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Offline Wt57

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #200 on: September 10, 2012, 10:52:00 PM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Hours from the HOF (I cant fucking believe it) and i keep worrying i will be tested greatly on my "big day." Early flight to Chicago tomorrow to work a trade show for two days. Have done the show many times but never without dip. Been nervous but kept wondering today, why? Not afraid to work the show, not nervous talk to the Ceo and other corporate big wigs, a little afraid to fly (on 9/11 especially), but never dipped on a plane. So what the fuck am I nervous about...not going back to my hotel room and filing my lip full of posion shit? BINGO

Well fuck you nic whore. I've gone 100 days without your skank ass not all easy but I'm kinda Rollin right now. No fucking way are you gonna fuck with my hof day. Go fuck yourself bitch.
I do not need you...never did. I will cunt punch your putrid sausage wallet all while in Chicago and return home a FUCKING CHAMP with laser like focus on the 2nd floor. Fuck you bitch!
Diesel you have all the tools your journey has been exemptulary. You fought a very rough battle early on and won day by day now you can continue to use the tools from your past victories to win each today! Congratulation on a wonderful fight!
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4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
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TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #199 on: September 10, 2012, 10:29:00 PM »
Hours from the HOF (I cant fucking believe it) and i keep worrying i will be tested greatly on my "big day." Early flight to Chicago tomorrow to work a trade show for two days. Have done the show many times but never without dip. Been nervous but kept wondering today, why? Not afraid to work the show, not nervous talk to the Ceo and other corporate big wigs, a little afraid to fly (on 9/11 especially), but never dipped on a plane. So what the fuck am I nervous about...not going back to my hotel room and filing my lip full of posion shit? BINGO

Well fuck you nic whore. I've gone 100 days without your skank ass not all easy but I'm kinda Rollin right now. No fucking way are you gonna fuck with my hof day. Go fuck yourself bitch.
I do not need you...never did. I will cunt punch your putrid sausage wallet all while in Chicago and return home a FUCKING CHAMP with laser like focus on the 2nd floor. Fuck you bitch!
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Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
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6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
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19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline eric71

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #198 on: August 28, 2012, 04:57:00 AM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Treadmill like quit.

Just got back from the gym. DID NOT FEEL LIKE GOING. But...I dragged my blubber ass of the couch and said to myself "just half ass it on the treadmill for 45 minutes and come home".

That's the attitude I entered the gym with and the attitude I started "running" with. I kept looking at the timer...."fuck, only 3 minutes have gone by???" Look down again "I still have 30 minutes left on this fucking thing??!! Maybe ill just do 20 mins and call it good, its better then nothing. I didn't want to come here anyway".

Then...I told myself, "asshole, you are staying on this thing for 45 minutes if it kills you". I then dialed up the pace, cranked up my ipod, and started looking around. I started watching a pretty good baseball game on the tv, Tex vs TB I believe. Then I started noticing this guy in a super tight shirt constantly flexing and admiring himself in the mirror, that made me laugh. Then I looked to my left and 2 stationery bikes down there was a SUPER HOT chick peddling away with super short shorts on. I kept trying to catch a nice beave shot and then let my imagination run wild "with her", if you know what I mean. I observed a few other things as well. Next thing I know. "Beep beep beep, begin cool down stage".

The 45 mins was over in what seemed like 10 minutes. Then I realized my quit should be more like that. Instead of constantly "watching the clock" waiting for things to get better and obsessing, I need to take a step back and enjoy the ride a little more.

I cant run 45 minutes on the treadmill in 5 minutes, especially with a shit attitude and constant clock watching. Those 45 minutes will crawl by and my frustration will go through the roof. I know its easier said than done but a healthy diversion from an unwanted task can go along way to making that seemingly impossible task not so impossible. I find this especially true the later I go in my quit when I might hit a funk or take a step backwards. I know quitting is a huge part of my life but there is much more going on in this world than the obsessing that sometimes goes on between my ears.

Anyway, just a thought I had...have a good night all.

-Diesel
Digging it with a 2 handed QLF shovel
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Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #197 on: August 27, 2012, 11:19:00 PM »
Treadmill like quit.

Just got back from the gym. DID NOT FEEL LIKE GOING. But...I dragged my blubber ass of the couch and said to myself "just half ass it on the treadmill for 45 minutes and come home".

That's the attitude I entered the gym with and the attitude I started "running" with. I kept looking at the timer...."fuck, only 3 minutes have gone by???" Look down again "I still have 30 minutes left on this fucking thing??!! Maybe ill just do 20 mins and call it good, its better then nothing. I didn't want to come here anyway".

