Withdrawal sux

[tinman]

365 Days

I met nicotine for the first time about 34 years ago, back on a little league field in a small rural town in upstate NY. Baseball and chewing tobacco, they went together like America and apple pie. At 10 , I really didn't think about the consequences of chewing. Many of my favorite baseball stars dipped, and I wanted to be just like them. Little did I know how much that cancer weed was going to take from me.

I continued to chew all through high school and into college. Circle in my pocket and bulged lower lip, dorm room and cars filled with spitters, those were the evidence of my stupidity. At some point I got tired of the grossed out looks, the spilled spitters and began to fear that I had already given myself cancer....but it was not enough.

I got married a couple of years later, and sired children. I continued to be sick of my addiction, and had 5 more reasons to give it up: My wife and four kids. What would they do if I died of cancer because of my stupidity? What if one of my children decided to start dipping because they wanted to be like me? I felt guilty about my failure to quit....but it was not enough.

As the years went by, I withdrew more and more from my family, I did not want my kids to know so I went “deep undercover” with my addiction. The time spent with them was always less enjoyable because I was always distracted by my need to sneak off and get my next “fix”. I started to become aware for the first time exactly how much dip was affecting me and all of those around me.....but it was not enough.

From the time that I was in college I tried to quit, I wanted to quit, I quit many times, sometimes for a day, sometimes a week, twice for over a month. I tried cold turkey, gum, using fake, hypnosis, weaning...some worked to get me to stop for a while but nothing worked to get me quit. Each time I tried and failed it plunged me deeper and deeper in defeat. Each time it took me longer and longer to try again. Even my fear of cancer drove me back to my addiction to cope with the stress of the fear of cancer....crazy. I was so sick of that vicious cycle: but it was not enough

A little over a year ago I had thoughts of trying to quit again. I typed “fake chew” into my browser and pressed enter. It brought me to the “smokeless alternatives” page on KTC. I read the reviews and settled on Hooch wintergreen. I put in my order and came back to the site and surfed a little bit. A couple of days later the Hooch came in the mail. I started thinking about KTC and figured going through this with others might help a little with my attempt to quit, so I posted an introduction and a day 1 in the May 2011 quit group. These strangers in cyberspace going on this journey with me. A couple of dozen veteran quitters were to be our guides. Quitters from all different groups added their support. Little did I know that these people were going to give me the wisdom, the support and strength to reclaim my life from the addiction that had plagued it for 34 years.

You see, I found this bunch of folks, who coached me, supported me, came up beside me, told me what I needed to hear, and simply got me to the point where I believed that it was in my power to make this my last quit. They held me accountable for my actions and thoughts, they pointed out where my thinking was weak.... That was what was missing all of these years: people who understood my addiction, and cared enough to tell me the truth and hold me accountable.

And that, my friends, was enough.

Thank You All.

Dale

Thank You 30 - I am v gratefull I have found this site and you guys share as you do.

I copied your peice above as that is where I have been in my addiction...'Deep undercover' , especially at home. Truth is, my family knew I was chewing like a madman, but I thought I had outsmarted em all...no so undercover afterall...

Once again, I am thankful go like you and the rest post. It is helping me save what ass I have left.

[30yraddict]

Be sure to visit the WELCOME CENTER for what you need to know to get started. Learn why we post roll. Learn how to post roll.
Stop by Introductions and tell us something about yourself
For inspiration stop by Words of Wisdom and HOF Speeches
What to expect when you quit is found here and here
Read about Tom and Jenny Kern, Randy, and watch the story of Sean Marsee as told by his brother.
Print out the Contract to Give Up. Carry it around with you and commit to signing it before taking another dip.
Finally, in the upper right corner of the screen, you'll see a link for LIVE CHAT. This can be a life saver when you're craving, bored, frustrated, whatever. Jump in to Chat and get live support.

[30yraddict]

30's quit resources

Complacency

Some of you might be at a stage where this quit is...dare I say it? Kinda EASY! You haven't been craving as much, hell sometimes you barely even think about dip. You might even be wondering why it took you so long to quit, as it really wasn't as hard as you thought...

I know I came to that stage about day 25 or so. Now the face of the enemy has changed. Your first days were sheer willpower, withdrawals, craves, reaching for a can that was no longer there...but now your enemy has a new name: COMPLACENCY....

