My Views On Racism
Frankly, I am not a racist.
I dominate everyone equally, no matter what their race may be.
However, I especially loathe racist people who cry about other people being racist, and you know what I mean.
You may have heard about the incident in Boston in which Henry Gates got arrested for acting like a douche.
As an example, arresting Professor Gates was "Not Racist."
If I had been the arresting officer, I'd have probably even shot him in the neck with my Tazer gun before I cuffed him.
Then you also might have heard a follow up story in which another police officer referred to Gates as a "banana eating jungle monkey".
Um..."Racist".
And by the way, the fact that you apologize for some dumb shit that you said doesn't mean that you're not a complete tool.
It probably just means that you're a loser who happened to get caught saying something dumb.
Anyway, remember the old commercial in which that Indian chief was sitting on his horse above the freeway, crying because of all the litter...?
That shit was racist.
First of all, no real Indian would cry over that shit.
A real Indian would have rode down there and scalped some commuters.
Even seeing that commercial when I was 6 years old, I always thought that the Chief was a pussy.
Anyway, it was also racist because it had an Indian in it.
It's simple - If you want me to stop throwing my shit out the window, just say so.
I will probably stop doing it - Not because I'm scared of you or anything, but because littering is not cool.
But why the fuck would you think that I would stop littering just because it makes Indians cry...?
First of all, any Indian chief that cries because I chucked my Big Gulp out the fucking window is a homo.
Chief Boo Hoo.
And second of all, littering is for fags and no one should do it.
So to correlate, if I'm a police officer and your neighbor calls to say that someone is breaking into your house, I'm going to show up and kick ass.
I don't care whether you're black, white, red, or somewhere in between - No one should bust into your crib.
I swear, it's sad to think that we've gotten to the point where two educated dudes can't hash some shit out on their own without creating a national smackdown.
And now they're both going to the White House to toss a couple of brews back with the President, so that Obama can use this as a "teachable moment"...?
What is he now, the dad from Little House On The Prarie or some shit...?
Christ, I'm pissed.
Let me clear my head a little and break this shit down for you in something other than a rant:
1. Don't Be Racist. It's unbecoming and it's also likely to get your face punched in.
2. Prevent Racism. You can do this by punching people in the face when they act all racist.
3. Don't Litter. Littering is gay and so are you if you're too lazy to throw your shit in the trash.
4. Don't Whine Like A Bitch. Whether you're an Indian or not, stop your fucking crying.
