Candy, our outlook on a situation often is a very large part of the eventual outcome. In sports for example, if you think you're beat the minute you step on the field, you've already lost. No amount of rah rah from your teammates, cheerleaders, or fans, will be able to divert the train you're riding to the L that day.
It's very easy to get down on yourself when things aren't going well, and the world seems poised to screw you over. On the other hand, "you ain't dead yet." That means the clock is still ticking for you.
As far as "fixing" you, I strongly encourage you to visit with a priest at you local church. Some of the most brutal situations I have ever faced, I have worked through with the help of a priest. I'm not a Bible thumper, but I go to church most Sundays, and God is a significant part of my life everyday. He has led me down some bumpy damn roads, but He has never, ever, put me in a situation I was unable to get through. There were times when I was positive that His streak was coming to an end, but every time He pulled through. He's like the Robert Horry of real life.
What I'm trying to say, is if you let God work His magic, He will.
I will pray for you brother. Grab the bootstraps, and do what you can today to have a better day than yesterday. If you can't find it in yourself to do so, find somebody that will help you get there. Whether that's God, a priest, your wife, a counselor, an old professor from college, doesn't matter. Find the spark again. It's like a water heater, the flame is always there and lit, but sometimes it can be a bitch to find.
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family as you battle this Candy.