The nic-bitch has been waiting for this point, waiting for the time you go out without your cell phone, waiting for the time you get drunk, or until you will listen to her little promptings that you can have "just one". Waiting until you know that you own this addiction, that no thought or planning is required to protect your quit. She's waiting to separate you from your support, get you distant from the herd so she can move in for the kill.

COMPLACENCY- This enemy you will battle for perhaps thousands of days, perhaps even for the rest of your life. I can tell you I would LOVE to forget about dip, love to forget about this stupid addiction, but I know I should not, that I cannot. You see, i have failed at quitting many times, I know what happens when I forget. To forget is to fail.

For that reason, you will see me posting roll tomorrow. It is how I have begun my day for the last 321 days in a row- a reminder that I am an addict, lest I forget.

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A Word to the Retreads

I wanted to wait until all of the drama died down to have a word with you....

So you are back...and posting roll...Doing the things I would expect to see from someone who is serious about their quit...In addition to posting roll, I sure hope you are living, breathing, drinking the kool aid here.

You can believe 2 things about this place: It's nothing more than a tool to help you quit and the people here are just strangers in cyberspace........ or this is a place full of dead serious quitters intent on saving their own life and helping others save theirs.

In the short time I have been here, I have actually met several quitters, talked to some more on the phone, texted still others, and keep in contact with others through facebook, pm, and email. I have moved the KTC experience far beyond some self help website in cyberspace. I have no place to hide...In order to get away from these folks I would have to change my home number, email address, cell number, move (yes some of them know where I live), abandon my facebook account, and ask my kids and wife to abandon theirs.

In other words- this is my last quit- and I am all in. I have built my accountability to the point that there is no going back...no hedged bets, no retreat clause, no surrender.

My question for you is: Have you decided this is your last quit? Then box yourself in...build your accountability to the point there is no escape. Take every opportunity to be held accountable to other quitters. Stay in constant contact with people that will not tolerate addict thinking. In short put all your chips in the center of the table...go all in.


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Is Posting Roll Enough?

So you've got a handle on how the site works, right? Post roll, honor that promise, repeat...is that all it takes? Technically, yes that is all it takes- if you do those three things every day without fail, you will quit for the rest of your life one today at a time- except -it doesn't seem to play out that way for many folks....That program is the foundation, the cornerstone of the program here. It is the bare minimum. That's the problem right there- people who do the bare minimum for their quit tend not to stick with it over the long haul. I can tell these people right away- they are the ones that you almost never see here as they are only here long enough to post roll. Those are the folks that you have to PM and/or use multiple posts to get their attention, because they don't even take the time to scroll down to find out what happened to their quit brothers/sisters throughout the day....hell they don't even look over the roll they are posting in to see what others are going through. I am pretty convinced I could change the header to "December Druids in Favor of Clubbing Baby Seals to Death" and they would come in, hit the quote button post their roll and leave... These people contribute nothing to the site- they are just a name followed by a number. Just as they were on the site they tend to just fade away into oblivion...and when they are gone, nobody really notices...sometimes they come back and post a day 1...usually it doesn't matter though. Because they usually just do the same thing all over again....post roll, leave the site quickly, fade away....

Then there are those that "get it". Those that understand the more they have invested in their quit, the better. Those that post roll every day and then build on it with developing accountability by exchanging numbers, reading the treasure chest of knowledge that is found throughout the site, by stepping up an helping other quitters- those are the people who stay quit.

Is your quit worth more than the bare minimum? If it's not- I predict a cave in your future. Post Roll, Honor Your Promise, Repeat. Exchange Numbers, Read, Take the time to help quitters new and old. Invest in your quit.

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A Word to Those That Know More than the Vets

Imagine that you are standing in front of a minefield...on the other side of that minefield stands a soldier...not only has he walked that minefield safely, but he has guided thousands of others through that minefield safely as well.. He hails you from the other side and offers to guide you across safely...

do you:

a) tell him he is well meaning but really doesn't know shit about minefields

or

b.) shut up and listen to what he has to say, treading the path of thousands of others before you.


one way guarantees you safe passage, Why tread a new path?

drink the kool aid...drink long. drink deep.

Don't be a casualty.

