Author Topic: First Week  (Read 114727 times)

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Offline Keith0617

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Re: First Week
« Reply #263 on: Today at 08:14:42 AM »
300 Days


If you told me 300+ days ago I’d be back at KTC, I wouldn’t have believed you. I really thought I was done here. I had already slipped, and in my mind, that was it. I carried a lot of embarrassment and didn’t think I’d come back from it.

But I was still addicted.

No matter how I tried to frame it, I kept coming back to the same place. Somewhere along the way, I started telling myself that my situation was different—that I had more going on, that nicotine wasn’t the real problem. It was an easy story to believe, because it let me avoid dealing with what was actually right in front of me.

Looking back, I can see it more clearly now. I wasn’t dealing with things—I was avoiding them.

300 days ago, something shifted. I had to admit that this addiction still had a hold on me—on my health, my time, and the way I was showing up for the people in my life.

And I knew if I didn’t change something, nothing was going to change.

The biggest difference this time has been letting go of the idea that I could do it on my own. The truth is, without KTC, I won’t make it. Coming back, getting connected, and staying accountable—that’s what made this quit different.

Now, even on the hard days, I try to keep it simple:
Just focus on today. ODAAT!

No overthinking it. No looking too far ahead. Just doing what I need to do to stay quit right now.

I’m grateful for the people here who pushed me, supported me, and didn’t give up on me—even when I had already written myself off.

And to anyone new reading this: what you’re doing matters. More than you probably realize. It’s a reminder of where this starts—and why it’s worth fighting through.

300 days doesn’t make me immune to anything. I know I still have to stay aware and keep doing the work.

But today, I’m here. And I’m QLF with all of you!
Huge congrats @DWEIRICK   Just remember it isn’t a sprint. We can’t make up for a previous cave. Keep the focus on ODAAT, help others, and always keep your quit the most importsant thing. You area killing it dude.
Jan19

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #262 on: Today at 06:48:21 AM »
300 Days


If you told me 300+ days ago I’d be back at KTC, I wouldn’t have believed you. I really thought I was done here. I had already slipped, and in my mind, that was it. I carried a lot of embarrassment and didn’t think I’d come back from it.

But I was still addicted.

No matter how I tried to frame it, I kept coming back to the same place. Somewhere along the way, I started telling myself that my situation was different—that I had more going on, that nicotine wasn’t the real problem. It was an easy story to believe, because it let me avoid dealing with what was actually right in front of me.

Looking back, I can see it more clearly now. I wasn’t dealing with things—I was avoiding them.

300 days ago, something shifted. I had to admit that this addiction still had a hold on me—on my health, my time, and the way I was showing up for the people in my life.

And I knew if I didn’t change something, nothing was going to change.

The biggest difference this time has been letting go of the idea that I could do it on my own. The truth is, without KTC, I won’t make it. Coming back, getting connected, and staying accountable—that’s what made this quit different.

Now, even on the hard days, I try to keep it simple:
Just focus on today. ODAAT!

No overthinking it. No looking too far ahead. Just doing what I need to do to stay quit right now.

I’m grateful for the people here who pushed me, supported me, and didn’t give up on me—even when I had already written myself off.

And to anyone new reading this: what you’re doing matters. More than you probably realize. It’s a reminder of where this starts—and why it’s worth fighting through.

300 days doesn’t make me immune to anything. I know I still have to stay aware and keep doing the work.

But today, I’m here. And I’m QLF with all of you!
OPEN ROLL CALL

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"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

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Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #261 on: April 11, 2026, 09:25:59 AM »
Day 299

The eve before a zero day always excites me for a couple of reasons. First, it’s badass seeing a string of nines. Second, it means I’m about to level up to the next floor.

With each floor, I get further from who I used to be—and that’s a good thing. But I can’t forget where I came from. Forgetting leads to complacency, and complacency leads back to Day 1s. I’m not interested in posting another Day 1 for as long as I’m on this earth.

So whether it’s a string of nines or zeros, I’ll be here—posting my promise every single day.

I won’t forget how defeated and disgusted I felt the day I dragged myself back here in 2025.
OPEN ROLL CALL

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Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline MN_Engineer

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Re: First Week
« Reply #260 on: April 06, 2026, 10:32:33 PM »
Day 294

One of our cars was in the garage for inspection and was ready today, so my wife and I drove down to pick it up. It’s only about a 10-minute drive, but as soon as we got there, I knew something wasn’t right. She looked flushed—her color was off. Just not herself.

