Random thought...
Day 187 and my quit seems to be going very smooth. Still some bumps, mainly when I tackle tasks I've never tackled dip free before but all in all in relation to "every day life", I find myself doing better and better.
As I drove for 4 hrs today I pondered why and came to the conclusion I am not using will power to quit anymore. In the early days will power was all I used. That's because you use will power when you think you are giving up something pleasurable.
Even though I knew that not chewing was the right move, I honestly believed I was giving something "good" up and it pissed me off and stressed me out...not being able to dip only added to this stress. It was a nightmare and a vicious cycle of frustration and only will power kept me quit.
I couldn't continue to be quit with will power alone, it would be torture and just too hard. I would either cave or TOTALLY flip out (my body had already mildly flopped out). It wasn't until I really started reading and educating myself on nicotine addictiont that I realized I wasn't giving up anything pleasurable, I was giving up something that was controlling my life and trying to kill me.
It was FEAR that I really needed to give up. Fear that nic gave me confidence, fear that nic made me sociable, fear that nic relaxed me, fear that nic made "things" better. That was all bullshit. Once I gave those fears up, I quit relying on will power to quit and realized I wasn't giving up a God Damn thing.
I read people with more days quit than me say that they still battle the nic bitch everyday. I don't believe that should be the case. Will every day be easy? Hell no, but I think those that are past the HOF and still fight nic daily are still using will power to quit. I think they need to fight their fears of quitting for things to get easier. I think winning that battle is the true way to freedom.
Again, these are just MY random thoughts. Thanks for reading and STAY QUIT!!'
Diesel2112