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30 the Roll Nazi:

You might be wondering why the emphasis on posting first thing in your day? Remember that your roll post is a promise not to use nicotine for just one day.....also know that your addict mind is always trying to get a fix of nicotine. Your addict mind is an expert on rationalization....For example : "I didn't post roll yet, so I'm really not breaking a promise by having just one....I can just quit tomorrow again..." Shut the door on your addict mind- post up first thing.

The other aspect of posting roll early and every day is that it is an investment in your accountability...if I post whenever I feel like it, nobody is going to pay attention when I am missing, whereas if I post every morning, it is going to raise a warning when folks don't see my post by the afternoon. I want my inbox blown up by dinnertime if I don't post...don't you?

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Want vs Decision

So what happened to those that disappeared to never be heard from again? While we can't be sure of a cave, it is possible that they just didn't want this bad enough. For those of you who are left: How bad do you want to quit? Because your success is predicted with perfect accuracy from the true answer to that question. Most of my 33 years dipping I strongly "wanted" to quit. If quitting's a strong "want" in your life- you will fail. It may not be today, it may not be next week, you may make it to your HOF day and beyond, but eventually you will cave. For those of you in this category- no advice you receive is going to be effective over the long term until you decide to shut the door on nicotine. Until you make the decision that you will pursue a lifestyle of quit. Go look at the cancer pics, do some research on what big tobacco has done over the years to keep you as their Marionette....read about Tom and Jenny Kern. go over to whyquit.com and read some of the stories there. Do whatever it takes to get you to the point of closing the door on nicotine. While we can give advice on how to quit, we cannot close the door for you. That, dear reader, is up to you.

If you are truly sick of this stupid addiction, really sick of being the lackey of big tobacco, sick of worrying about cancer, sick of hiding your addiction from others, and you want this quit more than anything else..and you drink the KTC kool aid - you will succeed- guaranteed. The program is foolproof:

Post Roll
Honor your promise for today
Repeat

One last thing: Quitters find a way to quit. Caver's find a way to cave.

Be a quitter.

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No Reservations Allowed

I was talking to a friend of mine about his AA meeting...he was telling me that there were several types of people there: ..the hard nosed in your face types who know that one drink will never be permissible, then there are the quieter ones, who also know that alcohol is off limits forever... the ones that are there because they are quitting for someone else: for their spouse, or for the judge...and then you will find some that are quit for today..but they are not really sure if they are an alcoholic...That is what is known as having a reservation...they are not really sure that they are quit for good...The first two types are the ones most likely to be successful in building a lifetime of sobriety one day at a time...The rest...well the failure rate is off the charts....

Do YOU have any reservations? Is there a circumstance that would push you over the edge? Is there a crave that would get too strong? Is there a limit to what you would do to protect your quit?
Know for sure that you are an addict. Know that "just one" will lead you back into the abyss of active addiction. Time to cancel your reservations and fly first class with your quit.

To quote one badass quitter:

No more- not for any reason!

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no.

The word is NO.

It is THE word that will keep you quit.

NO I will not back down.

NO I will not sacrifice my dignity to grovel at the feet of nicotine.

NO I will not give up my freedom in exchange for slavery.

NO I will not sacrifice my integrity for the empty promise that is a crave.

NO I will not enrich the coffers of those whose wealth is built on the misery of others.

NO I will not let my family down

NO I will not contribute to my own early demise today.

HELL NO I will not ingest nicotine today.

Advice is here, Support is here. An ass kicking when necessary is here. The fortitude to say NO is up to you.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Success does not take by surprise those that plan for it.

Posting your promise first thing is the first step in your plan. That promise tells me that you are committed to success right from jump street. It tells me your quit is the first thing on your mind - and it needs to be. After all, your addiction required your full attention when you were using. You would drive MILES in the middle of the night if you ran out. You would sneak out of family gatherings multiple times, make excuses to go to the store, take your time getting home....(insert what you did to feed your addiction here: ________ .) In other words, your mind was always planning ways to feed your addiction. It's time to retrain your mind to plan ways to feed your quit. To that end, posting roll first thing and making some time to be on the site seem like such minor things, no? A successful quit requires a plan for success. What's yours?
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Tips for below the line

1. Some will leave no matter what you do. Make them tell you they are not going to post roll with you anymore.... reason with them, do your best. If they refuse to listen to reason, you have done your part... you may very well see them back someday, redfaced with hat in hand, posting a day 1.

