MThomas may I borrow a line from you:Â Christmas Eve day 99
As I set here and contemplate the past I am profoundly grateful to KTC for providing this forum to QUIT Dip!Â
I have been thinking about one of my many caves over the years. The particular cave that I was thinking about occurred in the spring of 1984. I had been dealing with some pretty stressful times at home and at work. I had been nicotine free for about 3 1/2 yrs. I remember buying a can of copensnuff and fondling the can. I don't think that I even opened the can the 1st day. I knew that I shouldn't do it. But the cave had been planned. I eventually convinced myself that I could be a casual dipper only using when I had really stressful days. WRONG! Soon I was using more and more often that I ever had. My next personal rationalization was that I would stop when things got easier. And on and on and on! This was followed by numerous half assed attempts to stop, most of them because my wife caught me red handed.Â
99 days ago as I flushed that stash I told you that I cried. Since that day I have had other experiences that have brought tears to my eyes. One was a couple weeks ago when Grizz Dipper 18 text me and told me he had thrown his stash out. Others have been either helping a fellow quitter or being helped by one of you myself.Â
Tonight I set at this keyboard and the tears are so very close to the surface, not because I miss the old companion, not because I am overwhelmed with a satisfaction of accomplishment, not because of my excitement to board the TRAIN OF FAME. But my reason is something that can only be understood by one who has stayed on this path of quit and joined with his or her fellow addicts to grind this addiction into the ground. It is the BROTHERHOOD, ACCOUNTABILITY and SUCCESS that we find here.
I can never thank everyone enough for the love and fellowship that I feel here. I'm not going to try to mention each of you just know that I am profoundly grateful to everyone. I will continue to be on your ass if I see you slack off and I will be there to help pull you through a funk. Like wise I will expect nothing less from you, if I am less than enthusiastic call me out on it, if you catch me licking my wounds or feeling sorry for myself point out my errors, if I am slow at posting roll I expect to have a text checking up on me.
I feel just like a little kid. I'm not going to sleep tonight, rather I'm waiting until 2.27 am (exactly 100 days since my 1st post) and post roll for the 100th time with July Freedom Lovin' Junkies (BOQ)
What is this wet salty discharge coming from my eyes? I don't cry. I don't eat quiche but I certainly can love. I loved everything about this post. WT the first time I noticed you on the site is when you told Bruce to lay off another quitter. I was relatively new but my new addiction was coming to KTC to laugh. I loved the chatter and the nic rages were so fun.
When you and Bruce went at it, I knew I liked you both. You both had passion about people and quitting. So as I sit here on your Christmas eve, I can only smile and look back at how awesome this journey has been. I loved fighting the nic bitch side by side with you. I too expect that it will continue.
The rest of my thoughts I'll PM you.
Well done sir, proud to be quit with you DICK FACE! 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I told Shelly and the kids about that. They just laughed. Later, we were loading the boat for lake powell. I was barking orders. My daughter looked at me and said, "Calm down dick face!" Everyone rolled....even I had to look away and laugh.
