« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 7   Go Down

Author Topic: My Story  (Read 5642 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Cornholio

  • BANNED
  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,963
  • Interests: "I am still growing too with all areas of life as I feel when we stop that is when we go 6 feet under. So each day I look to learn something or apply something I have learned in the past as we have reached today based on all of our decisions in that past. They made us who we are now, but do not define who we will be tomorrow, as that definition starts now." ~ SirDerek"KTC is a circle the wagons situation and you need to be inside the circle busting ass to keep the circle tight! Anyone running from the circle does so at their own peril..." ~ Jason (JDM)
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #68 on: January 08, 2012, 01:30:00 AM »
Quote from: PMac
Quote from: Souliman
Quote from: Aglawyer
Quote from: PMac
Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all.  But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.

Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.

You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.

Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
Don't worry. I have conviction in my quit. I'm so invested in it now that if I wanted to cave I'd almost have to move out of state. I'm so far beyond it right now that it's not funny. The "not sure I have big quitter balls" comment was more about the fact that I don't feel like some big quit bad ass...I'm not out there converting the unclean or telling people that I know, am friends with, or care about that they can get well too. I guess what I am saying is that I'm still the puss that was embarrassed about doing it in the first place so now that I've quit I don't want people to know that I'm an addict and former user so I don't DO anything with my quit power. And I guess that there is a part of me that feels like that if I was really a quit bad ass that I'd be helping others even if it meant outing my former habit and always addiction.
I work with a guy who dips 3cans a day. He had to quit drinking a couple years ago due to health issues. He loves his family, loves his work, and is more involved in the outcome of his world than anyone I know.

I don't want to be douchey and be THAT GUY who is pushing his agenda, so I don't talk about it much. I told him all about it early on. Any time he asks, well, that's when I lighten up and get excited about what it's done for me.

He's already said he would like to use something like KTC when he quits.
WHEN he quits. That was my door to push open. No bite yet. He's "thinking" about quitting for Lent.

Sound familiar? The decision to quit has to come from inside. To come to that conclusion, IT SURE HELPS if there's a rolemodel nearby so he can see IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT THIS SHIT, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Just gotta decide to quit for today.
Logged

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #67 on: January 08, 2012, 12:22:00 AM »
Quote from: Souliman
Quote from: Aglawyer
Quote from: PMac
Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all.  But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.

Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.

You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.

Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
Don't worry. I have conviction in my quit. I'm so invested in it now that if I wanted to cave I'd almost have to move out of state. I'm so far beyond it right now that it's not funny. The "not sure I have big quitter balls" comment was more about the fact that I don't feel like some big quit bad ass...I'm not out there converting the unclean or telling people that I know, am friends with, or care about that they can get well too. I guess what I am saying is that I'm still the puss that was embarrassed about doing it in the first place so now that I've quit I don't want people to know that I'm an addict and former user so I don't DO anything with my quit power. And I guess that there is a part of me that feels like that if I was really a quit bad ass that I'd be helping others even if it meant outing my former habit and always addiction.
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline Souliman

  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,106
  • Interests: Swim Bike Run - Shooting - Chasing my boys around.
  • Likes Given: 2
Re: My Story
« Reply #66 on: January 07, 2012, 09:20:00 AM »
Quote from: Aglawyer
Quote from: PMac
Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all.  But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.

Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.

You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.

Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
Logged

Offline AgLawyer

  • Quit Pro
  • ***
  • Posts: 8,110
  • Interests: Travelin, hikin, liftin and quittin
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #65 on: January 06, 2012, 12:25:00 AM »
Quote from: PMac
Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
Logged

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #64 on: January 06, 2012, 12:15:00 AM »
Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline Souliman

  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,106
  • Interests: Swim Bike Run - Shooting - Chasing my boys around.
  • Likes Given: 2
Re: My Story
« Reply #63 on: January 04, 2012, 07:32:00 AM »
Props to you PMac. Keep fighting bro. You've got quitter balls....steel shiny quitter balls.

Some times I like to put mine on the table during a meeting.