I’ve been in Fire/EMS and 911 long enough to trust that gut feeling. When I asked what was going on, she told me she’d been having chest pain and shortness of breath. She’s a respiratory therapist, so when she says she’s short of breath, that immediately sets off alarms for me.
She tried to brush it off—said she was just tired and sore—but I wasn’t taking any chances. She just had major surgery on the 19th, so I told her we were going straight to the ER. No debate.

So here we are. Vitals are stable, and they’ve ordered a CT scan to rule out a pulmonary embolism.

My stress and anxiety are through the roof right now. I’m exhausted from work, helping her recover, and holding everything together at home. I easily could’ve stopped and grabbed a can on the way—but I didn’t.
I made a promise—not just to myself, but to my fellow Mugs and the hundreds of quitters here. And I’m not breaking that promise, no matter what life throws at me. I’m done being owned by nicotine.
Nicotine has never fixed anything for me—or anyone else—and it never will.
I’m still standing strong in my quit because of all of you at KTC.

Seriously, thank you for being my rock and giving all of us a place to fight this addiction together. I’m beyond grateful for the support and for being given another chance at redemption. That likely saved my life.
The old me would already be a can deep. Because of all of you, I’m not that person anymore.
NAFAR — No matter the situation, no matter the circumstances… never again.
Praying for your wife and you as you provide the support and care she needs. I'm always just a phone call away.
Nic Quit: 04.25.16 | HOF: 08.02.16 | 2nd FL: 11.10.16 | 3rd FL: 02.18.17 | 4th FL: 05.29.17 | 5th FL: 09.06.17 | 6th FL: 12.15.17 | 7th FL: 03.25.18 |
8th FL: 07.03.18 | 9th FL: 10.11.18 | Comma: 01.19.19 | 11th FL: 04.29.19 | 12th FL: 08.07.19 | 13th FL: 11.15.19 | 14th FL: 02.23.20 |
15th FL: 06.02.20 | 16th FL: 09.10.20 | 17th FL: 12.19.20 | 18th FL: 03.29.21 | 19th FL: 07.07.21 | Comma 2x: 10.15.21 | 21st FL: 01.23.22 |
22nd FL: 05.03.22 | 23rd FL: 08.11.22 | 24th FL: 11.19.22 | 25th FL: 02.27.23 | 26th FL: 06.07.23 | 27th FL: 09.15.23 | 28th FL: 12.24.23 |
29th FL: 04.02.24 | Comma 3x: 07.11.24 | 31st FL: 10.19.24 | 32nd FL: 01.27.25 | 33rd FL: 03.07.25 | 34th FL: 08.15.25 | 35th FL: 11.23.25 |
36th FL: 03.03.26 |

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Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #259 on: April 06, 2026, 09:51:28 PM »
Day 294

One of our cars was in the garage for inspection and was ready today, so my wife and I drove down to pick it up. It’s only about a 10-minute drive, but as soon as we got there, I knew something wasn’t right. She looked flushed—her color was off. Just not herself.

I’ve been in Fire/EMS and 911 long enough to trust that gut feeling. When I asked what was going on, she told me she’d been having chest pain and shortness of breath. She’s a respiratory therapist, so when she says she’s short of breath, that immediately sets off alarms for me.
She tried to brush it off—said she was just tired and sore—but I wasn’t taking any chances. She just had major surgery on the 19th, so I told her we were going straight to the ER. No debate.

So here we are. Vitals are stable, and they’ve ordered a CT scan to rule out a pulmonary embolism.

My stress and anxiety are through the roof right now. I’m exhausted from work, helping her recover, and holding everything together at home. I easily could’ve stopped and grabbed a can on the way—but I didn’t.
I made a promise—not just to myself, but to my fellow Mugs and the hundreds of quitters here. And I’m not breaking that promise, no matter what life throws at me. I’m done being owned by nicotine.
Nicotine has never fixed anything for me—or anyone else—and it never will.
I’m still standing strong in my quit because of all of you at KTC.

Seriously, thank you for being my rock and giving all of us a place to fight this addiction together. I’m beyond grateful for the support and for being given another chance at redemption. That likely saved my life.
The old me would already be a can deep. Because of all of you, I’m not that person anymore.
NAFAR — No matter the situation, no matter the circumstances… never again.
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #258 on: March 28, 2026, 01:32:35 PM »
Day 285

As I approach the third floor of my quit, I caught myself slipping into some negative space. A lot hit all at once in a short period of time.

