Diesel's Intro Page

[bigj77707]

Useless observation....

Waiting in line to pay for gass. Lady being waited on says "two packs, Virginia slim menthols please". Clerk hands her her death sticks. Next guy in line takes a deep, fuck...I know I should stop this shit breath and says "3 packs Marlboro red shorts in a box please". The lady who was before him was still fumbling with her enormous purse and could see the same anquish on his face that I did and says, "look honey, we all gotta die of something, might as well have some fun and do what you like to do. Everything nowadays will kill ya".

Dude. Ate. That. Up.

Like it was a breath of fresh air to him, or a second wind , or almost VALIDATION that what he was doing was ok. Because he was not alone. He immediately felt better and they both walked out with huge smiles on their face.

I used to be like that. Looked for validation for an addiction I knew was bad. Found strength in numbers by hanging with my boys who drank, smoked, and would say shit like, "hey everyone has a vice" after I would ask them to not tell my wife or their wives if they were friends with mine.

Strength in numbers.

Well guess what, that shit works both ways. There's some SERIOUS ASS strength in numbers right here on this site. And they won't jack you off either. Won't lie to you and tell you some bullshit to make you both feel better. Because deep down...you knew. You knew you were doing wrong, I know I did. But when I'd get that ONE buddy who stroked that part of my brain into thinking "yeah, this ain't so bad" the realization that I was doing wrong, VANISHED. And I continued to kill myself and lie to my family with little care, because butt fuck Bobby was doing it too.

What a fucking crock.

Stick to this site boys and girls. You will get the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, will smack your shit like a god damn 2 X 4 across the face. But guess what...we need that, because this shit WILL control you, will empty your pockets, will make you a toothless liar, will strip you of time with family and loved ones, and will fucking KILL you....literally.

There is TRUE strength in numbers here. Not hollow ass bullshit validatuon for killing yourself and being a pussy ass slave to a can of weeds.

THIS is a place of champions. Fucking stay here, not only for yourself, but for others.

Sorry so long.

Diesel out.

so true...

[Diesel2112]

Useless observation....

Waiting in line to pay for gass. Lady being waited on says "two packs, Virginia slim menthols please". Clerk hands her her death sticks. Next guy in line takes a deep, fuck...I know I should stop this shit breath and says "3 packs Marlboro red shorts in a box please". The lady who was before him was still fumbling with her enormous purse and could see the same anquish on his face that I did and says, "look honey, we all gotta die of something, might as well have some fun and do what you like to do. Everything nowadays will kill ya".

Dude. Ate. That. Up.

Like it was a breath of fresh air to him, or a second wind , or almost VALIDATION that what he was doing was ok. Because he was not alone. He immediately felt better and they both walked out with huge smiles on their face.

I used to be like that. Looked for validation for an addiction I knew was bad. Found strength in numbers by hanging with my boys who drank, smoked, and would say shit like, "hey everyone has a vice" after I would ask them to not tell my wife or their wives if they were friends with mine.

Strength in numbers.

Well guess what, that shit works both ways. There's some SERIOUS ASS strength in numbers right here on this site. And they won't jack you off either. Won't lie to you and tell you some bullshit to make you both feel better. Because deep down...you knew. You knew you were doing wrong, I know I did. But when I'd get that ONE buddy who stroked that part of my brain into thinking "yeah, this ain't so bad" the realization that I was doing wrong, VANISHED. And I continued to kill myself and lie to my family with little care, because butt fuck Bobby was doing it too.

What a fucking crock.

Stick to this site boys and girls. You will get the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, will smack your shit like a god damn 2 X 4 across the face. But guess what...we need that, because this shit WILL control you, will empty your pockets, will make you a toothless liar, will strip you of time with family and loved ones, and will fucking KILL you....literally.

There is TRUE strength in numbers here. Not hollow ass bullshit validatuon for killing yourself and being a pussy ass slave to a can of weeds.

THIS is a place of champions. Fucking stay here, not only for yourself, but for others.

Sorry so long.

Diesel out.

