I"m in- just found my way

[Jayhawk]

I've noticed that the more I read about this site, the addiction, the quit... everything seems to make sense in a way that makes me pissed that I didn't see clearly before I quit... Make sense?

I could see how booze and other drugs could cloud your ability to make judgments. That makes sense. We have all heard from probably Junior High on how drugs affect your decision making.

BUT NEVER DID ANYONE TEACH US NICOTINE COULD DO THAT!!!!

I never - NEVER considered nicotine a drug that interfered with my brain.

In fact - where I grew up, dip (either tins or pouches) was something manly men did. If you couldn't handle Copenhagen, you were a pussy.

Man... thanks for posting that. Good read.

By the way, I'm proud to be quit today with you and the rest of the folks here at KTC who now understand what this shit really does.

Jayhawk.

[Diesel2112]

So i just have to vent this...... a newer KTC bro, rdad, shared with me that online I could get a free copy of Freedom from Nicotine by Polito and that it would help me learn about the addiction and the recovery we are all going through.
I got the ebook, read it, and my hatred of nicotine jumped through the roof, blasted off into space! It never really sunk in for me before just how evil the addiction to this particular compound is. For some reason, reading what that book explained in chapter 1 made things so much more clear, and really set me off.

The damned stuff actually takes over our dopamine receptor system! Almost completely! This is a very basic-level system that we need for our own survival and survival of the species. It's extreme hard-wiring. To quote from the book, "Our dopamine pathways are the source of survival instinct anticipation, motivation and reinforcement. Hard-wired instincts include eating food, drinking liquids, accomplishment,companionship, group acceptance, reproduction and child rearing" THESE ARE VERY BASIC THINGS, and the damned drug takes over that pathway and that is what causes us to not be able to quit it without a hell of a fight! This really is about the scariest type of chemical you could put into your body! And that's just the nicotine! Not to mention the other shit, natural and engineered, that's in tobacco! But its the nicotine that makes us into slaves, and that bitch is one nasty, scary, evil piece of hell that I never want anything to do with any more, that I wish somebody would really have helped me understand in my thick head earlier, that the govenment wouldn't have helped support the lies of, and that I am now truly prepared and willing to fight on behalf of all of us innocent humans from now on.

Sheesh! Eating, drinking liquids-- yep, my chew crave was about the same- because nicbitch took over that wiring. And companionship- NO WONDER THE BITCH WAS MY "LITTLE FRIEND" --- she fuckin took over the neural pathways that encourage us to make friends for our own good. "You dont need any more friends, you have me" she whispers "you always have and you always will." That's EXACTLY the impact the addiction taking over the receptor pathways that it does. What the HELL?!?!?!? This is a weed from hell!!

No wonder I eventuall noticed I didn't feel compelled to be very sociable when I was chewing, that it made me withdraw. No wonder so many of us report how we used to value our "alone time" with our lover slut nic bitch! No wonder some of the terms used to describe the addiction, e.g., "sucking poison from the nic-bitch's tit" are really so fitting- the addiction is that deep, that basic, to where it is actually replacing our own SURVIVAL instincts! j

I just had to vent this- i'm sure some of you, if not most, already understood, but it finally just clicked with me, and I"m feeling it very deeplyh now how much of a game of russian roulette with the odds against you any further cave is for anyone who ever gets the balls to quit. It's important that we know how bad this stuff really is, and I keep learning more that blows me away!

Quit on fellow quitters, this is serious business and I am more thankful and proud than ever to be quitting daily with you.

Of your up for another read, try "the easy way to quit smoking" by Alan Carr.

It talks about quitting smoking but it's really a brilliant book on lies and falsehoods of nicotine.

It helped my quit a great deal. I still read it.

[brettlees]

So i just have to vent this...... a newer KTC bro, rdad, shared with me that online I could get a free copy of Freedom from Nicotine by Polito and that it would help me learn about the addiction and the recovery we are all going through.
I got the ebook, read it, and my hatred of nicotine jumped through the roof, blasted off into space! It never really sunk in for me before just how evil the addiction to this particular compound is. For some reason, reading what that book explained in chapter 1 made things so much more clear, and really set me off.

The damned stuff actually takes over our dopamine receptor system! Almost completely! This is a very basic-level system that we need for our own survival and survival of the species. It's extreme hard-wiring. To quote from the book, "Our dopamine pathways are the source of survival instinct anticipation, motivation and reinforcement. Hard-wired instincts include eating food, drinking liquids, accomplishment,companionship, group acceptance, reproduction and child rearing" THESE ARE VERY BASIC THINGS, and the damned drug takes over that pathway and that is what causes us to not be able to quit it without a hell of a fight! This really is about the scariest type of chemical you could put into your body! And that's just the nicotine! Not to mention the other shit, natural and engineered, that's in tobacco! But its the nicotine that makes us into slaves, and that bitch is one nasty, scary, evil piece of hell that I never want anything to do with any more, that I wish somebody would really have helped me understand in my thick head earlier, that the govenment wouldn't have helped support the lies of, and that I am now truly prepared and willing to fight on behalf of all of us innocent humans from now on.

