Self loathing

[ParadigmDawg]

I get it Grizz.

My temper was way out of control for the first 60 days. There were times that it really scared me not to mention some people around me. I started to think something was really wrong with me.

Day 61 was like someone flipped a switch and my temper was totally back under control. I have now had about 25 days of a normal and calm personality.

[30isEnuff]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
         
          That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
        It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.

Gotta love Dip rage,


When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.

It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,


Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise

sM

Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.

I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.

If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.

I quit with you today brother.

Pinched

This is good stuff. You are doing it Grizz. You figured out what was going on and processed it. You even did it without taking the rage out on the poor sap that doesn't have a clue.
Proud to be quit with you today.

What Skoal Monster said X 100!!
You'll look back later and laugh your ass off at the rage!
Keep it here, keep it cool, keep quit.

[CaliforniaSlim]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
         
          That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
        It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.

Gotta love Dip rage,


When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.

It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,


Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise

sM

Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.

I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.

If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.

I quit with you today brother.

Pinched

This is good stuff. You are doing it Grizz. You figured out what was going on and processed it. You even did it without taking the rage out on the poor sap that doesn't have a clue.
Proud to be quit with you today.

[Pinched]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
         
          That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
        It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.

Gotta love Dip rage,


When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.

It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,


Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise

sM

Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.

I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.

If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.

I quit with you today brother.

Pinched

[Skoal Monster]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
         
          That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
        It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.

Gotta love Dip rage,


When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.

It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,


Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise

sM

[Smokeyg]

hell yes

[wmcatty]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"

That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.

[Its_Got2Happen]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
         
          That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
        It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Congrats on 10 days man. Doesn't sound weak to me. 10 days is bad ass. Most of my "quits" lasted less than 3 days. Always pussed out, always caved when things got rough. Not you, you are just plowing right through, nose to the grind stone. Proud of you man, and you should be proud of yourself.

It sounds like your work pal is lucky enough to not know and understand addiction. Good for him. Glad you didnt kick his ass, you are right, not his fault at all.

Keep it up. See you tomorrow.

[Mike from AB]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"

That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

Wow, you got a great attitude about this! Because you're right, he has no idea. None at all. If he's a dipper  hasn't tried, he has no idea. If he isn't, he REALLY has no idea! Heck, I had no idea what I was in for when I started down this road! PM sent, but to make a long story short, I've been told it can take 150 days to truly feel normal again. At day 57 I think I'm starting to feel better, then feel worse when I wonder why I'm not. This is a MUCH longer road than 10 days!! If this were easy everybody would be doing it! Hang in there bro, you got this.

[Grizzfall]

Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"

That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall

[Mike from AB]

Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.

Congrats for making it through paralyzing anxiety fri/sat/sun. That is the worst symptom, but if you can fight it off like that you got this. So many others you talk to don't even try to quit because they can't handle the anxiety that starts to creep in. It's a horrible symptom, I have it bad, but it can be beat  you're learning that. WTG!

[Punkin]

Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.

At'a boy Griz. Kickin ass and taking names. Thanks for the PM and text. Proud to be quit with you buddy.

Dill flavored seeds?!?!? I gotta find some of them bad boys

[Its_Got2Happen]

Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.

Go Grizz Go


You got this

You are doing it man. Keep it up.

I like it. I think we have a quitter here. Working the program, and taking his freedom back one day at a time. Keep it up Grizzfall.

[CaliforniaSlim]

Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.

Go Grizz Go


You got this

You are doing it man. Keep it up.

[Skoal Monster]

Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.

Go Grizz Go


You got this