It is not a good time for my quiting. I don't know why but i feel that I can fuck it up in the nearest future... I did not write my hall of fame speech so far but I ve got very strong cravings. I'm on the KTC everyday and everyday I'm posting but I feel that I can loose :(
Mac, you have gone 100+ days brother, go back to minute by minute if you have to. You have all of the tools with you, use them again to get you over this rough spot.
MacGregor! How the hell are you man?
Here are a few things to think about... you are quit 115 days today. How many days did you poison your brain? A lot more than 115! It is going to take time to heal... it won't happen overnight -it is a process. The process doesn't take 100 days. It takes everyone a different amount of time.
Here is what I do know. I know that your word is as good as gold. You are a man of your word. And I look, every day, to make sure that your name is on that July roll call. Because if your name is on that list then you are clean for that day. Tomorrow... who cares? Worry about that tomorrow. When you stop posting, you stop quitting.
Read the last line again Greg... every person that I can think of that has posted a second day one on KTC has done so because they stopped posting. Why on earth anyone would stop is beyond me... some people just don't get it. You do. Keep posting.
Dude, I wasn't healed at day 100... not even close. I'm not "cured" now. I'll never be cured... I'll always be an addict. But I'll tell you this... what you are experiencing now is not what your future looks like. The time after 100 is typically a down time in a quit. Normal. But bright days are ahead.
In the meantime... you have 105 posts in 115 days. Consider reaching out to a new quitter. Nothing will amplify your resolve more than fighting in the trenches with a comrade that is struggling. Plus... it reminds you of the bullshit of your early days. The days that, 115 days in, you have kinda forgotten about. Go back and read some of your early posts while you are at it. You are healing Greg...
Have a great weekend. You can do this. One day at a time.