As the days pass my reasoning for drinking is going with it. When I first started my quit it was because I struggled at stopping. I would use "eh its just a stoppage, so what if I post a day one tomorrow!" Because I wanted to stop not quit. I Can promise that I'm quit today, I can't promise I'll be quit forever. But I needed a reason to not drink today because I kept saying I couldn't quit cause I was planning on drinking on my anniversary, and when we took our trip to Ireland. But I would use those as an excuse to drink today because it is Saturday, or its hot, or its been a long day, or its the fair, or its just one etc etc etc. As the number since I quit grows larger and the number of days to my anniversary grows smaller, I realize that now that I've been quit for 90 days and on my anniversary I'll be quit 155 days and I dont know if I wanna throw that away for a couple glasses of wine we made for our wedding and one of Grappa that I bought on our honeymoon in a small distillery outside of Rome. I actually dropped my College courses I was planning on taking because they involved tasting different wines. As the days grow longer the times I'm definitely gonna cave on alcohol are getting nearer and ceasing to be as important. Class, if you'd have asked me at day 30, I'm obviously going to cave on the class that is designed around tasting different Italian varieties of wine...now I no longer have that class. Anniversary, if You'd had asked me at day 70 I'd have said I'm definitely Going to cave, I mean the wedding wine probably only has another dozen years of being good and we've got 3-4 cases left of it, it's very important to me! Now at day 90....well...maybe I dont wanna, I'll just have one glass and the sip of Grappa, I'll still cave but I don't need to get sloshed. If you ask me right now I'll say I'm definitely caving in Ireland. I mean the whole point of going there and to scotland are to see the sights and to drink the booze. But there's been so many definitely caving moments already and even big events I've changed my mind on....Who knows...All I know is for today I'm quit. I used to not want to be, I'll admit there have been days I've not caved not because my life was more important to me than drinking but because I knew if I caved it'd make it that much easier for my brother Athan to cave and my wife would be comfortable drinking more, so I wouldn't be ticking off my 3rd month sober without them.
I can honestly say...today isn't a struggle. There is no struggle to continue right now. I'm sure there will be in the future, but right now...because of everyone in my corner...I'm probably the most content I've been throughout my entire quit.
