Struggling to continue

[Gromo]

DAY 98, Proud with you. Thanks for listening on the fishing trigger. I got so much positive feedback from all you guys, it's what this site does. I be prouder than hell to be at the gates as we both walk thru HOF door, 2nd floor, 3rd floor, 4th floor.....one day at a time.

96 with you brother, will always be chasing you. One day at a time, but I'll never be able to catch you.

[Doofus]

DAY 98, Proud with you. Thanks for listening on the fishing trigger. I got so much positive feedback from all you guys, it's what this site does. I be prouder than hell to be at the gates as we both walk thru HOF door, 2nd floor, 3rd floor, 4th floor.....one day at a time.

[Gromo]

It has been a little since I've done a true update. Honestly I've been busy between my wifes birthday and a stumach bug and work really picking up now that spring is here. As HoF draws nearer some days I get smacked in the face with a crave out of nowhere but usually... I feel good? the med's and the magnesium powder and the melissa pills seem to be working for my internal demons....It's almost weird to feel normal. Feeling good, feeling normal actually made me question the normality of my normalness, lol. I thought something was wrong because nothing was wrong for the first time in a while. No depression, no anxiety, no rage. The tree's have thinned slightly in the forest of quit, the fog has lifted and its become more of a nice relaxing stroll through the woods than a treck through the muck, fog and jungle of quit. I'm excited for the future if I feel like this and I'm still in double digits.

Proud as hell of you brother.

You have gone through shit that some of us know nothing about, you are unstoppable, keep shining brother.

Bad ass.

It keeps getting better, James. One day at a time.

Really proud to quit with you.

Love you guys

I can honestly say I would not be feeling this way without the support you've given me. Dip might have masked everything but that doesn't mean it wasn't still there.

[worktowin]

It has been a little since I've done a true update. Honestly I've been busy between my wifes birthday and a stumach bug and work really picking up now that spring is here. As HoF draws nearer some days I get smacked in the face with a crave out of nowhere but usually... I feel good? the med's and the magnesium powder and the melissa pills seem to be working for my internal demons....It's almost weird to feel normal. Feeling good, feeling normal actually made me question the normality of my normalness, lol. I thought something was wrong because nothing was wrong for the first time in a while. No depression, no anxiety, no rage. The tree's have thinned slightly in the forest of quit, the fog has lifted and its become more of a nice relaxing stroll through the woods than a treck through the muck, fog and jungle of quit. I'm excited for the future if I feel like this and I'm still in double digits.

Proud as hell of you brother.

You have gone through shit that some of us know nothing about, you are unstoppable, keep shining brother.

Bad ass.

It keeps getting better, James. One day at a time.

Really proud to quit with you.

[Skolvikings]

It has been a little since I've done a true update. Honestly I've been busy between my wifes birthday and a stumach bug and work really picking up now that spring is here. As HoF draws nearer some days I get smacked in the face with a crave out of nowhere but usually... I feel good? the med's and the magnesium powder and the melissa pills seem to be working for my internal demons....It's almost weird to feel normal. Feeling good, feeling normal actually made me question the normality of my normalness, lol. I thought something was wrong because nothing was wrong for the first time in a while. No depression, no anxiety, no rage. The tree's have thinned slightly in the forest of quit, the fog has lifted and its become more of a nice relaxing stroll through the woods than a treck through the muck, fog and jungle of quit. I'm excited for the future if I feel like this and I'm still in double digits.

Proud as hell of you brother.

You have gone through shit that some of us know nothing about, you are unstoppable, keep shining brother.

[Gromo]

It has been a little since I've done a true update. Honestly I've been busy between my wifes birthday and a stumach bug and work really picking up now that spring is here. As HoF draws nearer some days I get smacked in the face with a crave out of nowhere but usually... I feel good? the med's and the magnesium powder and the melissa pills seem to be working for my internal demons....It's almost weird to feel normal. Feeling good, feeling normal actually made me question the normality of my normalness, lol. I thought something was wrong because nothing was wrong for the first time in a while. No depression, no anxiety, no rage. The tree's have thinned slightly in the forest of quit, the fog has lifted and its become more of a nice relaxing stroll through the woods than a treck through the muck, fog and jungle of quit. I'm excited for the future if I feel like this and I'm still in double digits.

