It is not a good time for my quiting. I don't know why but i feel that I can fuck it up in the nearest future... I did not write my hall of fame speech so far but I ve got very strong cravings. I'm on the KTC everyday and everyday I'm posting but I feel that I can loose :(
Future is just that friend. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned about the now. Slow down and realize your still not there. There is no finish. I think a lot of us hit 100 and think things will be all better for ever. That,s unrealisric and not going to happen. The truth is you've just begun this journey. 100 was just the start of what's ahead.
I can tell you that 200 was a lot better than 100. At 500+ I'm thinking myself everyday for not giving in when things got tough. I wouldn't go back to that life for nothing.
Tell me something? This is for u to answer to yourself. At 120 you are still contemplating the use in the future?! When are you going to take cave all the way off the table? I took it all the way off way earlier than 120. Why is cave even a thought at this point?!?! Until you have given yourself over to the fact that the poison has no place in your life no matter what, then your intro will have entries like this.
You'll feel better after a bit. Suck it up and take cave off the table. After all you been through i can tell you that it can get a lot worse. Putting that poison back in your temple would be one of the worse feelings of failure you have ever had. Make no mistake,,,,, a failure it would be!!!