[Diesel2112]

A few weeks back I decided to leave ktc.� I was scared shitless and decided the sight "just wasn't for me".� I was having a hard time feeling the brotherhood with "strangers" and when my physical health hit the wall and I started reading stories on here that scared me rather then helped me, I put ktc down and seeked medical help.

As I told Wedgie,� who has been awesome for keeping me on his text list even though I left Ktc, I approached this all wrong.

I lined up to run this marathon like everyone else but when they shot the gun to start the race I started SPRINTING even though I had been warned "slow down kid".� Well as everyone knows you cant sprint an entire marathon,� especially this one because there really is no finish line,� and I hit the wall, HARD!!!

I woke up one morning damn near paralyzed with anxiety so burning in my chest I could not move, and I did not want to move either.� I did get up and went on this sight and started reading...guys 200 days quit feel like its the first week sometimes?� You can get sores in your mouth after you quit? When will I get mine?� Guys are caving after only a few days?�  Guys 1,000 days quit still get craves?� This shit scared me even more and I freaked.� I knew being quit wasn't gonna be lollipops and roses but damn...this really overwhelmed me and at that point I decided to see a psychiatrist and a substance abuse councelor.

I'm not gonna lie.� Talking to them one on one really helped and my psychiatrist prescribed me some meds for my anxiety which really helped.� I did not cave durring this time and I did not go for any nicotene replacement stuff, I'm still quit 31 days now.

Thing is I realized that as helpful as these professionals were, they had never gone through what I was going through and that's when I found myself back here reading stuff and found it more helpful since I wasn't so scared.�

I got busted by Wedgie of course as he saw me on here.� He suggested maybe I come back but there would be no guarantee my quit group would take me back,� which I totally understand.

So,� as I told Wedgie I would at least come on here and apologize and speak the Gods honest truth as to why I left,� and to why I came back.

I am truly sorry for bailing on my Sept quit group.� It was a weak move made out of panic and fear but a move I honsetly thought best at the time.� Not sure this apology will be accepted or even if it should be but it's something I wanted to get off my chest.� If I would be welcomed to post roll again I would but it not I understand.�

Regards,�
Diesel2112 Craig M.

As far as I'm concerned..post up and come on back.. I am sure you are going to catch some shit some from somebody? Just remember it's one day at a time and your experience don't necessarily have to be like someone else's experience.. Do not make something happen that is not suppose to happen.. Our minds are so very powerful... so powerful that after the nicotine is completely out of our body.. (3 days to 2 weeks).. we still have cravings! The reason I wanted to stop - I wanted a better life.. If I am still imprisoned by anything including depression, it's not a better life.. congrats for making an extra effort, getting the outside help that you need.. a lot of folks around here should not try to address serious mental health issues.. we need to only give our advice and experience in quitting nic - thats why we are here! I'm 23 days today and I quit with you Bro! Gooch

I am not in September, but I will say this - if you are nicotine free you can post roll in your group. The only rule I am aware of is no nicotine.

I think your story can help a LOT of quitters, and while you may get given a raft of shit from some, in the end you are doing the same thing they are - quitting. Lots of quitters have sought medical help (for better or worse) and lots of quitters need medical help (or mental help).

By all means, so long as you are nicotine free, post roll. Make sure you have a bit of thick skin though.

Learn from your mistakes.
Quit for today.
Fuck the future.

You got lucky this time and caught yourself.

Be careful.

EDIT: Go post roll now please.

Go post roll now! P.m. me I'll tell you some anxiety stories and depression stories I understand completely. just remember post every day early make that promise and keep it that's all you have to do it's as simple as that

Good job Wedgie keep listening to him he's the man

I kept track of him, kept nudging him back around. :D

Nice work Wedgie and welcome back Diesel.

Whoa...did my shit go haywire or are you pulling stuff from WAY BACK (in my mind anyway), TSNUS? Damn what a PUSSY I was.

Fucking Wedgie...guess I owe the guy a reach around or something...my life possibly. LOL.

Funny how life works sometimes. Dudes you never even met can impact it more than those you've known your entire life.

If it weren't for Wedge and KTC, I'd probably be chin deep in a tin right now, missing out on the best years of mine and my kids life.

