Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)

[wildirish317]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.

I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!

You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.

Quite a few of us had similar discussion between the one and two year marks. I kinda remeber what you are describing. It was definately not a fun time. Quite different from the early stages but no less difficult, just on a different level I suppose. I can tell you this. It did pass. I havnt had any real issued after the two year mark or there about.

I'm still here. 9 years in. And I don't get that depressed, what's next and this place drags me down feeling any longer. Hell, I don't really make the connections between this place and dipping any longer if that makes sense. It just doesn't faze me.

Hope that helps.

Thanks Ready. I'm not going anywhere. My dear lost friend Kubiackalpha once told me "writing is therapeutic", so what better place to post my trials and successes than here? We all have issues beyond (an possibly masked by) our addictions. I've found that I get depressed a lot.

Unfortunately for you guys, I tend to post my trials more than my successes. I should work on that.

[Ready]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.

I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!

You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.

Quite a few of us had similar discussion between the one and two year marks. I kinda remeber what you are describing. It was definately not a fun time. Quite different from the early stages but no less difficult, just on a different level I suppose. I can tell you this. It did pass. I havnt had any real issued after the two year mark or there about.

I'm still here. 9 years in. And I don't get that depressed, what's next and this place drags me down feeling any longer. Hell, I don't really make the connections between this place and dipping any longer if that makes sense. It just doesn't faze me.

Hope that helps.

[FLLipOut]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.

I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!

You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.

[Tjschu]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement.  Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.

I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!

[FISHFLORIDA]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.

[ChickDip]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.

[wildirish317]

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here.

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?

[baseballbrett]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.

Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!

Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.

Congrats on 400. Well done.

Definitely proud to quit with you each day Irish. Thanks for quitting with us. Grats on the 4th floor! Love reading your intro thoughts as well. #junited

[JGlav]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.

Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!

Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.

Congrats on 400. Well done.

[ChickDip]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.

Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!

Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.

[KingNothing]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.

Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!

[ChickDip]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.

[FISHFLORIDA]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.

[pky1520]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.

Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!

[wildirish317]

400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.