My father ended up in the hospital with complications from diabetes and lost a toe—thankfully not his whole foot. I already had my roll and my promise in place when I got that phone call: there’s nothing nicotine could’ve solved anyway, so we move forward.

Our son had some concerning results from an echocardiogram related to his Marfan syndrome diagnosis. Now it’s more appointments and an echo every six months while we figure out the next steps. Again—nothing nicotine is going to fix.

My wife just went through plastic surgery after losing a significant amount of weight, and her recovery has been rough. I had to miss a few shifts, and we almost ended up in the ER one night due to pain and complications. And still—not a single thing nicotine would’ve done except make everything worse and add to the pile.

I’ve fully come to terms with something: no matter what I face today or tomorrow, nicotine is not an option. It’s not a solution. It’s not a crutch. It’s a dead end.

We head up and push on.
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

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Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline ChickDip

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Re: First Week
« Reply #257 on: March 21, 2026, 01:11:45 PM »
Day 276 3/19/26

My wife was in surgery today (elective, nothing serious), so I kept myself busy running around and taking care of things that needed to get done. Even though my nerves were pretty fried, not once did nicotine cross my mind—and that honestly makes me really happy.
Learning to handle life’s ups and downs without that crutch can be tough at times, but the benefits far outweigh the struggle. Once you start truly experiencing life without constantly thinking about your next dip, you realize you never want to go back to the person you were before quitting.
Huge victory Dustin!!
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Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #256 on: March 20, 2026, 08:42:48 AM »
Day 276 3/19/26

My wife was in surgery today (elective, nothing serious), so I kept myself busy running around and taking care of things that needed to get done. Even though my nerves were pretty fried, not once did nicotine cross my mind—and that honestly makes me really happy.
Learning to handle life’s ups and downs without that crutch can be tough at times, but the benefits far outweigh the struggle. Once you start truly experiencing life without constantly thinking about your next dip, you realize you never want to go back to the person you were before quitting.
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #255 on: March 14, 2026, 10:09:24 AM »
Day 269

Our 11-year-old son had a follow-up appointment with cardiology yesterday.

He has Marfan syndrome, a genetic disorder that affects connective tissue and can cause complications with the heart, blood vessels, and skeleton. It’s also the reason he has severe scoliosis and needs surgery each year.

Now his aorta is becoming a concern. We’ll need to go back in six months for another echocardiogram to monitor a weak area and make sure it isn’t enlarging and stays stable.

This kid just can’t seem to catch a break, and it breaks my heart. But he’s a fighter. And now that I'm not stuffing cancer in my face  anymore, I’m hoping he’ll have me around for a lot longer to keep supporting him through all of this.

Day 269 I am QLF and there is not a damn trial, tribulation or obstacle that will keep from remaining quit....
Nicotine never solved a problem. A problem + nicotine = 2 problems.

You are 100 percent correct Brother!
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline Keith0617

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Re: First Week
« Reply #254 on: March 14, 2026, 10:04:17 AM »
Day 269

Our 11-year-old son had a follow-up appointment with cardiology yesterday.

He has Marfan syndrome, a genetic disorder that affects connective tissue and can cause complications with the heart, blood vessels, and skeleton. It’s also the reason he has severe scoliosis and needs surgery each year.

Now his aorta is becoming a concern. We’ll need to go back in six months for another echocardiogram to monitor a weak area and make sure it isn’t enlarging and stays stable.

This kid just can’t seem to catch a break, and it breaks my heart. But he’s a fighter. And now that I'm not stuffing cancer in my face  anymore, I’m hoping he’ll have me around for a lot longer to keep supporting him through all of this.

Day 269 I am QLF and there is not a damn trial, tribulation or obstacle that will keep from remaining quit....
Nicotine never solved a problem. A problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
Jan19

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #253 on: March 12, 2026, 09:05:50 AM »
Day 269

Our 11-year-old son had a follow-up appointment with cardiology yesterday.

He has Marfan syndrome, a genetic disorder that affects connective tissue and can cause complications with the heart, blood vessels, and skeleton. It’s also the reason he has severe scoliosis and needs surgery each year.

Now his aorta is becoming a concern. We’ll need to go back in six months for another echocardiogram to monitor a weak area and make sure it isn’t enlarging and stays stable.

This kid just can’t seem to catch a break, and it breaks my heart. But he’s a fighter. And now that I'm not stuffing cancer in my face  anymore, I’m hoping he’ll have me around for a lot longer to keep supporting him through all of this.

