Introduction

[campbellmi13]

pea,

Thank you for taking the time to move your intro thread over. I am new to KTC and have been helped greatly in my quit by reading through your story. I hope to see you nine floors above me for many, many years on this journey.

Michael

[pky1520]

WOW.  So I just moved my entire Intro over from the old site and it was a pretty overwhelming experience.  Skimming 2.5 years of Quit will really make one think about the journey.  I am sorry that the formatting will look funky, especially with the replies from other people.  It looks like I'm just having some kind of crazy conversation with myself. 

At any rate, I wanted to move this because a big part of my quit journey played out on these pages.  There were a lot of successes and high points and certainly some low ones as well.  Where I am today (day 879) my quit is on autopilot.  I don't struggle with nicotine cravings, dip dreams or really anything.  There's a real temptation to go ahead and say "I'm cured" and move on.  I mean, the site format has changed, most of the tremendous history and culture of KTC is washed away and I really don't feel like I have as much to offer anymore.

HOWEVER, what I have learned on this site is that there is no "I'm cured."  Too many people have used too many insignificant, petty reasons to leave this site and have had to come back as a failure.  There's a quote that I love "I don't think I'd cave if I wasn't on Roll, but I know that I won't cave if I am."  Roll is my daily reminder that I need to stay vigilant and keep up the effort.  It doesn't take a lot of effort to stay quit at this point, but there is always that knowledge of what our kind of addiction can do to a person.  One slip could literally mean my life.  It's simply not worth the risk.

I spent a lot of time in this Intro trying to create posts that others will find useful.  This has been an invaluable tool for me and I hope that there are others that have found my contributions helpful in their own journey.  I don't feel like I have as much to contribute at the new stage that I'm at with this quit, because I'm so far removed from the day to day struggle.  At any rate, I hope that by moving this over to the new site, some other new quitter will find some value in my old words and maybe see a ray of hope that we're really not bullshitting when the vets say "this will get better."

[pky1520]

SAMRS:
Congratulations on two years, sir. Thank you for your example and your support!

[pky1520]

Two years ago I made the decision to quit nicotine for good. This site and the people who post here have made those two years a reality. I can't imagine what my life would look like if I hadn't quit when I did.

Freedom is attainable, it is worth it. It's hard, but it gets easier. If you’re reading this now and aren't sure if this site is for you or if you have what it takes, it is and you do. Post your Day One and get to work.

PAB1964:
Attaboy PKY! Congratulations on the 2 laps!

[pky1520]

Two years ago I made the decision to quit nicotine for good. This site and the people who post here have made those two years a reality. I can't imagine what my life would look like if I hadn't quit when I did.

Freedom is attainable, it is worth it. It's hard, but it gets easier. If you’re reading this now and aren't sure if this site is for you or if you have what it takes, it is and you do. Post your Day One and get to work.

[pky1520]

CHICKDIP:
Congrats on 700 pky!!!

FLLIPOUT:
Congrats on a other great milestone. And thanks for all you do here at KTC and especially for what you still do for the Dumpster Fire. Best Conductor evahhh!

[pky1520]

CHICKDIP:
Congrats on 700 pky!!!

[pky1520]

Hitting the 6th floor today. 600 days seemed impossibly large when I Quit, but here it is. The only way to do it is one day at a time, every damn day. Since finding KTC I haven't missed a single day of Roll. I think I haven't posted later than 10am more than once. It's not because I have no life and nothing else pulling on my time, it's because I value my Quit and I value the process here. This system has 100% worked for me and I will continue to work it.

There are times when posting Roll can be inconvenient and I just don't feel like it. I have thoughts of "Ugh, do I really need to keep doing this?" I have many days that start around 4am and it would be really easy to put Roll off till the afternoon, or to even miss altogether. But I don't do that. I set my alarm 15 minutes earlier and make sure my ass is firmly on the line for the next 24 hours. I'm not special, anyone can do that. Just make it a priority.

Quitting is no longer that hard. I can't remember the last time I had a real nicotine crave. I can be around tobacco users without any serious temptation. I can handle stress, anger, fun, boredom, pooping and all the other emotions that I used to associate with Dip, without any desire to go buy a can. In fact, the hardest part of the Quit now, seems to be remembering just how God-awful desperate and miserable I was during the early days. KTC keeps me honest to that fact. If I didn't have that daily accountability, it would be just too damn easy to romanticize the "old days."

I have not been super active with new Quitters in the past few months. Things are going good in life and I've been stretched pretty thin time wise. It's also difficult to maintain the emotional rawness of new Quit. I would like to start giving back again, but will have to be fairly selective in how I spend my time.

The message that I'd like to pass along to new or aspiring Quitters is that you will reach a new normal. Make your promise, keep it, do it again tomorrow. Follow that process enough times and you can have a new life, a life wherein some plastic can doesn't influence every decision you make.

