Mac, you have lost the battle with allowing a substance to control you. Think about that for a minute. Something is controlling every single aspect of your life. How you think, eat, sleep, shit. After everything that you put your mind and body through over the time that you weren't an active addict, you've chosen to let the bitch win AGAIN. You half assed your quit for quite a while, slipping from posting roll, not being active in July. Take a good hard look in the mirror Mac and make the decision, either man up or be a slave once again.