Then...I told myself, "asshole, you are staying on this thing for 45 minutes if it kills you". I then dialed up the pace, cranked up my ipod, and started looking around. I started watching a pretty good baseball game on the tv, Tex vs TB I believe. Then I started noticing this guy in a super tight shirt constantly flexing and admiring himself in the mirror, that made me laugh. Then I looked to my left and 2 stationery bikes down there was a SUPER HOT chick peddling away with super short shorts on. I kept trying to catch a nice beave shot and then let my imagination run wild "with her", if you know what I mean. I observed a few other things as well. Next thing I know. "Beep beep beep, begin cool down stage".

The 45 mins was over in what seemed like 10 minutes. Then I realized my quit should be more like that. Instead of constantly "watching the clock" waiting for things to get better and obsessing, I need to take a step back and enjoy the ride a little more.

I cant run 45 minutes on the treadmill in 5 minutes, especially with a shit attitude and constant clock watching. Those 45 minutes will crawl by and my frustration will go through the roof. I know its easier said than done but a healthy diversion from an unwanted task can go along way to making that seemingly impossible task not so impossible. I find this especially true the later I go in my quit when I might hit a funk or take a step backwards. I know quitting is a huge part of my life but there is much more going on in this world than the obsessing that sometimes goes on between my ears.

Anyway, just a thought I had...have a good night all.

-Diesel
Logged
Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #196 on: August 26, 2012, 11:02:00 PM »
Nice diesel, and your on track. A quitter once said , don't crave more dip crave more life. It isn't going to be always easy, but I promise it is always worth it. Today you got a little taste of freedom. Drink deep my friend , it only gets better from here on in.
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"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #195 on: August 26, 2012, 10:16:00 PM »
Thanks guys but I ain't nothing special. Just someone bound and determined to take my life back from a horrible addiction, like most on this site. I cringe at some of the shit I did to put the can ahead of my family. I literally get sick thinking about it. I cry though knowing that I came clean about all of it to my wife and she not only lovingly forgave she has been my biggest supporter through this pain in the ass process.

I'm not one of those perfect guys who say they have no regrets in life, because I do. Obviously I wouldn't trade my wife and kids for anything in the world but I'm not too proud to say I wouldn't have done things a little different along the way, and this has nothing to do with dip, more of the "little things" going back to grade school thru college, a time when I didn't even dip.

I will say that my BIGGEST regret in life will be going back to killing myself with posionous weeds in a can. Never again fellas. No matter what tricks my brain/body play on me. Never again for any reason. I was a Dick for 15 yrs...that's 15 yrs too long in my book. I'm 38 yrs old, time to grow the fuck up! My quit hasn't been perfect by any means, but ill be God dammed if I'm giving up. Ill watch "Ice Age" 1,000,000,000 times if I have to.
Logged
Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline Morgan1

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #194 on: August 26, 2012, 08:54:00 PM »
Quote from: Wt57
Quote from: Diesel2112
Had fun with the family at lunch and at jeepers, but the movie...I never did like kids movies.  I thought "Ice Age" would never end.  But it did and I made it just fine...I gotta call it progress?

It did feel great to do stuff as a family instead of laying on the couch all day dipping inbetween falling asleep like a lazy fuck and then jumping up to hide my shit every time I thought I heard a car pull in the driveway.  What a piece if shit I was.  Can before family...never again!!!
I love that diesel! Not having to worry about hearing someone coming is so good! Just shared that with my wife this week when she came into the shop without me hearing her!
Fuckin A Diesel. You my friend are on the right path. Sacrificing time with your family so that you can cram your face with poison laced with glass shards is GD pathetic. You are not that person anymore. This is another monstrous step in your quit. I am happy for you even if you didn't like Ice Age. HAHAHA. I quit with you all day every day.
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I have control over my quit. There's no luck involved. - Diesel2112


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Offline Wt57

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #193 on: August 26, 2012, 08:50:00 PM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Had fun with the family at lunch and at jeepers, but the movie...I never did like kids movies. I thought "Ice Age" would never end. But it did and I made it just fine...I gotta call it progress?

It did feel great to do stuff as a family instead of laying on the couch all day dipping inbetween falling asleep like a lazy fuck and then jumping up to hide my shit every time I thought I heard a car pull in the driveway. What a piece if shit I was. Can before family...never again!!!
I love that diesel! Not having to worry about hearing someone coming is so good! Just shared that with my wife this week when she came into the shop without me hearing her!
Logged
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #192 on: August 26, 2012, 06:54:00 PM »
Had fun with the family at lunch and at jeepers, but the movie...I never did like kids movies. I thought "Ice Age" would never end. But it did and I made it just fine...I gotta call it progress?

