Author Topic: This Time Is For Real  (Read 526285 times)

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Offline KingNothing

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #333 on: September 17, 2015, 11:37:00 AM »
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.
Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!
Good for you Candyman, you deserved a break. Prayers work! Hope it works out for the best.
"Fuck nicotine dude. You don't need it. And you don't want it. It didn't do a thing for you and you know it." - worktowin
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Offline pab1964

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #332 on: September 17, 2015, 10:25:00 AM »
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.
Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline jimthins

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #331 on: September 17, 2015, 10:00:00 AM »
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.

Offline cjoy

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #330 on: September 17, 2015, 09:46:00 AM »
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
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Offline MN_Ben

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #329 on: September 17, 2015, 08:42:00 AM »
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

Offline ChickDip

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #328 on: September 17, 2015, 02:01:00 AM »
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
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Offline Candoit

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #327 on: September 17, 2015, 01:24:00 AM »
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Offline Candoit

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #326 on: September 16, 2015, 10:29:00 PM »
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Offline pab1964

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #325 on: September 14, 2015, 09:18:00 PM »
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
Great progress dude. Well done.
Candy man , way to go, I see you're moving on with your life. Damn happy for you. If you need anything pm me please. Hope you sale 25 Toyota before Christmas! Quit on!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline worktowin

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #324 on: September 14, 2015, 08:59:00 PM »
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
Great progress dude. Well done.

Offline Candoit

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #323 on: September 14, 2015, 05:47:00 PM »
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Offline Thumblewort

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #322 on: September 14, 2015, 09:46:00 AM »
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
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Offline Candoit

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #321 on: September 13, 2015, 08:29:00 AM »
I have read the post by 'dromes brother about yesterday +1, several times. It always stands apart. About 2 days ago it dawned on me. Through out my quit, when I log on to live chat in the evening; was asked how it was going I would always respond "made it another +1." That +1 is another notch in the belt, but it is just as important to remember how far you have come. So put them together...duh 'facepalm''

So I have taken 'dromes proflic yesterday +1 and have it the Candy Man's spin.... (9/13/15) 418 +1's

I have done this one day at a time (+1) 418 times. I plan on repeating this process for as long as the good Lord keeps me here.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Offline pab1964

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #320 on: September 10, 2015, 07:09:00 AM »
Quote from: Candoit
300th post in my intro.

'coolshades

Refill please? Tap that keg of Kool Aid and pound it. No matter the day a cup of KTC Kool Aid hydrates the soul.
Hope things are getting better candy. Good luck on your new job! Quit on!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline Candoit

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Re: this time is for real
« Reply #319 on: September 09, 2015, 10:40:00 PM »
300th post in my intro.

'coolshades

Refill please? Tap that keg of Kool Aid and pound it. No matter the day a cup of KTC Kool Aid hydrates the soul.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.