"Oh those balls...yeah that's my quit right there. Yeah, they're steel."
Logged

Offline Cornholio

  • BANNED
  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,963
  • Interests: "I am still growing too with all areas of life as I feel when we stop that is when we go 6 feet under. So each day I look to learn something or apply something I have learned in the past as we have reached today based on all of our decisions in that past. They made us who we are now, but do not define who we will be tomorrow, as that definition starts now." ~ SirDerek"KTC is a circle the wagons situation and you need to be inside the circle busting ass to keep the circle tight! Anyone running from the circle does so at their own peril..." ~ Jason (JDM)
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #62 on: January 04, 2012, 12:46:00 AM »
Quote from: PMac
Wow. Found three cans of unopened Skoal Long Cut Mint this evening putting on my heaviest winter jacket to go to dinner. Here in the Atlanta area getting down in the low 20s/high teens tonight so I pulled out the heavy jacket as we were heading out to go get some dinner with the kids.

They were all from last year in the winter. Being a notorious ninja, I hid Skoal all over the place. I'm sure that I'm not done finding cans hidden after drinking a few too many beers. Anyway, I dumped all three with my wife watching. When I started cutting them I looked at her and she was not saying a word and was wide-eyed...I'm sure worried as hell that I was about to throw in a lip.

But I flushed it all. Smelled bad, looked bad. Best part was me mumbling something about "nasty bitch" under my breath as I was dumping it in the toilet and my wife saying "WHAT did you just say to me?!?" We actually both laughed after I explained the nic bitch and the fact that I was "talking" to the black shit floating in the water.

Hope everyone is quitting good. Now get out there and be a quit monster today.
Sneaky, sneaky. You should have taken a shit on it before flushing. Teach that bitch a lesson to try and fuck with you. The nic bitch that is...lol
Logged

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #61 on: January 04, 2012, 12:23:00 AM »
Wow. Found three cans of unopened Skoal Long Cut Mint this evening putting on my heaviest winter jacket to go to dinner. Here in the Atlanta area getting down in the low 20s/high teens tonight so I pulled out the heavy jacket as we were heading out to go get some dinner with the kids.

They were all from last year in the winter. Being a notorious ninja, I hid Skoal all over the place. I'm sure that I'm not done finding cans hidden after drinking a few too many beers. Anyway, I dumped all three with my wife watching. When I started cutting them I looked at her and she was not saying a word and was wide-eyed...I'm sure worried as hell that I was about to throw in a lip.

But I flushed it all. Smelled bad, looked bad. Best part was me mumbling something about "nasty bitch" under my breath as I was dumping it in the toilet and my wife saying "WHAT did you just say to me?!?" We actually both laughed after I explained the nic bitch and the fact that I was "talking" to the black shit floating in the water.

Hope everyone is quitting good. Now get out there and be a quit monster today.
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Online dchogs

  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 12,353
  • Quit Date: May 16, 2011
  • Likes Given: 15
Re: My Story
« Reply #60 on: January 03, 2012, 09:13:00 AM »
atta boy, pmac. you've got this.

love your response to ryan, btw.

let me know if you need anthing... use my number.
Logged
Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time.
HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18; 27th floor- 10/5/18; 28th floor- 1/13/19; 29th foor- 4/22/19; 30th floor- 7/31/19; 31st floor- 11/8/19; 32nd floor- 2/17/20; 33rd floor- 5/27/20; 34th floor- 9/4/20; 35th floor- 12/13/20; 36th floor- 3/23/21; 37th floor- 7/1/21; 38th floor- 10/9/21; 39th floor- 1/17/22; 40th floor- 4/27/22; 41st floor- 8/5/22; 42nd floor- 11/12/22; 43rd floor- 2/20/23; 44th floor- 6/1/23; 45th floor- 9/9/23; 46th floor- 12/18/23; 47th floor- 3/27/24; 48th floor- 7/5/24; 49th floor- 10/3/24.

"He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11.

Who dares, wins.

Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.

"To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #59 on: January 02, 2012, 10:48:00 PM »
What with the holidays and all, I've been a slack ass about where I am.

