265 days. Time for a look back....
265 days ago I felt terrible. I slept all the time. Had no energy. Was miserable and irritable. Life was a grind... Go to work, work hard, come home, collapse, start over. Chew at every point in between when I could.
Went to the doctor in December and was told why I felt terrible. High blood pressure, out of control diabetes, high cholesterol, low t, low blood o2, too much alcohol, too much of the wrong food, and... I chewed. On December 24th I took my life back.
The first month was hell. My withdrawals were miserable, I missed the sugary desserts, the rich potatoes, the never ending booze. But mostly the kodiak. The fog blanketed me for over a month. Still, every morning at 5 I went to the gym. I maintained my diet regimen, and I kept posting roll every day. The month turned into months. I made friends on this site. I've met several of you, and my commitment strengthened.
This week at work started with a lot of change. In the end - all good change - but still change. 265 days ago I would have barricaded myself in my office and opened a can - probably 2. This week I battened down and worked through the situation. And I'll do the same next week. No complaining, no agitation or irritability, just push through it! Control what I can control - let the rest go!
Later this week I went for a return trip to the doctor. My doctor is a young athletic type. He started laughing when he walked in. Said that he wouldnt have recognized me. Confirmed that I threw all of my meds out 3 months ago, and then told me my results were crazy excellent. Better than his own results. I've lost almost 60 lbs and gained a lot of muscle, turned every bad result to the good, stuck with the exercise and diet, but here is the thing...
None of that would have mattered if I still chewed. Here is why... In the end, that Kodiak bear ruled my life. I would have come up with an excuse to skip the gym so I could chew. And i could sneak some extra chew in the car if i drove thru mcdonalds for dinner instead of going home and making a salad. My time management was all built around maximizing my relationship with tobacco. My win this week is thanks to a pyramid of change - but my commitment to each of you every day is the base of the pyramid.
I cannot put into words to each of you that have led me, walked with me, or have given me the pleasure to walk with you thru what has been a life changing experience have done for me. Quitting has changed and saved my life.
Thank you to my ktc family--- I could not have done this without you.
