No looking back

[cbird65]

'BanDog'

Don't bogart the Luby

'BanDog'

[Coach Steve]

'BanDog'

[AppleJack]

My fellow Oregon brother!!
900 days. Badass. Thanks for being around John. From the start of my quit you've been a big help and steady supporter. Hats off to you man!

[Kdip]

A New Years Eve toast to a great quitter and fellow former ninja! Proud to be quit with you today as you celebrate your 900th day of freedom! Post roll and repeat.......

[Pinched]

Dear John (damn I get to write a Dear John letter),
Well brother congrats on day 900 today. You recently helped pull my head from my ass when I was in a funk, for that owe you. You are a great quitter, a good man and what I consider a damn good friend.

I appreciate everything you do and I look forward to many more +1s with you. Keep on keeping on and I will keep on watching sporting events just waiting to see a spat sunflower seed husk fly across the TV screen.

Thanks,

Corey

[RAZD611]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT

'BanDog'

'BanDog'

damn man, next year maybe we speak to one another before the season...as think you saw what I went through and felt the same.

but remember as its never again as we just keep kicking this.

right there with you brother.

Got room for one more

[SirDerek]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT

'BanDog'

'BanDog'

damn man, next year maybe we speak to one another before the season...as think you saw what I went through and felt the same.

but remember as its never again as we just keep kicking this.

right there with you brother.

[Coach Steve]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT

'BanDog'

'BanDog'

[ERDVM]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT

'BanDog'

[jaynellie]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT

[Its_Got2Happen]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.

[luby]

Holiday rant.

The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.

[wastepanel]

Luby 845 this is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any other form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise every day because even 845 days in without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 846 days ago. But not today, motherfucker, not today.


This was my roll post today. I hate to tell guys fighting thru the first days that there will still be suck this far along, but there will be. WE ARE ADDICTS. Its that simple, we will never be cured most days are great but there are still times when this shitty, awful, addictive drug calls to us. Easy solution post roll, and live up to your word, it is what I did today, and I'll do it again first thing tomorrow.

Quit with this awesome community today.

Hell yeah my friend.

When we start posting roll here, it's because we have to. We're doing EVERYTHING in our power to stay quit. We claw. We fight. We learn tools to help us cope. Let's face it...we're fucked up.

But life moves along.

The quit becomes easier.

The quitting pendulum is out of "suck" territory and now everything is sunshine and rainbows. There's so much of this program you can utilize in your life in just about everything you do. "We can only control our actions." "We have today." "Lean on your friends when you need it."

Life is good until that pendulum comes back. It hits us like a freight train, but it never is as bad as it started out. It hurts, and it's surprising.

When times are good, practice for the bad (Which you've done).

When times are bad, lean on what you've learned (Which you're doing).

You got this bud. Ain't no shame in being an addict.

(and, in case you were wondering....)

By WhoDey

I'll tell ya, I still get an urge every now and then.  Nothing serious but there is always that thought about possibly some day dipping again.  I was just browsing around the main killthecan.org site when I saw the Tom and Jenny Kern story on there.  It has been years since I have been on their caring bridge site so I went over and started reading the recent journal entries and guestbook entries.  It is amazing and painful to read how Tom's story continues to affect not only those who are quitting but also how the loss of Tom is still affecting their family.  I am literally sitting at my desk crying.  I read a post from his daughter like the one below, and can barely contain myself.  I tell you what, if I ever get close to going back I hope I have the good sense to go back to their site and start reading.  Heart breaking and inspiring all mixed together.

"Hey dad!

Well today is the day that Alexa leaves for school. I thought I would be so excited for her to go since I will finally not have to be her second mom...reminding her to clean her room, do the dishes, help with laundry, well basically cleaning up after herself...which we all know if a life or death situation for her. Well I am actually sad. (don't tell mom, she will do the "I told you so" thing) Kenra, Lexa, and I had so much fun last night just hanging out, dancing, and just talking.m Now I am at home cleaning her room, bathroom, and closet..because it is now mine. I thinking of her moving in and you should be there helping. When you go to college your dad should be there helping you carry all of the big things, giving you a big hug and as your pretending not to be scared to be on your own you should be there saying it will be okay kiddo, you can call when anytime. But your not. I am so mad that you are not here to watch all of us grow up and here for every waking moment. I wish you could be hear for us and give us that hug and call us kiddo or pumpkin. Well I miss you dad and love you so much!"

WOW!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/index.htm

Every Newb (and Vet) should read this page from the bottom up.

http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/history.htm



WhoDey - 1,894 days Nic free.

[luby]

Luby 845 this is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any other form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise every day because even 845 days in without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 846 days ago. But not today, motherfucker, not today.


This was my roll post today. I hate to tell guys fighting thru the first days that there will still be suck this far along, but there will be. WE ARE ADDICTS. Its that simple, we will never be cured most days are great but there are still times when this shitty, awful, addictive drug calls to us. Easy solution post roll, and live up to your word, it is what I did today, and I'll do it again first thing tomorrow.

Quit with this awesome community today.

[Mike from AB]

I had a shitty summer. I posted roll everyday and between that and all the buddies I knew I could count on if needed a cave was never a threat but it was a rough summer, I worked too much, drove too much, traveled too much. I was at way too many baseball games with my coworkers all dipping, it was harder than I would of liked, had a lot of the "fuck it's" but I muddled through one day at a time. The best thing about crap times like that is no matter your day count when you manage to show the crappy times that you will face whatever they have to give and you will do it free from the bonds of shame, that when you triumph each day the intoxication of freedom is just that much sweeter.

Wow, congrats on making it through a tough summer! You're right about the freedom being that much sweeter though! :D