My Take On PoliticsI can't believe how much my opinions rule.
Here's one -
Sarah Palin should have been elected.
There are a lot of reasons and virtually none of them are political.
Here are just a few, each of which is centered around the fact that she's smoking hot -
1. International Diplomacy Initiatives.To put it succinctly, we could finally fuck France.
Literally.
Nicolas Sarkozy is a hound for pussy.
In addition to being President of the world's gayest country, he's also banging this
broad.
Nice.
It wouldn't take much for him to start sniffing Palin's panties.
She could then, in essence, fuck France for us.
Joe Biden probably wouldn't do that, which technically makes him a traitor.
2. Federal Incentives In Exchange For Fiscal Responsibility.Imagine paying your federal taxes early.
Now imagine getting an autographed photo of Palin's beaver in return.
If only 2% of Americans are gay dudes, that means that the majority of the American tax-paying population would have at least some interest in seeing Sarah Palin's box.
About 140 million people file tax returns each year, but only about 30% of them file early.
Palin's crotch-basket could bring in a shit load of dough.
And that's positive cash flow, which leads to a balanced fucking budget.
Plus, if people stay inside to spank their shit, there would also be less crime.
You simply can't rob a bank if you're laying on your mom's couch pleasuring yourself.
Positive pornographic propaganda.
It's good for America.
3. Improvement Of De Facto Duties.Part of the job of the Vice President is attend functions and events that the President is otherwise to busy to go to.
If Palin went to some Ubangi chief's funeral or something, she could turn that shit into a party.
Just looking at her, you know she parties.
And even if she doesn't take her top off at the reception, dudes would stick around
because she just might...
Because no matter what country you're from, titties make everything more awesome.
4. We Win The Battle For The Environment.Sarah Palin is hot.
But she doesn't give a shit about polar bears.
If, using some of the above statistics, only 2% of environmental wackos are gay, then 98% of them would rather have Palin sit on their face than save an otter or something.
Inherently, the war to save the environment could be won by Palin's muff.
Simply put, if activists would be willing to chop down a tree in exchange for the opportunity to throw a shot into the VP, no one would give two shits about trees.
In fact, if you air dropped Sarah Palin onto that Greenpeace boat wearing nothing but a parka, those nut-munching doofs would take a dump in a whale's blowhole if you asked them to.
Problem solved.
In short, I think there was too much emphasis placed on Sarah Palin's intellect during the election campaign.
She's an idiot.
But the success of enterprises like Hooter's proves that American ingenuity knows no bounds and that the smartest capitalists on earth know that the power of pussy is priceless.
Feel free to comment, but keep in mind that if you disagree with my opinions, you are a communist.