What a dick I WAS.

Fuck it. The past is the past. No time to dwell on it. Time to get on with life. It doesn't stop why you try to fix yourself, it just keep flying by like a windshield towards a fly.

[TSNUS]

A few weeks back I decided to leave ktc.� I was scared shitless and decided the sight "just wasn't for me".� I was having a hard time feeling the brotherhood with "strangers" and when my physical health hit the wall and I started reading stories on here that scared me rather then helped me, I put ktc down and seeked medical help.

As I told Wedgie,� who has been awesome for keeping me on his text list even though I left Ktc, I approached this all wrong.

I lined up to run this marathon like everyone else but when they shot the gun to start the race I started SPRINTING even though I had been warned "slow down kid".� Well as everyone knows you cant sprint an entire marathon,� especially this one because there really is no finish line,� and I hit the wall, HARD!!!

I woke up one morning damn near paralyzed with anxiety so burning in my chest I could not move, and I did not want to move either.� I did get up and went on this sight and started reading...guys 200 days quit feel like its the first week sometimes?� You can get sores in your mouth after you quit? When will I get mine?� Guys are caving after only a few days?�  Guys 1,000 days quit still get craves?� This shit scared me even more and I freaked.� I knew being quit wasn't gonna be lollipops and roses but damn...this really overwhelmed me and at that point I decided to see a psychiatrist and a substance abuse councelor.

I'm not gonna lie.� Talking to them one on one really helped and my psychiatrist prescribed me some meds for my anxiety which really helped.� I did not cave durring this time and I did not go for any nicotene replacement stuff, I'm still quit 31 days now.

Thing is I realized that as helpful as these professionals were, they had never gone through what I was going through and that's when I found myself back here reading stuff and found it more helpful since I wasn't so scared.�

I got busted by Wedgie of course as he saw me on here.� He suggested maybe I come back but there would be no guarantee my quit group would take me back,� which I totally understand.

So,� as I told Wedgie I would at least come on here and apologize and speak the Gods honest truth as to why I left,� and to why I came back.

I am truly sorry for bailing on my Sept quit group.� It was a weak move made out of panic and fear but a move I honsetly thought best at the time.� Not sure this apology will be accepted or even if it should be but it's something I wanted to get off my chest.� If I would be welcomed to post roll again I would but it not I understand.�

Regards,�
Diesel2112 Craig M.

As far as I'm concerned..post up and come on back.. I am sure you are going to catch some shit some from somebody? Just remember it's one day at a time and your experience don't necessarily have to be like someone else's experience.. Do not make something happen that is not suppose to happen.. Our minds are so very powerful... so powerful that after the nicotine is completely out of our body.. (3 days to 2 weeks).. we still have cravings! The reason I wanted to stop - I wanted a better life.. If I am still imprisoned by anything including depression, it's not a better life.. congrats for making an extra effort, getting the outside help that you need.. a lot of folks around here should not try to address serious mental health issues.. we need to only give our advice and experience in quitting nic - thats why we are here! I'm 23 days today and I quit with you Bro! Gooch

I am not in September, but I will say this - if you are nicotine free you can post roll in your group. The only rule I am aware of is no nicotine.

I think your story can help a LOT of quitters, and while you may get given a raft of shit from some, in the end you are doing the same thing they are - quitting. Lots of quitters have sought medical help (for better or worse) and lots of quitters need medical help (or mental help).

By all means, so long as you are nicotine free, post roll. Make sure you have a bit of thick skin though.

Learn from your mistakes.
Quit for today.
Fuck the future.

You got lucky this time and caught yourself.

Be careful.

EDIT: Go post roll now please.

Go post roll now! P.m. me I'll tell you some anxiety stories and depression stories I understand completely. just remember post every day early make that promise and keep it that's all you have to do it's as simple as that

Good job Wedgie keep listening to him he's the man

I kept track of him, kept nudging him back around. :D

Nice work Wedgie and welcome back Diesel.

[wastepanel]

Cheesy story time...

FINALLY got some nice weather here in Michigan so I was outside playing catch with my 7yr old daughter and 10 year old son.