Overall, I am proud of myself that I am quit still. 15 days. Never been that long in over two and a half decades....that is longer than some of you new quitters on here have been alive. Think about THAT shit. Anyway, for the most part it has all been good. I am beating the bitch's ass. My wife had a long come-to-Jesus meeting with me yesterday about my attitude with the kids...and she is almost certainly right about the shortness that I have exhibited with their behavior. But all in all that is just some anxiousness that I am now starting to recognize and be able to deal with before it gets the better of me. My wife told me yesterday that for the first time in as long as she can remember (we've been married since August of 1996 and started dating in 1992), it was great to not have to smell the dip when hugging, kissing, etc.

As for the down side, well...there hasn't been a down side. That doesn't mean that the insomnia hasn't sucked (because it has), and it doesn't mean that inability to get back to sleep after waking up hasn't sucked (because it has too), but both conditions are getting better. Those are down sides but I laugh at any symptoms or minor problems that cause me discomfort or inconvenience in my quit.

There are so many great people on this site that have helped me. Right now, I am a bad ass, mean mo-fo, quit monster and if you are in any way attempting to get in the way of my quit be prepared to get run-the-fuck-over...but considering that I've been a failure so many times in the past it would be a crime not to recognize all the the people on here who inspire me, support me, reach out to me, and help me continue day after day. Thank you to every one of you who are here. I, and my wife, truly thank you. If I tried to name you all I would undoubtedly leave some out.

Time to get back to being a QUIT ANIMAL!

PMac
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline AgLawyer

  • Quit Pro
  • ***
  • Posts: 8,110
  • Interests: Travelin, hikin, liftin and quittin
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #58 on: January 02, 2012, 10:30:00 PM »
Quote from: PMac
Holy shit was Day 15 the worst day so far, LOL. For me the connection between watching Georgia football and dipping is strong. Didn't make it easier watching the embarrassing collapse to a fucking worthless Big Ten team. When your priorities in life have Georgia football in the top 5 after God, family, country, and work - watching something like what happened today is a trying thing for a new quitter.

Fortunately, I saw the bitch for what she was, kicked her in the ass, and moved on.

Happy New Years to all the quitters. You guys rock.

PMac
Looks like you are seeing it for what it was. My Day 15 was my worst up to that point and since. I, too, at that point saw it for what it was and dismissed it. Nice going.
Logged

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #57 on: January 02, 2012, 07:36:00 PM »
Holy shit was Day 15 the worst day so far, LOL. For me the connection between watching Georgia football and dipping is strong. Didn't make it easier watching the embarrassing collapse to a fucking worthless Big Ten team. When your priorities in life have Georgia football in the top 5 after God, family, country, and work - watching something like what happened today is a trying thing for a new quitter.

Fortunately, I saw the bitch for what she was, kicked her in the ass, and moved on.

Happy New Years to all the quitters. You guys rock.

PMac
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #56 on: January 01, 2012, 02:21:00 AM »
First, glad you picked my thread to post in.

Second, throw out your your shit and go post roll. Now.

Third, fuck you. Don't come into my thread and say youhave a fucking dip your fucking mouth! You have absolutely got to be absolutely kidding a 14 day quitter to walk in to my god damn thread and on 01/01 say you have a fucking lip in. Seriously?
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline Ryantheruss

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #55 on: December 31, 2011, 11:11:00 PM »
Hello, I am new here. I've been dipping for the past 10 years, I go through 3 cans a week. I am writing this post with a dip in my mouth... Tomorrow brings a new year,- a fresh start on a clean slate. I have wanted to and have "tried" to quit a few times over the years. I found this site about 2 months ago and have seen much support help and community from over viewing it. I have always put off quitting and made stupid excuses as why "now" isn't the right time. I figure if I can't quit now I never will. My wife and family are Thrilled I have decided to quit and a group that can help. Jan 1 2012 is day 1 for me. Thanks for your being here and am looking forward to beating this addiction! Killin the can!
Logged

Offline PMac

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 1,799
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #54 on: December 31, 2011, 10:36:00 PM »
To all of you fellow dirty, no good, dirt chewing, rotten, mean ass, sorry SOBs, I wish you a happy, nic free, crave free, and magnificent 2012.
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 7   Go Up
« previous next »