2. Some will slowly drift... starts out with a couple of days here and there... if they get no text from anyone...it will get longer. Most of these you can save, as they will stay as long as they know that they are missed when they are not on rollcall.

3. Find a way to keep the chatter up, maybe post a question of the day, post silly shit on roll call. Text each other, CALL each other. Trade emails. Make this into a tight knit village.

4. Get involved with the newer quit groups, adopt some newbs, invite them to post in here.

5. Don't base your group on any other. Resolve to defy statistics. Make it happen. May 2011 has the same 17 quitters posting Roll that they had 1 year ago. That's 50% of our HOF class as we approach 700 days. I personally think the same 17 will be posting with us a year from now.


For the drifters: The nic bitch is watching you the way a lion watches a herd. Waiting for you to get separated from your support, waiting for you to get distracted, waiting for you to forget that she is there. Waiting for you to get careless. She will devour you if she can.
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There is never just one- by kcah
I am going to share my story of my first quit, take it for what you will.

After chewing for years while in the military, the day I got out I left the can behind. I had not been to the US in about 6 years and i was looking to settle down, i was going to be home every night, and I sure didnt need that habit. So I walked away. Didnt chew before the military, wasnt going to chew after.

Years went by, YEARS without chew, I never missed it.

One day a buddy from the military showed up with a can of chew, he had moved back to town. At first I was strong, but at some point, some point I don't even recall I took one from him. I dont know how long it was till I was buying my own cans again but it couldn't of been more than a week. This was about 7 or 8 years ago.

Since then I was back to a can a day habit until I found this website because my gums were so fucked up I couldn't take it anymore.
KC

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M LooT's first post

Tomorrow never comes

11X4's Epiphany

Loot on brotherhood

MChewie on Cavers

MTwo Wolves

M Tools by WildBill

Nicotine over Legs

Skoal Monster's letter to UST

M What I know- by Skoal Monster

An open letter to non-regular posters

M Rick bender

M How bad do you want to quit?

M Tough Love

quitter vs stopper

Mundeniable truth

M Why not just one

Every day I post roll

M silly rabbits

pickles vs cucumbers

A welcome to the newbs

Nicotine over legs

There is no "just one"

M What's the hardest thing you can do

What are you willing to do to stay quit?

M Who does big tobacco think you are?

What you need to hear

M A quit plan

The caver

I take them out all the time

Mskoal monster's intro

the decision to quit- by chewie

M Tell your damn story

M Gruen shares the cold, hard facts

When to leave KTC by chewie


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[Souliman]

Day 461

An open letter to the nic bitch.

you try to make me think I can have a chew once in a while....it's a lie. You are just trying to enslave me.

you try to make me think it would be so good, that it would feel so good - Here's the truth- the majority of times you made me gag rushing to spit- so I wouldn't puke.

you try to convince me that it would be so much fun to spend time with you- the truth is you robbed me of so much time over my life that I do not want to waste another minute

you try to make me think there is no way I can remain quit forever. I don't have to- I only have to stay quit today.

although you have tried over the last two weeks to convince me of these things.....

I am still done with you.

The door is shut.

And it's staying that way.

Right on Dale.

Like my estranged ex-wife, the nic bitch is just some crazy witch pounding on the front door while I sit on the couch sipping my lemonade watching me some Swamp People.

[LLCope]

Well said---- We need to remind ourselves of what this addiction really is!

[30yraddict]

Day 461

An open letter to the nic bitch.

you try to make me think I can have a chew once in a while....it's a lie. You are just trying to enslave me.

you try to make me think it would be so good, that it would feel so good - Here's the truth- the majority of times you made me gag rushing to spit- so I wouldn't puke.

you try to convince me that it would be so much fun to spend time with you- the truth is you robbed me of so much time over my life that I do not want to waste another minute

you try to make me think there is no way I can remain quit forever. I don't have to- I only have to stay quit today.

although you have tried over the last two weeks to convince me of these things.....

I am still done with you.

The door is shut.

And it's staying that way.

[Scowick65]

A) Congrats on one year
B)  Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

Damn fine quit and Post 30.

^^^ 'clap'

30,

You inspire this whole site with your quit! Congrats Brother!

Congrats brother.

You earned your freedom.

Enjoy it, protect it as you have done and remain a free man.