The kid next door (about 12) and his sisters boyfriend (about 19 yrs old) were playing too.  I was watching and noticed the 19 yr old had a damn hockey puck in mouth and kept dropping 3 foot strings of slime all over their yard.  Nasty fuck.

For some reason though I had this fleeting feeling of envy as my mind was trying to convince me I used to really enjoy warm weather, sports, and a lip full. 

As I stood half starring and half in a daze the dude across the street stops in his truck, rolls down the window and says, "enjoy it".  I'm like "whaaaat".  He says, serious as a mother fucker, "enjoy every second on this because before you know it they will be in college and you'll hardly see them".  (His 3 daughters are all in college).

At first I was like, "whatever dickweed" but then I looked at my son who was showing his sister how to hold her mit, and it hit me....like a Mack fucking truck.

I am doing the right thing. 

Every time I put that shit in my lip I jeopardized time spent with the two must precious things in my life.  It made me a selfish piece of shit and bad father.

I'm neither of those things.

I'm doing right...every person on this site is too, for varying reasons.  Not just for kids.

Remember that, and be proud.  I think its something that gets lost in the process sometimes.

Stay quit .

Totally Awesome!
Made my day Diesel!

I'm gonna add my second to the guy in the truck and congratulate you for doing the right thing. I avoided the right thing till it was too late for my daughter. Now I'm making it up by spending the time with her kids. Funny my relationship with my daughter and her hubby is enjoyable also. We can't get lost time and activities back or change the past, but today is possible. Live life for today! I may sound cheesy but as a old bastard live today like there is no tomorrow, there may not be.

Slow clap.

We ain't missing shit.

We're free.

[Wt57]

Cheesy story time...

FINALLY got some nice weather here in Michigan so I was outside playing catch with my 7yr old daughter and 10 year old son.

The kid next door (about 12) and his sisters boyfriend (about 19 yrs old) were playing too.  I was watching and noticed the 19 yr old had a damn hockey puck in mouth and kept dropping 3 foot strings of slime all over their yard.  Nasty fuck.

For some reason though I had this fleeting feeling of envy as my mind was trying to convince me I used to really enjoy warm weather, sports, and a lip full. 

As I stood half starring and half in a daze the dude across the street stops in his truck, rolls down the window and says, "enjoy it".  I'm like "whaaaat".  He says, serious as a mother fucker, "enjoy every second on this because before you know it they will be in college and you'll hardly see them".  (His 3 daughters are all in college).

At first I was like, "whatever dickweed" but then I looked at my son who was showing his sister how to hold her mit, and it hit me....like a Mack fucking truck.

I am doing the right thing. 

Every time I put that shit in my lip I jeopardized time spent with the two must precious things in my life.  It made me a selfish piece of shit and bad father.

I'm neither of those things.

I'm doing right...every person on this site is too, for varying reasons.  Not just for kids.

Remember that, and be proud.  I think its something that gets lost in the process sometimes.

Stay quit .

Totally Awesome!
Made my day Diesel!

I'm gonna add my second to the guy in the truck and congratulate you for doing the right thing. I avoided the right thing till it was too late for my daughter. Now I'm making it up by spending the time with her kids. Funny my relationship with my daughter and her hubby is enjoyable also. We can't get lost time and activities back or change the past, but today is possible. Live life for today! I may sound cheesy but as a old bastard live today like there is no tomorrow, there may not be.

[30isEnuff]

Cheesy story time...

FINALLY got some nice weather here in Michigan so I was outside playing catch with my 7yr old daughter and 10 year old son.

The kid next door (about 12) and his sisters boyfriend (about 19 yrs old) were playing too. I was watching and noticed the 19 yr old had a damn hockey puck in mouth and kept dropping 3 foot strings of slime all over their yard. Nasty fuck.

For some reason though I had this fleeting feeling of envy as my mind was trying to convince me I used to really enjoy warm weather, sports, and a lip full.

As I stood half starring and half in a daze the dude across the street stops in his truck, rolls down the window and says, "enjoy it". I'm like "whaaaat". He says, serious as a mother fucker, "enjoy every second on this because before you know it they will be in college and you'll hardly see them". (His 3 daughters are all in college).