It did feel great to do stuff as a family instead of laying on the couch all day dipping inbetween falling asleep like a lazy fuck and then jumping up to hide my shit every time I thought I heard a car pull in the driveway. What a piece if shit I was. Can before family...never again!!!
Logged
Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline jonruns

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #191 on: August 26, 2012, 01:11:00 PM »
Diesel - YOu rock man. Proud to be quit with you. Have fun with the fam!
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Offline kstampfly

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #190 on: August 26, 2012, 11:48:00 AM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
For yrs as a treat my wife would take the kids to rainforest care for lunch, then a movie, then to some jeepers place for kids and then God knows where else. They all loved it!!!

Where was Dad everytime? At home on the couch ninja dipping like a fool. Well guess fucking what? Today I am going with them. Dip or no dip I'm not sure this is all my cup of tea but God Damn it I'm gonna give it a shot. My kids are thrilled. Dads actually going. Gotta admit I'm a bit nervous but I think I can do this!!!!!
Bad Ass Diesel. It will be fun because you will be with your family minus the dip can!! 'Cheers'
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HOF Date:  20 June 2022

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #189 on: August 26, 2012, 11:25:00 AM »
For yrs as a treat my wife would take the kids to rainforest care for lunch, then a movie, then to some jeepers place for kids and then God knows where else. They all loved it!!!

Where was Dad everytime? At home on the couch ninja dipping like a fool. Well guess fucking what? Today I am going with them. Dip or no dip I'm not sure this is all my cup of tea but God Damn it I'm gonna give it a shot. My kids are thrilled. Dads actually going. Gotta admit I'm a bit nervous but I think I can do this!!!!!
Logged
Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline Wt57

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #188 on: August 23, 2012, 02:09:00 PM »
Quote from: tinman
Quote from: Diesel2112
Thanks fellas. I needed the motivation.  Just fucking HATE when I KNOW I don't need the shit and for 15 yrs it made me a liar,  a bad father a shitty husband and and overall lazy piece of shit.  And oh yeah was slowly killing me.

Yet despite knowing all that,  there still is that little voice that pops up from time to time that says "come on bro that funeral was tough you deserve a dip to chill" or "man this long drive would be a lot better with just one little lipper". Etc.... And when that shit happens my anxiety spikes to a point to where it can overwhelm my medication,  causing me greater frustration.

I know that's total bullshit and last week I said FUCK YOU before those thoughts could even arise but the past few days the thoughts are fucking with me and I'm not so easily squashing them.

You guys are right though...80 days is something to be proud of and id be a dick hole to give in after everything ive gone through these past 80 days.  So once again FUCK YOU, YOU NIC BITCH WHORE!!!!  80 days and you're still trying and playing mind games with me.  Well FUCK YOU I will not cave and will continue to beat your whore ass no matter what tricks you play.

I felt like a million bucks last week....that's PROOF I can whip your ass.  You might be jabbing me right now but you will never knock me out.  I will always fight back and land multiple cunt punches until I feel like a million bucks again.  FUCK YOU!!!!!!
Diesel - thanks for your posts!! Your strength is contagious, believe me.

I have been 'fogging' in and out myself for some reason and looking forward to it ending, without chew of course.....

Fucked up funny story from two days ago....I have been having difficulties at work, dealing w quitting chew, and stressing about physically feeling like a slob from gaining weight from quitting-so left me get back in shape...get this - I wake up at 4am tuesday to get to the gym before work - tired as shit, I back my truck out of the driveway (with my heavy foot of course)....I don't hit the brakes until after my truck starts crunching and shaking as I rub off the driver's side of my wife's SUV........shit all over the driveway....

What an asshole, and I thought to myself....fuck you nic bitch...don't even start w me....I calmly, put the truck in drive, reversed back out of the driveway, went to the gym and called my wife afterwards.......I am living the dream!! Thankfully, without chew..... 'bang head'
Tinman and Diesel you are both awesome and these are the real life experiences that strengthen me!!
Logged
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline tinman

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #187 on: August 23, 2012, 01:37:00 PM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Thanks fellas. I needed the motivation. Just fucking HATE when I KNOW I don't need the shit and for 15 yrs it made me a liar, a bad father a shitty husband and and overall lazy piece of shit. And oh yeah was slowly killing me.

