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Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #53 on: December 30, 2011, 07:02:00 PM »
Appreciate it AD - couldn't have done it without KTC and guys like you. Now let's go kick the bitch in the ass.
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My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline AtomicDiesel

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Re: My Story
« Reply #52 on: December 30, 2011, 01:27:00 PM »
Proud of you PMac. You got a great quit going on.
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?The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.? Mark 1:15
Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just: that his justice cannot sleep for ever - TJ
KTC Retread...Quit for the final time 10/21/2011
Though I am peaceful, please do not assume that I have somehow forgotten how to be violent.

Offline dchogs

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Re: My Story
« Reply #51 on: December 30, 2011, 11:53:00 AM »
Quote from: Dchogs
(as i suspect all addictions are... this was my only one)
re-reading this, i found some addict speak sneaking into my words.

this should read:

(as i suspect all addictions are... this IS my only one)

carry on.
Logged
Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time.
HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18; 27th floor- 10/5/18; 28th floor- 1/13/19; 29th foor- 4/22/19; 30th floor- 7/31/19; 31st floor- 11/8/19; 32nd floor- 2/17/20; 33rd floor- 5/27/20; 34th floor- 9/4/20; 35th floor- 12/13/20; 36th floor- 3/23/21; 37th floor- 7/1/21; 38th floor- 10/9/21; 39th floor- 1/17/22; 40th floor- 4/27/22; 41st floor- 8/5/22; 42nd floor- 11/12/22; 43rd floor- 2/20/23; 44th floor- 6/1/23; 45th floor- 9/9/23; 46th floor- 12/18/23; 47th floor- 3/27/24; 48th floor- 7/5/24; 49th floor- 10/3/24.

"He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11.

Who dares, wins.

Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.

"To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau

Offline Greg5280

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Re: My Story
« Reply #50 on: December 30, 2011, 09:25:00 AM »
PMac,
We have all paused and re-started multiple times on our own. The difference is this quit you have this site, the resources provided here, and thousands of bad ass quitters willing to help you stay clean. If you had a bad moment alone it was easy to return to the can. When you have a bad moment now you can reach out and get support !!

You are right, we are addicts and as such need to remain vigilant. Posting roll is that daily reminder that you cannot relax. Stay close to the site, keep posting roll, become active in other peoples quit and you will be fine. Become relaxed, wander from the site, think you have this thing whipped and problems develop.

You can remain clean, but you are NEVER cured. The second you forget your an addict you are in trouble...

STAY QUIT
Greg
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Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #49 on: December 30, 2011, 12:46:00 AM »
Thanks DCHOGS. Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibe. I've started and failed so many times that getting this far this time and actually believing that I will continue is awesome. But being a multiple-quit-failure ("MQF"), I truly know that even though I say that I'm done forever I still have to protect my quit daily.
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My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline dchogs

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Re: My Story
« Reply #48 on: December 28, 2011, 08:53:00 AM »
your quit will go through cycles of strength and weakness, awesome easiness and brutal difficulty, constant vigilance and surprising indifference. the cycles are different for everyone, but it helps to go back to an older quit group and read what was going on throughout their quits. it helps to remind you that what you're going through is normal and of what's to come.

i think my quit's on a 80 day cycle of suck. i hit funks at 80 and around 160, so i'm on the lookout for another here. get to know your quit... it'll help you to plan.

enjoy the easy days, remember the hard days, and always stay vigilant. it's a crafty addiction (as i suspect all addictions are... this was my only one), and it'll keep rearing it's ugly head to try and temp you. be aware and be strong.
Logged
Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time.
HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18; 27th floor- 10/5/18; 28th floor- 1/13/19; 29th foor- 4/22/19; 30th floor- 7/31/19; 31st floor- 11/8/19; 32nd floor- 2/17/20; 33rd floor- 5/27/20; 34th floor- 9/4/20; 35th floor- 12/13/20; 36th floor- 3/23/21; 37th floor- 7/1/21; 38th floor- 10/9/21; 39th floor- 1/17/22; 40th floor- 4/27/22; 41st floor- 8/5/22; 42nd floor- 11/12/22; 43rd floor- 2/20/23; 44th floor- 6/1/23; 45th floor- 9/9/23; 46th floor- 12/18/23; 47th floor- 3/27/24; 48th floor- 7/5/24; 49th floor- 10/3/24.

"He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11.

Who dares, wins.

Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.

"To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau

Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #47 on: December 27, 2011, 10:50:00 PM »
Many thanks to markr and Cornholio for their thoughts. No doubt I think about making sure that I stay the course. I've "quit" for a week or so several times. I know now that it'll take constant vigilance! Thanks for your interest and your input...it really is valued.
Logged
My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline markr

  • Quit Date 04/01/2009
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  • Interests: I like Bowhunting Deer, bowfishing, shooting, deer hunting, fishing for bass and smallies in local lake and streams. Taking my daughter out in the wild my youngest love to shoot ,hunt and fish. I am a Hunters ed instructor and like to introduce kids to outdoors activities. Restoring old tractors.
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Re: My Story
« Reply #46 on: December 26, 2011, 07:10:00 PM »
Quote from: PMac
Day 8.  December 26th.  I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread.  Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.

Peace.