At first I was like, "whatever dickweed" but then I looked at my son who was showing his sister how to hold her mit, and it hit me....like a Mack fucking truck.

I am doing the right thing.

Every time I put that shit in my lip I jeopardized time spent with the two must precious things in my life. It made me a selfish piece of shit and bad father.

I'm neither of those things.

I'm doing right...every person on this site is too, for varying reasons. Not just for kids.

Remember that, and be proud. I think its something that gets lost in the process sometimes.

Stay quit .

Totally Awesome!
Made my day Diesel!

[Radman]

Cheesy story time...

FINALLY got some nice weather here in Michigan so I was outside playing catch with my 7yr old daughter and 10 year old son.

The kid next door (about 12) and his sisters boyfriend (about 19 yrs old) were playing too. I was watching and noticed the 19 yr old had a damn hockey puck in mouth and kept dropping 3 foot strings of slime all over their yard. Nasty fuck.

For some reason though I had this fleeting feeling of envy as my mind was trying to convince me I used to really enjoy warm weather, sports, and a lip full.

As I stood half starring and half in a daze the dude across the street stops in his truck, rolls down the window and says, "enjoy it". I'm like "whaaaat". He says, serious as a mother fucker, "enjoy every second on this because before you know it they will be in college and you'll hardly see them". (His 3 daughters are all in college).

At first I was like, "whatever dickweed" but then I looked at my son who was showing his sister how to hold her mit, and it hit me....like a Mack fucking truck.

I am doing the right thing.

Every time I put that shit in my lip I jeopardized time spent with the two must precious things in my life. It made me a selfish piece of shit and bad father.

I'm neither of those things.

I'm doing right...every person on this site is too, for varying reasons. Not just for kids.

Remember that, and be proud. I think its something that gets lost in the process sometimes.

Stay quit .

Absolute spot-on, Diesel!

Cheesy? No.

Badass? Yes.

[Diesel2112]

Cheesy story time...

FINALLY got some nice weather here in Michigan so I was outside playing catch with my 7yr old daughter and 10 year old son.

The kid next door (about 12) and his sisters boyfriend (about 19 yrs old) were playing too. I was watching and noticed the 19 yr old had a damn hockey puck in mouth and kept dropping 3 foot strings of slime all over their yard. Nasty fuck.

For some reason though I had this fleeting feeling of envy as my mind was trying to convince me I used to really enjoy warm weather, sports, and a lip full.

As I stood half starring and half in a daze the dude across the street stops in his truck, rolls down the window and says, "enjoy it". I'm like "whaaaat". He says, serious as a mother fucker, "enjoy every second on this because before you know it they will be in college and you'll hardly see them".  (His 3 daughters are all in college).

At first I was like, "whatever dickweed" but then I looked at my son who was showing his sister how to hold her mit, and it hit me....like a Mack fucking truck.

I am doing the right thing.

Every time I put that shit in my lip I jeopardized time spent with the two must precious things in my life. It made me a selfish piece of shit and bad father.

I'm neither of those things.

I'm doing right...every person on this site is too, for varying reasons. Not just for kids.

Remember that, and be proud. I think its something that gets lost in the process sometimes.

Stay quit .

[30isEnuff]

Saw a commercial for an e-cig the other day.  Some dick hole, who I guess is "famous"???  Walking down the beach like a tool talking about how we are all adults, yada yada yada...then the fuck face says:

"Its time to take your freedom back"

What?

Yeah asshole, why don't you then by NOT continuing to be a slave to nicotine.

Wanted to reach through my tv and bitch slap that ass hat.

I love how people THINK they just HAVE to use nicotine, and fight over which delivery system is the best.

Cig smokers rip pipe smokers, dippers rip smokers, snus people rip dippers, e cig people rip dippers and smokers, patch/gum/lozenges people rip smokers, dippers, snus heads, and e cig users.  Its a complete IDIOT circle jerk.

Just fucking stop using the shit.  How about that?  Any of you fuck heads ever consider that?

NOBODY needs that shit and it can only do bad things to you.  Sick of these nicotine peddling BUMS!

