Anger brought me back to Day 1

[jayd41]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

"....how I would have gotten through that situation?"

I am tired of hearing you pose that question. Only YOU know that answer. We all chose to ignore LIFE by stuffing our faces with poison. We all are still learning how to deal with LIFE w/o that poison. You in ONE moment of selfish, woe-is-me, spite decided that YOU aren't worth it. YOU have to figure out how YOU are going to stay away from that darkness. What are you willing to do to stay QUIT?
It takes nuts davey. Big fucking yak nuts.

Vadge 829. I will not use. Not Today.

*PS - the hands are everywhere.

NOT TODAY.

And I mean it. Cuz I got yak nuts, too.

well if you read through me intro...i got through i fit of rage by putting my size 14 shoe through a wall at work...wasn't the smartest thing i ever did but i paid to have it fixed and i'll have made that money back on the dip i'm not buying anymore. your situation is yours alone....you need to learn how to breath through the anger, go read a book, do some pushups, furiously masterbate, whatever keeps the shit out of your mouth.

...and learn how to keep your word like a man.

yeah what he said more than what i said

[Toddy]

Daviddim,

today won't be the end of your "lumps" I'm sure as caving is not a popular activity. One piece of advice...get to know your quit brothers intimately. Its easy to not keep your word if you have no relationship with the people on the site or are disconnected. Thats one of the reasons that those that don't post everyday....fail...no connection. Call those numbers that you have now, and let them know you will be giving them a call later this week, or this month to help you through those times when you just want to say "fuck it". We survive through community.

[G]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

"....how I would have gotten through that situation?"

I am tired of hearing you pose that question. Only YOU know that answer. We all chose to ignore LIFE by stuffing our faces with poison. We all are still learning how to deal with LIFE w/o that poison. You in ONE moment of selfish, woe-is-me, spite decided that YOU aren't worth it. YOU have to figure out how YOU are going to stay away from that darkness. What are you willing to do to stay QUIT?
It takes nuts davey. Big fucking yak nuts.

Vadge 829. I will not use. Not Today.

*PS - the hands are everywhere.

NOT TODAY.

And I mean it. Cuz I got yak nuts, too.

well if you read through me intro...i got through i fit of rage by putting my size 14 shoe through a wall at work...wasn't the smartest thing i ever did but i paid to have it fixed and i'll have made that money back on the dip i'm not buying anymore. your situation is yours alone....you need to learn how to breath through the anger, go read a book, do some pushups, furiously masterbate, whatever keeps the shit out of your mouth.

...and learn how to keep your word like a man.

[jayd41]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

"....how I would have gotten through that situation?"

I am tired of hearing you pose that question. Only YOU know that answer. We all chose to ignore LIFE by stuffing our faces with poison. We all are still learning how to deal with LIFE w/o that poison. You in ONE moment of selfish, woe-is-me, spite decided that YOU aren't worth it. YOU have to figure out how YOU are going to stay away from that darkness. What are you willing to do to stay QUIT?
It takes nuts davey. Big fucking yak nuts.

Vadge 829. I will not use. Not Today.

*PS - the hands are everywhere.

NOT TODAY.

And I mean it. Cuz I got yak nuts, too.

well if you read through me intro...i got through i fit of rage by putting my size 14 shoe through a wall at work...wasn't the smartest thing i ever did but i paid to have it fixed and i'll have made that money back on the dip i'm not buying anymore. your situation is yours alone....you need to learn how to breath through the anger, go read a book, do some pushups, furiously masterbate, whatever keeps the shit out of your mouth.

[G]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

"....how I would have gotten through that situation?"

I am tired of hearing you pose that question. Only YOU know that answer. We all chose to ignore LIFE by stuffing our faces with poison. We all are still learning how to deal with LIFE w/o that poison. You in ONE moment of selfish, woe-is-me, spite decided that YOU aren't worth it. YOU have to figure out how YOU are going to stay away from that darkness. What are you willing to do to stay QUIT?
It takes nuts davey. Big fucking yak nuts.

Vadge 829. I will not use. Not Today.

*PS - the hands are everywhere.

NOT TODAY.

And I mean it. Cuz I got yak nuts, too.

[ERDVM]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

"....how I would have gotten through that situation?"

