No looking back

[LionHeartedGirl]

July 10  11

Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.

Them damn defense mechanisms. The can block out all kinds of crap for awhile. Good for you to realize that messed up thinking though.


Bye the way LionHeartedGirl please for give me when you read my posts and they say "guys" as inclusive for all on the forum. I know there are great women out there fighting this Nic crap and giving great feedback as well. You Specifically!!!!! It is just a habit.

I don't mind. When I'm in the locker room (that's how I think of this place) I know I'm gonna be "one of the boys". :)

[AppleJack]

July 10  11

Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.

Love me some Luby! Thank you, dude.

[FIGHTIN-IGNORANCE]

July 10  11

Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.

Them damn defense mechanisms. The can block out all kinds of crap for awhile. Good for you to realize that messed up thinking though.


Bye the way LionHeartedGirl please for give me when you read my posts and they say "guys" as inclusive for all on the forum. I know there are great women out there fighting this Nic crap and giving great feedback as well. You Specifically!!!!! It is just a habit.

[LionHeartedGirl]

July 10  11

Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.

Damn this is good stuff!

[luby]

July 10  11

Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.

[FIGHTIN-IGNORANCE]

Oh yeah. I am picking it up loud and clear. I am sure others are as well. I am left wondering if other fellow quitters are smiling as big as I was when reading these last comments. Not smiling because it is a joke. I am smiling because I am happy I am beginning to recognize the idiotic thinking now a I had before. I know I have to stay on top of this as I sat and still sit here fighting some of that perverse addiction thinking just a few minutes ago.

This reminiscing can be fun but us newbies need to be careful. From the addiction world this is called Euphoric Recall. That is when we reminisce of a time we used and had positive experiences with our drug of choice. It is a subconscious attempt by our addiction to get us consciously thinking about using again and only associating the positive feelings with it. That way we are more likely to cave. Boys becareful with this. Especially us newbies. You can't prevent it just make sure you get yourself out or thinking about the negative aspects as quick as possible. Basically, RIGHT NOW!!!

Man I love this site and the input guys give. This is strength that keeps me focused. It is Awesome! :D

[nsg4]

Love the random thoughts of reminiscing! Hope the newbies are picking up on this




I am.....

[jake frawley]

July 9, 2011
The perfect day to test my new way of life as someone who dips a little. I had a two hour drive to Portland so I had one dip on the way, and planned for one more on the way home. In between drives I had to work 10 hours at a Major league socce game, not my favorite sport but it still pays. This being the case there would be no reason not to leave the can in my car, I of course put it in my bag and headed to work. I was on headsets early for the game and bored so I had another one, cus you know it was a work thing, then when the game was over I had a little quick one while I took down my camera, but it was smaller so it was all good. I can honestly say I was ignoring all rational thoughts that my quitting dip had turned into me justifying 2 dips and that those 2 dips had turned into four.....
I wasn't facing reality at all but my days as an occasional dipper were off to a fairly ugly beginning.

Their is such a thing as an occasional dipper? Damn wish I knew that in my 20's. I was 2 cans a day for almost 17 years. Maybe that was occasional..... Glad to see you posted this. It's clear we cannot CONTROL our addiction. The only way it works is none at all!

[luby]

July 9, 2011
The perfect day to test my new way of life as someone who dips a little. I had a two hour drive to Portland so I had one dip on the way, and planned for one more on the way home. In between drives I had to work 10 hours at a Major league socce game, not my favorite sport but it still pays. This being the case there would be no reason not to leave the can in my car, I of course put it in my bag and headed to work. I was on headsets early for the game and bored so I had another one, cus you know it was a work thing, then when the game was over I had a little quick one while I took down my camera, but it was smaller so it was all good. I can honestly say I was ignoring all rational thoughts that my quitting dip had turned into me justifying 2 dips and that those 2 dips had turned into four.....
I wasn't facing reality at all but my days as an occasional dipper were off to a fairly ugly beginning.

[rangy96]

July 8, 2011

Friday morning, I woke up had a couple cups of coffee drove to the convenience store bought a big diet coke and can of Skoal Mint, drove home and put a dip in....

It was that simple.

It was almost like I wasn't even awake, all the addict parts of my brain had shut down the reasonable, logical parts. I had no tools to deal with this and I let it happen. I was not a part of KTC then, hell looking back on it I know I wasn't quit, it was an attempt and a half assed one at that. Over the next few days I will answer the three questions.
Looking back on it the most depressing part of this failure was the incredibly depressing reasoning behind it. There was no way I was gonna be able to quit forever so why even bother trying.
But I wasn't thinking that way on this day 2 years ago, my brain wasn't allowing logic for awhile, I wasn't even enjoying the lip full of cancer it was just pure auto pilot on that first dip.
Later that afternoon I had another dip before my wife came home and that is when addict logic started to take over. I remember thinking I was now gonna become the occasional dipper! I would not chew nearly the same amount, hell I'd just gone 5 days with no trouble I would do that on a regular basis, and at work where a can was lucky to get me through a day I would just have one or two.
That is where my mind was 2 years ago today.

Ahh the occasional dipper rationalization!! One of my faves! I "only dipped occassionally" for about 10 years at the rate of roughly a can a day. What a difference 2 years make!

Stay strong Luby my man. Stay strong. Proud to be quit with you.

Rangy96.

[dforbes]

Love the random thoughts of reminiscing! Hope the newbies are picking up on this

[luby]

July 8, 2011

Friday morning, I woke up had a couple cups of coffee drove to the convenience store bought a big diet coke and can of Skoal Mint, drove home and put a dip in....

It was that simple.

It was almost like I wasn't even awake, all the addict parts of my brain had shut down the reasonable, logical parts. I had no tools to deal with this and I let it happen. I was not a part of KTC then, hell looking back on it I know I wasn't quit, it was an attempt and a half assed one at that. Over the next few days I will answer the three questions.
Looking back on it the most depressing part of this failure was the incredibly depressing reasoning behind it. There was no way I was gonna be able to quit forever so why even bother trying.
But I wasn't thinking that way on this day 2 years ago, my brain wasn't allowing logic for awhile, I wasn't even enjoying the lip full of cancer it was just pure auto pilot on that first dip.
Later that afternoon I had another dip before my wife came home and that is when addict logic started to take over. I remember thinking I was now gonna become the occasional dipper! I would not chew nearly the same amount, hell I'd just gone 5 days with no trouble I would do that on a regular basis, and at work where a can was lucky to get me through a day I would just have one or two.
That is where my mind was 2 years ago today.

[jbradley]

July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.

'Popcorn'

Loving this.

This so cool. What a great idea. Leave it to Lubes to think of something like this.

'Popcorn'

[Tiburonbob]

July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.

'Popcorn'

Loving this.

This so cool. What a great idea. Leave it to Lubes to think of something like this.

[wastepanel]

July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.

'Popcorn'

Loving this.