Newbie from Pa

[Doc Chewfree]

Sorry to hear about your dad. PM me if you need anything.
Don't sweat raging a little at the wife. A good woman can take it ;)
Quit like fuck with you

[Steakbomb18]

Thank you for sharing Grady and showing us the definition of what is meant by Never Again For Any Reason. To remain quit through all those triggers and emotions exemplifies the trademarks of a badass quitter; and you are in deed a badass quitter.

My sympathies to you and your family.

[J2b]

The bitch was looking me right square in the eye!

I had a serious gut check over the weekend and I thought I'd share. So to make a real long story short, my Dad after a year in and out of the hospital, nursing homes, home back and forth, was sent to the hospital last Tuesday in serious condition. On Thursday, myself being the family spokesmen and handling speaking with all the Doctors, got a call that my Dad's condition was grave. After looking at all the facts and the professional advice, we as a family decided that it was out of our hands and that the decision to terminate life support had to be made.

This all leads to the bitch wanting to go a few rounds with me. There I was toe to toe with that whore. My brother who has also been one of my Skoal brothers for as long as I can remember, takes a big 'ol pinch right in front of me sitting in a waiting room at the hospital. When that smell hit my nostrils, I honestly thought I was going to puke. I had to go for a short walk. Needless to say we spent a lot of time with one another over the weekend, with all the bullshit happening, and us trying to spend as much time with our mother, we were in the vehicle together on more than one occasion. Oh yeah, he's got the spitter working, patooey. So there I am saying to myself, "are you f'ing kidding me, Dad is lying in the hospital dying and my brother is right beside me with that bitch that took so many years of my life away from me, right there within arms reach."

I was told by the ordering Dr. that this would all be relatively quick. Friday night we all said our goodbyes and we went home. So, I am the 1st contact and needless to say all throughout the night on Friday I didn't get much sleep. The phone never rang. The phone didn't ring all weekend. The emotional roller coaster that the whole family is experiencing is beyond any words. Today is now Tuesday and Dad has not passed yet.

I attempted to keep busy over the weekend. One of my trademarks of my addiction to the miserable whore was that I always was so self-conscious about my chewing. I constantly brushed my teeth, sometimes getting remnants of toothpaste in my goatee. So, anyways I'm out in my garage keeping busy, my wife comes up to me and says, "what is on your face, toothpaste? Oh my God were you chewing?" This wasn't the 1st time throughout my 20 days of my quit that she's asked this. Even chewing Jakes, I still brush my teeth when I spit one out, I can not stand shit in my teeth. Back to the Mrs. I look at her and snap, " If you ask me on more *^%in time if I had a chew, I'm going to start again." BOOM! There she is. That nicotine bitch is feeding off my fucked up emotions. I have spent a lot of time on KTC over the weekend and it has what has got me through all this.

She didn't win, I didn't cave. I will NOT cave.

We addicts have a lot to atone for. Step by step man... It's a fight of degrees. Stay strong bro.

Just over a year ago i had to do the same with my dad. It sucks.

Just remember one thing with your wife - she didn't do this to you. You did. I see you in here fighting, and I see in your intro that your love for your wife was part of your motivation. Think how many times she has been let down by you with this addiction, and realize she has earned the right to question you. You must not take it out on her. That's what we are hear for - yell and rage at us.

You sir are killing it. These bad asses here are giving you great advice, stick with it and you can't go wrong. You need anything shoot me a pm..

[Bigbob]

Sorry about your dad brother. Way to stay quit tho! I snapped at my old lady about what type of pierogi were were gunna have one day. Just amazing how it plays your emotions.

[Reeseb]

So sorry about your Dad. I'm quitting with you. Hang in there!

[sixercountry]

Damn bro, sorry to hear about your dad. You are being a beast of a quitter right now.....this is by far the biggest stressor and you are winning. When you get through this, think about how strong you will be. This will make other triggers feel like a pillow fight. Stay qlf.

[Raider]

Also sorry about your dad but you better get your wife some flowers. Way to stay quit.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Sorry about your Dad. That's some damn good quitting though. Way to fight. My only suggestion is to be glad your wife is worried about you.

[Mogul]

Grady, I love reading the shit you write. Excellent quit bro. You got this wired.

Mogul

[AppleJack]

The bitch was looking me right square in the eye!

I had a serious gut check over the weekend and I thought I'd share. So to make a real long story short, my Dad after a year in and out of the hospital, nursing homes, home back and forth, was sent to the hospital last Tuesday in serious condition. On Thursday, myself being the family spokesmen and handling speaking with all the Doctors, got a call that my Dad's condition was grave. After looking at all the facts and the professional advice, we as a family decided that it was out of our hands and that the decision to terminate life support had to be made.