I am tired of hearing you pose that question. Only YOU know that answer. We all chose to ignore LIFE by stuffing our faces with poison. We all are still learning how to deal with LIFE w/o that poison. You in ONE moment of selfish, woe-is-me, spite decided that YOU aren't worth it. YOU have to figure out how YOU are going to stay away from that darkness. What are you willing to do to stay QUIT?
It takes nuts davey. Big fucking yak nuts.

Vadge 829. I will not use. Not Today.

*PS - the hands are everywhere.

[quitter123]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

I quit with you.

[Daviddim]

My fuck up was a result of anger, i was waiting for my package of hooch yesterday, but only got a pink slip. The mail lady is scared of my dogs, i turned red with anger blaming the world for making my quit harder when really the only person that made it harder was MYSELF.

It happened because i was not prepared to face that anger, and because i did not UTILIZE this site to get me through it. This site and all of you got me through 4 days, why i did not come to all of you when my switch flipped yesterday baffles me since you have gotten me through so many cravings already.

This time around, if you will all still hold out your hand to help me after i made the stupid decision to stab you all in the back. I want to truly talk to you all and gather advice on how YOU would have gotten through that situation if it were you. My mistake was not coming to you all last night, and i know that. It will not happen again if you all will still have me.

[Daviddim]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.

So, I dont struggle from anger, in fact noone in my family has EVER seen me angry until that day. The fact is, ive never experienced anger through withdrawals before, i became irrational, stupid and the worst part is i didnt look to the people who got be 4 days sober in the first place. Im sorry this made you angry, apparently. I know you feel like i spat in your face. Just know that im truly sorry and ive laid out a plan not to let this happen again.

[Daviddim]

Oh man, i apologize i didnt realize i had so many replies on this. 3 questions were answered after my Day 1 roll was posted. Il post it here so all of you can read it.

With that aside, i get it. IM AN IDIOT, that was not me it was my nic hulk speaking, and it was the nic hulk that woke up in the morning and wanted to lie about it. The fact remains that i DID remain honest and i DID tell you all, we all make mistakes and mine was not utilizing this site that blessed me with 4 sober days in the first place. I couldnt have done it without all of you and i sure as shit will not forget that this time around. I owe it to you all to keep going and be a good example to future quitters.

Back to 4 days sober
Thank you MCO, Erussel, Bronc and P23 for slapping some fucking sense into me.

[jayd41]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.

He posted a day 5 after a cigarette the night before. Then he came back later and changed it to a day 1.

but did he post a day 4?

I don't think it matters if he posted a day 4. If the chronology is correct he smoked a cigarette on the night of his day 4, woke up on what would've been day 5 (had he not caved), and posted day 5. He then came back later and changed his day 5 to a day 1, admitting he smoked a cigarette the night before.

Is this correct, daviddim? Please correct us if we are wrong.

That's kind of my point GHC...if he posted day 4 and smoked a cigarette that night then that means he went back on his promise that he posted that morning. In my short time around this website almost every caver goes away for awhile and that's when the cave happens...they (me included) didn't post anything so they didn't make a promise then they caved...this guy posted a promise and went against it that day...that would make his promises from now on fairly meaningless...that's the whole point of this site. Most men have some integrity and keep their word...i don't see that from this fellow.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.

He posted a day 5 after a cigarette the night before. Then he came back later and changed it to a day 1.

but did he post a day 4?

I don't think it matters if he posted a day 4. If the chronology is correct he smoked a cigarette on the night of his day 4, woke up on what would've been day 5 (had he not caved), and posted day 5. He then came back later and changed his day 5 to a day 1, admitting he smoked a cigarette the night before.

Is this correct, daviddim? Please correct us if we are wrong.

[jayd41]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.

He posted a day 5 after a cigarette the night before. Then he came back later and changed it to a day 1.

but did he post a day 4?

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.

He posted a day 5 after a cigarette the night before. Then he came back later and changed it to a day 1.

[jayd41]

LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are going to fly off in a fit of rage because you didn't get your hooch then you have some issues other then addiction...maybe you need to go get a hug...maybe a coke. If you're that big of an asshole to flip out on a mail lady then maybe you need to get into some counseling to find out why you are such an asshole. I want to know if you had posted that day when you burned one down? If you did, then your word is pretty meaningless.