Yet despite knowing all that, there still is that little voice that pops up from time to time that says "come on bro that funeral was tough you deserve a dip to chill" or "man this long drive would be a lot better with just one little lipper". Etc.... And when that shit happens my anxiety spikes to a point to where it can overwhelm my medication, causing me greater frustration.

I know that's total bullshit and last week I said FUCK YOU before those thoughts could even arise but the past few days the thoughts are fucking with me and I'm not so easily squashing them.

You guys are right though...80 days is something to be proud of and id be a dick hole to give in after everything ive gone through these past 80 days. So once again FUCK YOU, YOU NIC BITCH WHORE!!!! 80 days and you're still trying and playing mind games with me. Well FUCK YOU I will not cave and will continue to beat your whore ass no matter what tricks you play.

I felt like a million bucks last week....that's PROOF I can whip your ass. You might be jabbing me right now but you will never knock me out. I will always fight back and land multiple cunt punches until I feel like a million bucks again. FUCK YOU!!!!!!
Diesel - thanks for your posts!! Your strength is contagious, believe me.

I have been 'fogging' in and out myself for some reason and looking forward to it ending, without chew of course.....

Fucked up funny story from two days ago....I have been having difficulties at work, dealing w quitting chew, and stressing about physically feeling like a slob from gaining weight from quitting-so left me get back in shape...get this - I wake up at 4am tuesday to get to the gym before work - tired as shit, I back my truck out of the driveway (with my heavy foot of course)....I don't hit the brakes until after my truck starts crunching and shaking as I rub off the driver's side of my wife's SUV........shit all over the driveway....

What an asshole, and I thought to myself....fuck you nic bitch...don't even start w me....I calmly, put the truck in drive, reversed back out of the driveway, went to the gym and called my wife afterwards.......I am living the dream!! Thankfully, without chew..... 'bang head'
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Offline rgross298

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Re: Diesel's Intro Page
« Reply #186 on: August 23, 2012, 08:47:00 AM »
Quote from: Eric71
Quote from: Diesel2112
Thanks fellas. I needed the motivation.  Just fucking HATE when I KNOW I don't need the shit and for 15 yrs it made me a liar,  a bad father a shitty husband and and overall lazy piece of shit.  And oh yeah was slowly killing me.

Yet despite knowing all that,  there still is that little voice that pops up from time to time that says "come on bro that funeral was tough you deserve a dip to chill" or "man this long drive would be a lot better with just one little lipper". Etc.... And when that shit happens my anxiety spikes to a point to where it can overwhelm my medication,  causing me greater frustration.

I know that's total bullshit and last week I said FUCK YOU before those thoughts could even arise but the past few days the thoughts are fucking with me and I'm not so easily squashing them.

You guys are right though...80 days is something to be proud of and id be a dick hole to give in after everything ive gone through these past 80 days.  So once again FUCK YOU, YOU NIC BITCH WHORE!!!!  80 days and you're still trying and playing mind games with me.  Well FUCK YOU I will not cave and will continue to beat your whore ass no matter what tricks you play.

I felt like a million bucks last week....that's PROOF I can whip your ass.  You might be jabbing me right now but you will never knock me out.  I will always fight back and land multiple cunt punches until I feel like a million bucks again.  FUCK YOU!!!!!!
I was going through this funk earlier in the week, in the 50's, so I can relate. I posted some of the mental dialogue I was going through at the time on my intro. It kinda reads like a bipolar mindset and I think it's should. It's the battle of our conscience versus our addiction. You could insert any addiction there, it is always our conscious mind that battles for us. Don't know that I've got your #s, but, seeing how we are both in the push through phase, it wouldn't hurt to drive that road together. QLAFM
The 80's sucked for me as well. Not sure what the hell it was, but it was all psychological. I pretty much shut down and thought everyone on KTC were a bunch of tools. I was pretty much right about that :) but the clouds did open and the sun did come out, and holy shit it is nice here on the other side. I'm even more pissed at nicotine and UST for the 80's. FUCK tobacco. Get mad, bro.

I too get that inner voice once in a while telling me that it would be cool to have a lipper. However, the great thing is, a fireball, a stick of gum, or a pinch of Smokey Mountain shuts that shit right up (it really does), and I'm always gratified that I didn't CHOOSE to walk into a store, navigate a foreign clerk to a can of carcinogens, and throw away almost 200 days of hard-earned ass-kicking quit, not to mention the pride and respect of my brothers on here. I'm never going back. UST can lick my ass.

Stay strong and rock on, bro.
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