This all leads to the bitch wanting to go a few rounds with me. There I was toe to toe with that whore. My brother who has also been one of my Skoal brothers for as long as I can remember, takes a big 'ol pinch right in front of me sitting in a waiting room at the hospital. When that smell hit my nostrils, I honestly thought I was going to puke. I had to go for a short walk. Needless to say we spent a lot of time with one another over the weekend, with all the bullshit happening, and us trying to spend as much time with our mother, we were in the vehicle together on more than one occasion. Oh yeah, he's got the spitter working, patooey. So there I am saying to myself, "are you f'ing kidding me, Dad is lying in the hospital dying and my brother is right beside me with that bitch that took so many years of my life away from me, right there within arms reach."

I was told by the ordering Dr. that this would all be relatively quick. Friday night we all said our goodbyes and we went home. So, I am the 1st contact and needless to say all throughout the night on Friday I didn't get much sleep. The phone never rang. The phone didn't ring all weekend. The emotional roller coaster that the whole family is experiencing is beyond any words. Today is now Tuesday and Dad has not passed yet.

I attempted to keep busy over the weekend. One of my trademarks of my addiction to the miserable whore was that I always was so self-conscious about my chewing. I constantly brushed my teeth, sometimes getting remnants of toothpaste in my goatee. So, anyways I'm out in my garage keeping busy, my wife comes up to me and says, "what is on your face, toothpaste? Oh my God were you chewing?" This wasn't the 1st time throughout my 20 days of my quit that she's asked this. Even chewing Jakes, I still brush my teeth when I spit one out, I can not stand shit in my teeth. Back to the Mrs. I look at her and snap, " If you ask me on more *^%in time if I had a chew, I'm going to start again." BOOM! There she is. That nicotine bitch is feeding off my fucked up emotions. I have spent a lot of time on KTC over the weekend and it has what has got me through all this.

She didn't win, I didn't cave. I will NOT cave.

We addicts have a lot to atone for. Step by step man... It's a fight of degrees. Stay strong bro.

[Grady]

The bitch was looking me right square in the eye!

I had a serious gut check over the weekend and I thought I'd share. So to make a real long story short, my Dad after a year in and out of the hospital, nursing homes, home back and forth, was sent to the hospital last Tuesday in serious condition. On Thursday, myself being the family spokesmen and handling speaking with all the Doctors, got a call that my Dad's condition was grave. After looking at all the facts and the professional advice, we as a family decided that it was out of our hands and that the decision to terminate life support had to be made.

This all leads to the bitch wanting to go a few rounds with me. There I was toe to toe with that whore. My brother who has also been one of my Skoal brothers for as long as I can remember, takes a big 'ol pinch right in front of me sitting in a waiting room at the hospital. When that smell hit my nostrils, I honestly thought I was going to puke. I had to go for a short walk. Needless to say we spent a lot of time with one another over the weekend, with all the bullshit happening, and us trying to spend as much time with our mother, we were in the vehicle together on more than one occasion. Oh yeah, he's got the spitter working, patooey. So there I am saying to myself, "are you f'ing kidding me, Dad is lying in the hospital dying and my brother is right beside me with that bitch that took so many years of my life away from me, right there within arms reach."

I was told by the ordering Dr. that this would all be relatively quick. Friday night we all said our goodbyes and we went home. So, I am the 1st contact and needless to say all throughout the night on Friday I didn't get much sleep. The phone never rang. The phone didn't ring all weekend. The emotional roller coaster that the whole family is experiencing is beyond any words. Today is now Tuesday and Dad has not passed yet.

I attempted to keep busy over the weekend. One of my trademarks of my addiction to the miserable whore was that I always was so self-conscious about my chewing. I constantly brushed my teeth, sometimes getting remnants of toothpaste in my goatee. So, anyways I'm out in my garage keeping busy, my wife comes up to me and says, "what is on your face, toothpaste? Oh my God were you chewing?" This wasn't the 1st time throughout my 20 days of my quit that she's asked this. Even chewing Jakes, I still brush my teeth when I spit one out, I can not stand shit in my teeth. Back to the Mrs. I look at her and snap, " If you ask me on more *^%in time if I had a chew, I'm going to start again." BOOM! There she is. That nicotine bitch is feeding off my fucked up emotions. I have spent a lot of time on KTC over the weekend and it has what has got me through all this.

She didn't win, I didn't cave. I will NOT cave.

[Doc Chewfree]

The Mrs. says to me this morning, "you seem in such a better mood today, how do you feel." My response was, "different in a good way." I know that it is way too early to be thinking that there's been drastic changes made but man it is so nice not to have that vice.