[pky1520]

JEFFW:
congrats on 500 days

[pky1520]

500 Days. I don't have time for a huge update, but I'm pretty proud of this milestone.

I want to speak to the folks who cruise these Intros and think about quitting. Freedom is achievable and it is worth it. Quitting seems like this big, scary thing, something that you can't succeed at because you're somehow different or your circumstances make it tougher for you. You aren't. Every single one of us thought we couldn't do it at some point. I had basically accepted that dipping would just be the thing that kills me someday - everyone has to die from something right?

From my view on the fifth floor, I can see that all that addict bullshit we tell ourselves is one big lie. Freedom is achievable and it is worth it. Whatever "It" is for you, I can tell you that being a person who doesn't dip anymore is totally, unequivocally worth every minute of It. It's worth the fog, the craves, the lost sleep, the gained weight, the aches, the pains and the "loss." It's worth it because I can enjoy my life not being anchored to some plastic can of carcinogens. It's worth it because I don't always have to keep tabs on the cans hidden around the house. It's worth it because my brain no longer needs some extra substance to enjoy the things I should be able to enjoy on my own. My mood is no longer controlled by my access to a chemical. My health and integrity is no longer the price I have to pay to feel "normal." It's worth it.

It's also achievable. 500 days is stupid to a using addict. There's no frame of reference for what that is. It might as well be 50 years. I'm quit as fuck, but I'm also still very aware that the only reason I made it 500 days is because I actively quit on every single one of them. I know that if I want to be quit for 501 days, I need to stay actively quit. At this point it requires less vigilance and less work, but it still requires vigilance and work. Making that promise every day and keeping it. That keeps me quit today and it will keep me quit tomorrow. There's nothing special about me. I did it because I dug into the system here and made it work for me. The only difference between me and the people who come here and fail is that I picked up and used the tools available here and they chose not to. It's a simple choice. Get with the program and Quit, or don't get with the program and good luck on your own.

Thank you to all of the folks who have been a supportive force. There's always a focus on the negativity that can happen here, but the fact is, 99% of the interactions I've had here have been positive or at least constructive. This is a community of hard ass, quit as fuck, SOBs - that will drop everything to pick you up. If you put in, you will get back tenfold. Thank you all for helping to take me this far. Keep on quitting, stay focused and move forward.

[pky1520]

FLLIPOUT:
500!!!

Congrats on your half dangle, pky!!!

CHICKDIP:
Congrats pky on that half dangle!

[pky1520]

FLLIPOUT:
500!!!

Congrats on your half dangle, pky!!!

[pky1520]

Feeling like an update is due, as my last post was a pretty dramatic one.

Since I made that last post, I really discovered the depth and breadth of the KTC support system. I was very shortly inundated with messages of support, advice and offers to work together to make improvements. It was a humbling experience and I am extremely grateful to all who reached out. I have made some new friends and am thankful for that.

Since that post, I have made some pretty significant changes and have been following through on most of what I set out as a plan of action. I have been tracking my calories religiously and it has definitely impacted the way that I eat. I make exercise an actual priority and am cutting out the excuses for missing days that always tripped me up in the past. I am not yet seeing drastic results on the scale, but I have lost some weight. I also look and feel quite a bit better. I recognize that I still have a long way to go.

My first plan was to go the full month of August without any alcohol. After some reflection and discussion, I concluded that tee-totaling was not necessary and would create an elephant in the room during some family/ social events. That being said, I have kept the social drinking to a very moderate minimum and have curbed the compulsive drinking that is my bigger concern. There have been no binges and no hiding.

I have been posting in several "Getting Your Act Together" forums and have found these quit helpful. I will continue to post in these groups as way to hold myself accountable and to track progress.

The one major thing I've recognized is that there isn't one quick fix that can accomplish all of my goals. I have approached this as creating a sustainable healthier lifestyle as opposed to a temporary extreme change. I still struggle with the urge for this destructive, compulsive behavior, but by addressing it, I'm able to move past and stay on plan.

So in summary, it's going well, but it's still going. The only way to make big life adjustments is one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I'll have victories and setbacks, but I can see the changes and I feel really good about them. Thank you all for your interest and your support.

PHUCTUP:
We're all rooting for you, dude. You definitely sound more upbeat than you did a few weeks ago. And you DEFINITELY sound like you have more discipline with food than I do. Quitting drinking and dipping has caused me to eat A LOT. I've gained about 10 pounds in 94 days. Might have to join that weight loss forum, too. Ugh. Good luck with all the positives!!

WORKTOWIN:
Hey man It is now September and I thought Id check in.

Im in the booze biz in a big way. People getting drunk and falling down is what pays my electric bill. Im fortunate to be able to have a drink and stop. Many are not, and it sounds like you are one of them. Im glad you have recognized this and made adjustments. Out of control alcohol will destroy your life. That's right, a guy who pays his bills on booze is encouraging you to take part of his paycheck away. Ponder that for a minute.

