529 - Pondering
So I was riding my new mountain bike yesterday (with some money I would have spent on dip). When I got to the top of my climb I was catching my breath while admiring the view of the pacific ocean on a beautiful blue sky day. Guess what I was thinking about? I thought to myself "damn a dip would be so nice right now". As that thought came up, I consciously caught it and said "nice try bitch". She reply's well a fake one would be ok too. I started laughing out loud.... She is tenacious.
The reality is, a dip would NOT have been nice and a fake one is a waste of time at this point. One of the really nice things about posting roll 529 days in a row is that when these situations arise, they stand out like a sore thumb. Do I still think about dip? YEP. Do I still crave a dip sometimes? YEP I do. But the desire is always manageable and because I have made a promise to my group. I cannot have a dip without their permission.
The bottom line, post roll everyday. It saved my weak ass again.
Good stuff Sensei,
Though I am many months behind you in quit numbers I now realize I have reached a point where I have gained a lot of quit knowledge and can think about these things without craving or jeopardizing my quit.
The question is, what would you gain from using dip? Lets be entirely honest here, without hiding from the real emotions.
If I were to use I know for sure I would get a buzz probably feel relaxed for about 5 minutes. That is the extent of what I can visualize.
What would I lose: 153 days of quit (vs 5 minutes of relaxation), complete loss of credibility, and worst of all, either a lifetime of addiction or having to go through more nic withdrawal.
That 5 minutes just doesn't seem worth it at all when I really think about it.
Keep it up bud, 529 is inspirational for me.