Driving to the store this morning I'm playing the scenario over in my head: this is where you'd be grabbing your spitter or if you didn't have one, you'd grab a couple of paper towels and wad them up so you could spit. Pull into the store parking lot: grab the bottle of water (which I had 100 % of the time with me) so I could rinse my mouth out. Grab the mouthwash, rinse the shit out of your nasty mouth. Go to step out of the truck and almost step into the big wad of shit, that you just spit out on the ground.

srans, cowboy, derk  rdad thank you all. You know some of my posts have described my recovery with being an alky. 6 1/2 years of being sober and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my addiction to booze and what I allowed it to do to my life. This addiction to nicotine is no different whatsoever. A drug is a drug whether or not it's drank, smoked, chewed, injected, it doesn't make no difference at all. A drug will control every aspect of your life, period. Like all of you, I have chosen to not allow this addiction, to control my life anymore and damn if it doesn't feel good inside and out.

To each and everyone of you, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my quit.

You are rocking this quit, Grady!
PM me if you need anything.
Quit with you today!

[MCO]

Quitting Like Fuck with you Grady, Keep up the good work man!

[Grady]

The Mrs. says to me this morning, "you seem in such a better mood today, how do you feel." My response was, "different in a good way." I know that it is way too early to be thinking that there's been drastic changes made but man it is so nice not to have that vice.

Driving to the store this morning I'm playing the scenario over in my head: this is where you'd be grabbing your spitter or if you didn't have one, you'd grab a couple of paper towels and wad them up so you could spit. Pull into the store parking lot: grab the bottle of water (which I had 100 % of the time with me) so I could rinse my mouth out. Grab the mouthwash, rinse the shit out of your nasty mouth. Go to step out of the truck and almost step into the big wad of shit, that you just spit out on the ground.

srans, cowboy, derk  rdad thank you all. You know some of my posts have described my recovery with being an alky. 6 1/2 years of being sober and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my addiction to booze and what I allowed it to do to my life. This addiction to nicotine is no different whatsoever. A drug is a drug whether or not it's drank, smoked, chewed, injected, it doesn't make no difference at all. A drug will control every aspect of your life, period. Like all of you, I have chosen to not allow this addiction, to control my life anymore and damn if it doesn't feel good inside and out.

To each and everyone of you, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my quit.

[rdad]

Man it's day #4 and I pray that all that shit is out of my body. Wow, you talk about not only the mind games but physically the poison wasn't leaving without a fight. I feel pretty darn good this morning. Thank God for Jakes. That after dinner time and first thing in the morning time, is the SOB.

I say to all my fellow addicts, thank you. It's going to be a great day, free from that shit.

Take a step out your door today and take a good look around. You'll see everything differently. Take a look at the world without nicotine desensitizing your feelings and blurring your vision. After a year of quit i still look around in disbelief. I feel different, see different, act different. There is nothing about us the poison doesn't affect. Suck in that dignity and feel that freedom!

You have a lot of repairs that will take place. You have a new Grady to build. The old Grady is screwed up pretty bad. The new Grady will take some time to build, but he's worth it.

There is a door you need to get to. Sharpen those tools, settle in and make your way to the door. I can't tell you how far the door is or how long it will take to get there, but I can tell you it's worth every step. We're here to help you make it, and make it you will. Failure is not an option!!

Grady,
Adding to what srans is saying....
There is a brave new world out there without nicotine. Now that you are done with dip, it's time to start replacing the nic bitch with other more valuable things in your life. You will suddenly realize that you have all sorts of free time. And the ability and desire to start spending that time on the things in your life that really matter. I can honestly say my marriage got better, my work environment got better, and my enjoyment of my hobbies got better. Why? Well I don't have to think about increasing my cancer risk because I don't have a dip in. And if I don't have a dip in, then I'm not jones'in for the time when I would put one in. So, the vicious cycle of dip...do I dip?...should I dip?...what if I dip?...well, I kinda want a dip...oh hell I'll just have one dip...is all bullshit and gone. Enjoy building your new life brother. It is nothing short of life saving. I quit with you today.
ZillahCowboy

Funny how I remember srans telling me to do the same thing a little while back... I took his advice and I suggest you take it as well.

Get outside and look around. Soak it in. This is a big day in your life! Go for a walk and remember this day. You are free today. Free from the slavery brought on by the nic B. And that my friend is priceless!

I love to see quitters come out of the dark and catch the glimpse of how beautiful life without nicotine is. The guys above me are 3 great dudes and badass quitters. You have the right attitude Grady. Glad you joined us.