Just fucking QUIT!

That's it, I'm done.

Ditto.

I'm the Zoning Officer in my town, and because it's retail, had to authorize a Business Use Permit (Business License) for a new small store moving in called "Liberty Vapor Phoenixville." On the application it states in the "Nature of your Business:"
Display and sell different types of electronic cigarette products. These are a new alternative to eliminate smoking. We will inform and sell products to provide a 'smoke-free' lifestyle."

How ironic, the words "liberty" and "vapor" in the same store name.

I have to sign a Business Use Permit for our very own nicotine peddler.

Fuck.

I am done today with Diesel2112! 'bang head'

[Boelker62]

Saw a commercial for an e-cig the other day. Some dick hole, who I guess is "famous"??? Walking down the beach like a tool talking about how we are all adults, yada yada yada...then the fuck face says:

"Its time to take your freedom back"

What?

Yeah asshole, why don't you then by NOT continuing to be a slave to nicotine.

Wanted to reach through my tv and bitch slap that ass hat.

I love how people THINK they just HAVE to use nicotine, and fight over which delivery system is the best.

Cig smokers rip pipe smokers, dippers rip smokers, snus people rip dippers, e cig people rip dippers and smokers, patch/gum/lozenges people rip smokers, dippers, snus heads, and e cig users. Its a complete IDIOT circle jerk.

Just fucking stop using the shit. How about that? Any of you fuck heads ever consider that?

NOBODY needs that shit and it can only do bad things to you. Sick of these nicotine peddling BUMS!

Just fucking QUIT!

That's it, I'm done.

Ditto.

I'm the Zoning Officer in my town, and because it's retail, had to authorize a Business Use Permit (Business License) for a new small store moving in called "Liberty Vapor Phoenixville." On the application it states in the "Nature of your Business:"
Display and sell different types of electronic cigarette products. These are a new alternative to eliminate smoking. We will inform and sell products to provide a 'smoke-free' lifestyle."

How ironic, the words "liberty" and "vapor" in the same store name.

I have to sign a Business Use Permit for our very own nicotine peddler.

Fuck.

[Diesel2112]

Saw a commercial for an e-cig the other day. Some dick hole, who I guess is "famous"??? Walking down the beach like a tool talking about how we are all adults, yada yada yada...then the fuck face says:

"Its time to take your freedom back"

What?

Yeah asshole, why don't you then by NOT continuing to be a slave to nicotine.

Wanted to reach through my tv and bitch slap that ass hat.

I love how people THINK they just HAVE to use nicotine, and fight over which delivery system is the best.

Cig smokers rip pipe smokers, dippers rip smokers, snus people rip dippers, e cig people rip dippers and smokers, patch/gum/lozenges people rip smokers, dippers, snus heads, and e cig users. Its a complete IDIOT circle jerk.

Just fucking stop using the shit. How about that? Any of you fuck heads ever consider that?

NOBODY needs that shit and it can only do bad things to you. Sick of these nicotine peddling BUMS!

Just fucking QUIT!

That's it, I'm done.

[Diesel2112]

Diesel - How did that extraction go?  Hopefully your not to sore!  If you are shove a cucumber up your ass and you won't think about that tooth at all.  Just remember no to suck anything to hard cause that will cause dry socket too.  All kidding aside I hope your feeling ok!

^^^^^ when he feels better cant wait to see this reply. 'Popcorn'

Diesel is STRONG. Hurt for awhile. But I'm up and at em. Little league practice at 5:30. I'm. There.

[kkljinc]

Diesel - How did that extraction go? Hopefully your not to sore! If you are shove a cucumber up your ass and you won't think about that tooth at all. Just remember no to suck anything to hard cause that will cause dry socket too. All kidding aside I hope your feeling ok!

^^^^^ when he feels better cant wait to see this reply. 'Popcorn'

[bleeckerdogs]

Diesel - How did that extraction go? Hopefully your not to sore! If you are shove a cucumber up your ass and you won't think about that tooth at all. Just remember no to suck anything to hard cause that will cause dry socket too. All kidding aside I hope your feeling ok!