PMac
PMac

Keep up the good work man. Keep posting here in your intro when you are having a bad day look back through your post and the replies you got draw from that. Don't forget to post good days as well you will have ups and downs. I still use my intro and I just hit 1000 days so nothing wrong with venting.
Stay Quit
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Offline Cornholio

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  • Interests: "I am still growing too with all areas of life as I feel when we stop that is when we go 6 feet under. So each day I look to learn something or apply something I have learned in the past as we have reached today based on all of our decisions in that past. They made us who we are now, but do not define who we will be tomorrow, as that definition starts now." ~ SirDerek"KTC is a circle the wagons situation and you need to be inside the circle busting ass to keep the circle tight! Anyone running from the circle does so at their own peril..." ~ Jason (JDM)
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Re: My Story
« Reply #45 on: December 26, 2011, 10:21:00 AM »
Quote from: PMac
Day 8. December 26th. I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread. Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.

Peace.

PMac
Inspirational stuff. You're giving me a quit boner. Hang around brother. My only fear is your confidence may build to a point where you'll walk away from the site.

my fear is strong because I've caved when on my own after a year! Granted, I may be more of an idiot that the average quitter...that I had to learn the hard way that once an addict, always an addict. It only takes one to awaken the cunt, and before you know it, it's years before you try again.

Protect your quit! I'm thrilled to quit with you today.
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Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #44 on: December 26, 2011, 01:53:00 AM »
Day 8. December 26th. I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread. Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.

Peace.

PMac
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My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #43 on: December 25, 2011, 01:10:00 AM »
Day 6 wound itself up and Day 7 started. We finished getting Santa's stuff out for the kids. This was my first weekend day without the the nasty shit. I kept busy, so it wasn't too bad.

Here's hoping that all you quitters have a Merry Christmas. I'm amazed by this place and I hope that everyone has a great day today.

Peace.

PMac.
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My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline PMac

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Re: My Story
« Reply #42 on: December 23, 2011, 11:47:00 PM »
Day 5 is rolling to a close. Worst day so far. Not necessarily because of the quit, but just because work sucked real bad today. Anxiety was bad and I had the first instance of realizing what I USED to do when I felt like that. Be a little pussy and sneak off like a weasel and put some worm dirt in my lip to ease myself down.

FUCK THAT!

When I left my office and called my wife she asked how the day went and I told her the whole thing. I'm pretty sure she wanted to ask whether I caved. Listen, my office was technically closed. For the most part I was there alone. For a ninja dipper (like me before the 19th) it would have been like paradise. But, I laughed and told her that I was even more committed to my quit at 4:00 PM on Friday, December 23rd than I was on Monday, December 19th when I woke up. I told her that I am so looking forward to spending the next three days with my family and how awesome it is going to be that I am not going to have to worry about when and where I can sneak off and have that little pinch between the cheek and gum. I meant every word of it because I meant every word of my pledge when I posted roll this morning.

So on the eve of the Eve, I am sitting here and thinking about how thankful I am that tonight I didn't have to sneak off to have a little dip while my wife's family was here at the house and we were having our Christmas early with them. I'm thankful that the people that started this site were inspired to help others. I'm thankful that I have quit brothers that PM me and text me on my cell phone to ask how shit is going. That is TRULY amazing. My wife is beyond impressed by this place. I'm thankful that Gunner is now posting roll and PM'd me tonight and will be my quit brother in March. Hell, I'm thankful that Tex0322 and MikeA have avatars that can make the minutes of my insomnia pass like seconds.

Tomorrow night will probably be nuts trying to get presents wrapped for kids and stuff, so if I don't post something tomorrow night be confident that I'm still going strong and that my pledge tomorrow morning hasn't been violated. So if I don't make it back after tomorrow morning, I truly hope that everyone here has a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays. To those that have my cell number, it's on and it's available if you need to talk, rant, or scream.

PMac
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My Independence Day - December 19, 2011
HOF - March 27, 2012
Comma Town, USA - September 15, 2014
Three Years - December 19, 2014
Eleventh Floor - December 24, 2014

Offline 30yraddict

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Re: My Story
« Reply #41 on: December 23, 2011, 12:29:00 PM »
Quote from: Mr
Quote from: Greg5280
More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !
Quote
Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo. 
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth. 
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass. 
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see..
Quote
I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude...
Quote
I really don't give a shit. 
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also...
Quote
Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too...
Quote
I have zero respect for the bitch.  Quitting her is easy.  The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.
Living free of the bitch...
Quote
If you are married, take your wife to dinner. 
Spend time with your kids. 
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call daily
Quote
I'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
outstanding!
Right on PMac!
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Offline Mr Nice Guy

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Re: My Story
« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2011, 11:01:00 AM »
Quote from: Greg5280
More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !
Quote
Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo. 
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth. 
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass. 
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see..
Quote
I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude...
Quote
I really don't give a shit. 
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also...
Quote
Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too...
Quote
I have zero respect for the bitch.  Quitting her is easy.  The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.
Living free of the bitch...
Quote
If you are married, take your wife to dinner. 
Spend time with your kids. 
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call daily
Quote
I'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
outstanding!
Logged

Offline Greg5280

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quit King
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,193
  • BONAFIDE QUIT BEAST
  • Quit Date: 10-30-2009
  • Interests: Golf, Running, Cycling, Being outside, Spending time with my family. Quitting and helping newbies.
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: My Story
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2011, 09:16:00 AM »
More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !
Quote
Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo. 
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth. 
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass. 
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see..
Quote
I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude...
Quote
I really don't give a shit. 
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also...
Quote
Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too...
Quote
I have zero respect for the bitch.  Quitting her is easy.  The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.


Living free of the bitch...
Quote
If you are married, take your wife to dinner. 
Spend time with your kids. 
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call daily
Quote
I'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
Logged
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