Staying quit is something I'll have to work at the rest of my life.
So, here are my Post-HOF promises: 1) I will continue to post roll because it fucking works, 2) I will always try to post when I have something useful/important to share with you awesome folks, 3) I will always strive to help others with their quits, and lastlyÂ…
But I am going to continue to post because it helps me.
Look at those that are here that are past their 100 day mark. Do you think they magically forgot they were addicted to tobacco? Do you think they could pick up a can of Skoal/Copenhagen/etc. and use it at their leisure? Nope. And neither can I. And neither can you.
I've been busy lately and feel like I'm going to bust. I'm stretching myself too thin for everybody, and really just need to concentrate on one thing right now. However, I needed to do some reading today. I spent the afternoon looking at old posts from my friends here. There's a lot of bad ass knowledge tossed around here, and these quotes above me are perfect examples of that.
Or are they?
I can't take credit for the first 3, but I can the last. It came from my Hall of Fame speech in 2006. If any of you know anything about me, you know that I caved in 2009. I came back here with my tail between my legs in 2011 and not remembering a damn thing I learned the first time around. Truthfully, I completely believed that I couldn't be happy without that fucking poisonous weed. But look at me now...day 1335. I'm not taking chances.
Happy to be quit.Those other 3 quotes are from returning members as well, and none of them are currently posting with us even now. It's not even like failure is unfamiliar here. These aren't the only 3 "badasses" that forgot everything they learned and failed. Look around because the sanctimonious tone of this place is unbearable to me right now.
There was a time (when I was around 200-300 days) when I posted daily to the May 2011 three ballers. On occasion, Larry Drummer would want to get me all riled up and said he wasn't posting tomorrow. I'd type some shit out and look for his name the next day. He'd quietly post roll and not even acknowledge his previous day's post. If he did, he'd say "I changed my mind". For the longest time, he would get me regularly with that.
Now, as I look around at the boards, I see some very appalling ideas. They're not new, but I do believe that many quitters feel like their shit don't stink. I see the same "I don't need to post here" that I used to see coming from that "difficult" individual (you know...the one that didn't get it) coming from somebody that I thought once did get it. It throws me for a loop.
I'm glad that everybody here is quit, but if you think for one second that you are above failure and forgetting, you're wrong.
If you think you are quit completely and always will be, you're wrong.
If you think that you can walk away from "regular posting" while pretending to spout KTC knowledge, you're wrong.
Look, there are and were times when I needed this board a lot. There are times that I don't. I post roll, and I go about my day. But, there are other jaw swollen days where my kids are screaming and I need to let go on here, that I do. It's not shameful to live your life, but fucking ground yourself. My second attempt at a HOF speech was a little more understanding of the battle I was facing: It was a retelling of the story of Icarus. I can never fly too high again, and I can never go to low.
Now, I purposely put this out in my introduction so that you can read it without being registered. You will because I know failure begins where you are going. Quitting is not a decision. It's a series of actions after making a decision. I choose to be quit, and I choose to pursue being quit.
I'm sorry being quit was such a burden.