Thanks for checking in - I appreciate the thoughts. It's been a good month. I'm sitting here in a pair of pants that I couldn't fit into when I made that post, along with a clear head.

I've kept the booze under control. I haven't given it up entirely, but I went the month of August (and the beginning of September) without waking up with a hangover. I've been up front with the people close to me about what's going on and they are helping to keep me honest. I've also used the groups here as an invaluable resource.

The trick will be maintaining the momentum. While most of the time I have no problem drinking responsibly, I also recognize that it's in me to lose control and to give in to destructive tendencies. Just like with nicotine, it's just going to require the will to win every single day.

Again, thanks for checking in.

[pky1520]

Feeling like an update is due, as my last post was a pretty dramatic one.

Since I made that last post, I really discovered the depth and breadth of the KTC support system. I was very shortly inundated with messages of support, advice and offers to work together to make improvements. It was a humbling experience and I am extremely grateful to all who reached out. I have made some new friends and am thankful for that.

Since that post, I have made some pretty significant changes and have been following through on most of what I set out as a plan of action. I have been tracking my calories religiously and it has definitely impacted the way that I eat. I make exercise an actual priority and am cutting out the excuses for missing days that always tripped me up in the past. I am not yet seeing drastic results on the scale, but I have lost some weight. I also look and feel quite a bit better. I recognize that I still have a long way to go.

My first plan was to go the full month of August without any alcohol. After some reflection and discussion, I concluded that tee-totaling was not necessary and would create an elephant in the room during some family/ social events. That being said, I have kept the social drinking to a very moderate minimum and have curbed the compulsive drinking that is my bigger concern. There have been no binges and no hiding.

I have been posting in several "Getting Your Act Together" forums and have found these quit helpful. I will continue to post in these groups as way to hold myself accountable and to track progress.

The one major thing I've recognized is that there isn't one quick fix that can accomplish all of my goals. I have approached this as creating a sustainable healthier lifestyle as opposed to a temporary extreme change. I still struggle with the urge for this destructive, compulsive behavior, but by addressing it, I'm able to move past and stay on plan.

So in summary, it's going well, but it's still going. The only way to make big life adjustments is one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I'll have victories and setbacks, but I can see the changes and I feel really good about them. Thank you all for your interest and your support.

PHUCTUP:
We're all rooting for you, dude. You definitely sound more upbeat than you did a few weeks ago. And you DEFINITELY sound like you have more discipline with food than I do. Quitting drinking and dipping has caused me to eat A LOT. I've gained about 10 pounds in 94 days. Might have to join that weight loss forum, too. Ugh. Good luck with all the positives!!

WORKTOWIN:
Hey man It is now September and I thought Id check in.

Im in the booze biz in a big way. People getting drunk and falling down is what pays my electric bill. Im fortunate to be able to have a drink and stop. Many are not, and it sounds like you are one of them. Im glad you have recognized this and made adjustments. Out of control alcohol will destroy your life. That's right, a guy who pays his bills on booze is encouraging you to take part of his paycheck away. Ponder that for a minute.

[pky1520]

Feeling like an update is due, as my last post was a pretty dramatic one.

Since I made that last post, I really discovered the depth and breadth of the KTC support system. I was very shortly inundated with messages of support, advice and offers to work together to make improvements. It was a humbling experience and I am extremely grateful to all who reached out. I have made some new friends and am thankful for that.

Since that post, I have made some pretty significant changes and have been following through on most of what I set out as a plan of action. I have been tracking my calories religiously and it has definitely impacted the way that I eat. I make exercise an actual priority and am cutting out the excuses for missing days that always tripped me up in the past. I am not yet seeing drastic results on the scale, but I have lost some weight. I also look and feel quite a bit better. I recognize that I still have a long way to go.

My first plan was to go the full month of August without any alcohol. After some reflection and discussion, I concluded that tee-totaling was not necessary and would create an elephant in the room during some family/ social events. That being said, I have kept the social drinking to a very moderate minimum and have curbed the compulsive drinking that is my bigger concern. There have been no binges and no hiding.

I have been posting in several "Getting Your Act Together" forums and have found these quit helpful. I will continue to post in these groups as way to hold myself accountable and to track progress.

The one major thing I've recognized is that there isn't one quick fix that can accomplish all of my goals. I have approached this as creating a sustainable healthier lifestyle as opposed to a temporary extreme change. I still struggle with the urge for this destructive, compulsive behavior, but by addressing it, I'm able to move past and stay on plan.

So in summary, it's going well, but it's still going. The only way to make big life adjustments is one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I'll have victories and setbacks, but I can see the changes and I feel really good about them. Thank you all for your interest and your support.

PHUCTUP:
We're all rooting for you, dude. You definitely sound more upbeat than you did a few weeks ago. And you DEFINITELY sound like you have more discipline with food than I do. Quitting drinking and dipping has caused me to eat A LOT. I've gained about 10 pounds in 94 days. Might have to join that weight loss forum, too. Ugh. Good luck with all the positives!!