Day 269 I am QLF and there is not a damn trial, tribulation or obstacle that will keep from remaining quit....
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #252 on: March 05, 2026, 06:36:27 PM »
Day 262

Last night on the night tour and it's back to days for me! Last week I my wife and I went to Virginia Beach to see our close friend graduate from Nursing school. 6-hour drive from PA to VA and I did it without cancer stuffed in my face! That being said that is the longest drive I made without nicotine! Pretty stoked about that since I would never drive anywhere without my cancer can before. Winning every damn day!!
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline Keith0617

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Re: First Week
« Reply #251 on: March 02, 2026, 06:19:04 PM »
Day 253

Yesterday I got the kids on the bus for school, hit the gym, and then took my usual nap before work. Let me tell you — I had the most vivid cave dream I’ve had yet. By far the most realistic one.

Out of nowhere in the dream, I’m standing in my bedroom with a wad of Copenhagen in my lip. Instant panic. My brain is racing because I have no idea how it got there. I didn’t remember putting a dip in — at least I couldn’t remember doing it. That feeling of losing control was terrifying.

I ran to the bathroom and spit it into the garbage can. Then I went to turn on the sink… and the pipes were frozen again. I walked downstairs thinking; this has got to be a dream. There’s no way this is real life right now. The disappointment I felt was unreal. I was crushed.

I even pinched my arm a few times to check if I was dreaming, but nothing registered. It all felt completely real. I was in full panic mode — sweating, spiraling, a total mess.

Then suddenly, I woke up.

I was in my bed. Dip-free. But absolutely soaked in sweat.

For a second I thought that bitch had me. But she’s going to have to try a hell of a lot harder than that.

Stay strong, everyone. The mind plays tricks, but we’re stronger.
Part of me hates those dreams and part of me appreciates them because they light a fire in me to quit even harder and try to help more fellow addicts.
Jan19

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #250 on: February 24, 2026, 01:42:55 AM »
Day 253

Yesterday I got the kids on the bus for school, hit the gym, and then took my usual nap before work. Let me tell you — I had the most vivid cave dream I’ve had yet. By far the most realistic one.

Out of nowhere in the dream, I’m standing in my bedroom with a wad of Copenhagen in my lip. Instant panic. My brain is racing because I have no idea how it got there. I didn’t remember putting a dip in — at least I couldn’t remember doing it. That feeling of losing control was terrifying.

I ran to the bathroom and spit it into the garbage can. Then I went to turn on the sink… and the pipes were frozen again. I walked downstairs thinking; this has got to be a dream. There’s no way this is real life right now. The disappointment I felt was unreal. I was crushed.

I even pinched my arm a few times to check if I was dreaming, but nothing registered. It all felt completely real. I was in full panic mode — sweating, spiraling, a total mess.

Then suddenly, I woke up.

I was in my bed. Dip-free. But absolutely soaked in sweat.

For a second I thought that bitch had me. But she’s going to have to try a hell of a lot harder than that.

Stay strong, everyone. The mind plays tricks, but we’re stronger.
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026

Offline DWEIRICK

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Re: First Week
« Reply #249 on: February 22, 2026, 03:25:21 PM »
Day 251

Went to the hospital to see my Pops yesterday and he looked good.  He got really lucky — they only had to remove one toe instead of his entire foot. We sat and talked for a while, and he told me he hasn’t had any chew since last Saturday. I told him that’s awesome and sent him the link to this group, hoping maybe this is the time it sticks.

If I’m being honest though, I’m not super confident. I worry that as soon as he’s discharged he’ll stop at the local store and grab pouches again. At the end of the day, I know it has to be 110% his choice. I can’t lose sleep over it, but I can keep encouraging him and hope he sees that quitting could give him more time and a better quality of life.

I love my dad. He’s been an absolute rock for me through some of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. The thought of losing him to cancer because he couldn’t beat this addiction would break me.

My quit is solid and my focus is strong — but I’d be lying if I said I’m not worried about him and his future. Time is precious… and the older I get, the more that really hits.
OPEN ROLL CALL

"The past is only useful as a learning experience...  Doing the right thing today is what matters." 30yraddict

"Caving is never accidental — it's deliberate."

HOF Speech

Quit Date: 6-17-2025, HOF ~ 9-24-2025, 2nd Floor ~ 1-2-2026, 3rd Floor ~ 4-12-2026