Well, I don’t think a simple “told you so” is guna do it. It’s been about 800 days since I was dropped from this group. It took me a while but eventually I caved. I’ve thought about coming back for to long. Everytime I put a turd in my lip the past year it sent an almost electric shock to my brain thinking about how far down the shit hole of addiction I’ve sunk. Back again, hoping you all will have mercy on me. I wana apologize to all of you first off, I regret a lot of things but mostly I regret not listening to the guidance of my fellow quitters, no matter how harsh it sounded.
Here’s how it happened, after leaving this site, I stayed quit for about 6 more months. I inspired my co workers and friends trying to quit, so that I could fill this gaping hole of accountability that I lost for myself and invest in other people. None of them survived, I watched my co workers slip back into addiction one by one and got to watch how easy it was to throw away so much progress. The stress of my new PM job and the lack of respect for my own well being kept growing like an infectious virus. It got heavier and heavier to hold and I lost sight of why I was quit.
THIS IS WHY THIS SITE WORKS.... which is also something I lost sight of. We reminded each other every day of the struggle we went through, why we hated it so much, and why we were so happy to be over it. The 1200 days I spent quit with July 2014 were the strongest years of my life. The empowerment it brings you to know you’re in the small percentage of people that have lifted themselves out of the shithole of addiction.
I want back on this train, and when I’m back I’m going to stay here until I either die, or the planet expires, whichever comes first. If I have an issue, I need to reach out and look for a solution. Treat roll as if it’s sacred EVERY GOD DAMN DAY. Watching that number grow is what’s keeping you alive, it’s like your life support. Pull the plug and you’ll end up like me, crawling back desperately looking for help.
DONT BE LIKE ME
BE A BADASS QUITTER
I was once a badass quitter, I was about 1200 days free. I got loose with roll, my group ditched me, it took me a while but I eventually caved. I’m now a year in and I’m more addicted than I’ve ever been. Stopped for 30 days and failed. I regret all of it, and I want to get my life back on track and ditch this piece of shit in my mouth. I know I’ll probably get reamed, but I’m here and I want to be done with this!
Man it's people like you that keep me posting my promise EDD. And I have to say, your group "ditching you" is possibly one of the lamest excuses for YOUR failure. YOU decided to throw away 1200 days of freedom. YOU put the cat shit into your face. There are countless other groups here at KTC that would have adopted you per se and let you post with them.
To start out, you need to answer the three questions. You need to dig deep and put some honest thought into these since they are for you more than us. We can learn from your mistakes but ultimately you need to get to the bottom of why slavery to a dead weed in a plastic can was better than freedom.
1.) What happened?
2.) Why did it happen?
3.) What are you going to do differently this time?
Post these answers into your new May 2020 group as well as your old group. I don't care that no one is there anymore. Maybe one of your old group people will come back thinking about caving, see your failure and think twice.