P.S. It gets even better. I know, I know. You're thinking, how can that be. It just does.

Damn proud of you.

:)

[Ready]

A) Congrats on one year
B)  Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

Damn fine quit and Post 30.

^^^ 'clap'

30,

You inspire this whole site with your quit! Congrats Brother!

Congrats brother.

You earned your freedom.

Enjoy it, protect it as you have done and remain a free man.

P.S. It gets even better. I know, I know. You're thinking, how can that be. It just does.

Damn proud of you.

[LLCope]

A) Congrats on one year
B)  Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

Damn fine quit and Post 30.

^^^ 'clap'

30,

You inspire this whole site with your quit! Congrats Brother!

[ChewCrewRetiree]

A) Congrats on one year
B)  Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

Damn fine quit and Post 30.

^^^ 'clap'

[wastepanel]

A) Congrats on one year
B)  Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

Damn fine quit and Post 30.

[luby]

A) Congrats on one year
B) Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

and that smiley face is supposed to a "B" gosh I am bad with computers.

[luby]

A) Congrats on one year
B) Damn fine post, reading that really hit home and strengthened my quit today. The best thing about KTC is I know I am not alone, I could have written most of that about myself, for so long I thought I was unique in my feelings about my addiction and that made facing it a scarier proposition.
C) Thanks for your contribution to the site, it is leaders like you that keep this place the way it is!

[Souliman]

Thank you Dale. You've been a sherpa for me the past year.

Congratulations brother. You are one heck of a guy.

[30yraddict]

365 Days

I met nicotine for the first time about 34 years ago, back on a little league field in a small rural town in upstate NY. Baseball and chewing tobacco, they went together like America and apple pie. At 10 , I really didn't think about the consequences of chewing. Many of my favorite baseball stars dipped, and I wanted to be just like them. Little did I know how much that cancer weed was going to take from me.

I continued to chew all through high school and into college. Circle in my pocket and bulged lower lip, dorm room and cars filled with spitters, those were the evidence of my stupidity. At some point I got tired of the grossed out looks, the spilled spitters and began to fear that I had already given myself cancer....but it was not enough.

I got married a couple of years later, and sired children. I continued to be sick of my addiction, and had 5 more reasons to give it up: My wife and four kids. What would they do if I died of cancer because of my stupidity? What if one of my children decided to start dipping because they wanted to be like me? I felt guilty about my failure to quit....but it was not enough.

As the years went by, I withdrew more and more from my family, I did not want my kids to know so I went “deep undercover” with my addiction. The time spent with them was always less enjoyable because I was always distracted by my need to sneak off and get my next “fix”. I started to become aware for the first time exactly how much dip was affecting me and all of those around me.....but it was not enough.

From the time that I was in college I tried to quit, I wanted to quit, I quit many times, sometimes for a day, sometimes a week, twice for over a month. I tried cold turkey, gum, using fake, hypnosis, weaning...some worked to get me to stop for a while but nothing worked to get me quit. Each time I tried and failed it plunged me deeper and deeper in defeat. Each time it took me longer and longer to try again. Even my fear of cancer drove me back to my addiction to cope with the stress of the fear of cancer....crazy. I was so sick of that vicious cycle: but it was not enough

A little over a year ago I had thoughts of trying to quit again. I typed “fake chew” into my browser and pressed enter. It brought me to the “smokeless alternatives” page on KTC. I read the reviews and settled on Hooch wintergreen. I put in my order and came back to the site and surfed a little bit. A couple of days later the Hooch came in the mail. I started thinking about KTC and figured going through this with others might help a little with my attempt to quit, so I posted an introduction and a day 1 in the May 2011 quit group. These strangers in cyberspace going on this journey with me. A couple of dozen veteran quitters were to be our guides. Quitters from all different groups added their support. Little did I know that these people were going to give me the wisdom, the support and strength to reclaim my life from the addiction that had plagued it for 34 years.

You see, I found this bunch of folks, who coached me, supported me, came up beside me, told me what I needed to hear, and simply got me to the point where I believed that it was in my power to make this my last quit. They held me accountable for my actions and thoughts, they pointed out where my thinking was weak.... That was what was missing all of these years: people who understood my addiction, and cared enough to tell me the truth and hold me accountable.

And that, my friends, was enough.

Thank You All.

Dale