[Doofus]

Day 86 bro, proud with you

[Gromo]

Poof

[Doofus]

God damn its been a roller coaster these last weeks.

the cigar incident was an outside influence but it seemed to spark something....First that initial desire...the memories, the strength it took me to shred that fucking cigar...Then following that lets call it the crying episode. My god on sunday I couldn't stop bawling I got drunk as fuck and I really couldn't control it anymore. I was getting so mad at myself for crying that I was punching walls..hand still hurts, think I might have fucked up my wrist. then I went through a week of wierd. Depression was coming back, could feel it I was distancing myself from everyone. I was deffinitely feeling a lack of motivation...then woke up one day with a complete lack of control feeling. I thought I had gone crazy and was in the looney bin and everything was a god damned halucination. I felt fucking crazy. bat shit style. Wanted to fucking end it all...Then today with the rage, I mean fucking cunts...I am so fucking angry today I wanna rip someones fucking head off. I'm going to attack the fucking yardwork so fucking hard when I get home I might huck a god damned tree from my yard into athans. Fuck.

I just got that gate fixed bro! Like just walked in 30 minutes ago. Ya know what, If that's what it takes, you can knock my fence down if you need to. I can always put my fence back together but I can't live without my daily dose of the Gromo!

The cigar incident....that's good stuff...proud to quit with you....if Athan is close by....I challenge each of you to execute an upper decker....first successful deck load wins:) ODAAT

[Athan]

God damn its been a roller coaster these last weeks.

the cigar incident was an outside influence but it seemed to spark something....First that initial desire...the memories, the strength it took me to shred that fucking cigar...Then following that lets call it the crying episode. My god on sunday I couldn't stop bawling I got drunk as fuck and I really couldn't control it anymore. I was getting so mad at myself for crying that I was punching walls..hand still hurts, think I might have fucked up my wrist. then I went through a week of wierd. Depression was coming back, could feel it I was distancing myself from everyone. I was deffinitely feeling a lack of motivation...then woke up one day with a complete lack of control feeling. I thought I had gone crazy and was in the looney bin and everything was a god damned halucination. I felt fucking crazy. bat shit style. Wanted to fucking end it all...Then today with the rage, I mean fucking cunts...I am so fucking angry today I wanna rip someones fucking head off. I'm going to attack the fucking yardwork so fucking hard when I get home I might huck a god damned tree from my yard into athans. Fuck.

I just got that gate fixed bro! Like just walked in 30 minutes ago. Ya know what, If that's what it takes, you can knock my fence down if you need to. I can always put my fence back together but I can't live without my daily dose of the Gromo!

[Gromo]

God damn its been a roller coaster these last weeks.

the cigar incident was an outside influence but it seemed to spark something....First that initial desire...the memories, the strength it took me to shred that fucking cigar...Then following that lets call it the crying episode. My god on sunday I couldn't stop bawling I got drunk as fuck and I really couldn't control it anymore. I was getting so mad at myself for crying that I was punching walls..hand still hurts, think I might have fucked up my wrist. then I went through a week of wierd. Depression was coming back, could feel it I was distancing myself from everyone. I was deffinitely feeling a lack of motivation...then woke up one day with a complete lack of control feeling. I thought I had gone crazy and was in the looney bin and everything was a god damned halucination. I felt fucking crazy. bat shit style. Wanted to fucking end it all...Then today with the rage, I mean fucking cunts...I am so fucking angry today I wanna rip someones fucking head off. I'm going to attack the fucking yardwork so fucking hard when I get home I might huck a god damned tree from my yard into athans. Fuck.

[Gromo]

Poof...

[eric71]

Still getting goosebumps when I read that. Destined for the annals of quitopia.
I don't know that I have come across anything that sums up so well what we're doing here.
You really captured the depth and breadth of it all right there.
Haven't got the words brother.
All I can say is I quit with you today.

Love you brothers Athan,Michael, and James.

Much love and respect to you too. I have to be honest, deep down inside I'm envious, jealous even that you were there first!
Nevertheless, I am content to have witnessed such an epic quit, count myself blessed to call you my brothers!

So much to appreciate in the words you put to print. Well done on your quit and expressing the process. That is some amazing shit right there.

[Athan]

Still getting goosebumps when I read that. Destined for the annals of quitopia.
I don't know that I have come across anything that sums up so well what we're doing here.
You really captured the depth and breadth of it all right there.
Haven't got the words brother.
All I can say is I quit with you today.

Love you brothers Athan,Michael, and James.

Much love and respect to you too. I have to be honest, deep down inside I'm envious, jealous even that you were there first!
Nevertheless, I am content to have witnessed such an epic quit, count myself blessed to call you my brothers!

[Skolvikings]

Still getting goosebumps when I read that. Destined for the annals of quitopia.
I don't know that I have come across anything that sums up so well what we're doing here.
You really captured the depth and breadth of it all right there.
Haven't got the words brother.
All I can say is I quit with you today.

Love you brothers Athan,Michael, and James.