Sheesh! Eating, drinking liquids-- yep, my chew crave was about the same- because nicbitch took over that wiring. And companionship- NO WONDER THE BITCH WAS MY "LITTLE FRIEND" --- she fuckin took over the neural pathways that encourage us to make friends for our own good. "You dont need any more friends, you have me" she whispers "you always have and you always will." That's EXACTLY the impact the addiction taking over the receptor pathways that it does. What the HELL?!?!?!? This is a weed from hell!!

No wonder I eventuall noticed I didn't feel compelled to be very sociable when I was chewing, that it made me withdraw. No wonder so many of us report how we used to value our "alone time" with our lover slut nic bitch! No wonder some of the terms used to describe the addiction, e.g., "sucking poison from the nic-bitch's tit" are really so fitting- the addiction is that deep, that basic, to where it is actually replacing our own SURVIVAL instincts! j

I just had to vent this- i'm sure some of you, if not most, already understood, but it finally just clicked with me, and I"m feeling it very deeplyh now how much of a game of russian roulette with the odds against you any further cave is for anyone who ever gets the balls to quit. It's important that we know how bad this stuff really is, and I keep learning more that blows me away!

Quit on fellow quitters, this is serious business and I am more thankful and proud than ever to be quitting daily with you.

[Pinched]

Quit date 43, captains log.....

I gotta say i saw in Pinched's intro thread where he had a rough day, and there was this convergence of the all-KTC all-stars squad of quitters (from the time I've been here at least, to allow props for others that have scaled back or "retired" earlier) who gathered around and offerred support/encouragement. That was an amazing show of "quit force" and I was simply impressed by the depth to which we can earn strong people having our backs when we need it around here. Amazing.

I also have some new thoughts to log, and of course symptoms update for myself to see in the future so I damn sure dont put myself through this addiction recovery suck process any more. So I still get headaches, maybe once per day on average. Is it withdrawal/rewiring or some other factor- i don't know. And my head still gets fuzzy at random times. Could it be the new rush of oxygen after 30+ years of enslavement? I don't know. I still get anxiety, frequently, but most of the time that's kind of fun because i'm a bit of an adrenaline junky too so I ride the buzz of it, all natural and no UST poison involved. And road rage-- wow! Today it's snowy and bad traffic here, and I could have tore some stupid mother-f-ers' heads off and pissed and more down their throats if I would have indulged my road rage feelings- scary, gotta get a handle on that one! And, i'm not sleeping well yet. Hard to get to sleep, then I wake at 4 am and stay awake-- about an hour and a half earlier than needed. Is this withdrawal/rewiring still, or other stresses given that I'm having some tough times at home for the past month? I don't know.

So, there are a lot of "I don't know" the real causes of some things that may be continued withdrawal/rewiring symptoms. I am curious, if anyone has opinions, but in the end, I found myself realizing last night that I really don't give a damn what they are from, in a way-- my continuing quit and the nic-bitch's protestations and tricks, or my stressful home life situation. Either way, I am moving my life towards the better and that's what matters. The home life will work itself out however it does, and I will still be quit. Maybe it would have all fallen apart at a different time, or maybe my quitting somehow helped me step into a setting things right mode and hurried it along.Either way, I don't have the added problem of a nicotine addiction and poison slowly killing me in addition to whatever else I am dealing with.

Sure, there have been some tough times to make through in this quit- symptoms and the like, but I'm making it and determined to continue to make it, and i have a much better approach than most due to KTC. So fuck it all, whatever I am dealing wiht is mine to deal with and I know my course is set in a better direction than it has been the entire rest of my adult life. So fuck it all, I"ll deal with it all, and I'm a damn sight better off than I've ever been before, and I'm glad about that. Fuck the nic-bitch, fuck UST, fuck caving, fuck everyone's addiction, I want to beat this addiction out of every where it exists sometimes, including in other people!!! I know I"m still in the early stages of my own quit, so maybe I can't be super-nic-bitch killer yet, but I can be my own nic-bitch killer for now and do that well, and I continue to be up to the task.

I have to say, Pinched's post I mentioned early triggered a lot of this for me, as I realized really deeply, maybe for the first time so deeply, that whatever life deals us, once we are quit at least we don't have the damned nicotine addiction involved to deal with as well. And whatever problems come up, it would be stupid/silly/assenine to think that somehow they created a reason to chew again. Fricking ridiculous! And though kicking the addiction is tough, i am starting to feel some clarity and freedom, and I want SO MUCH MORE of that! I'll continue to earn my freedom day by day, and i'm so thankful for all of you who know about this struggle as well and are on this journey with me.

Brother I am glad that you read through all that and saw the same exact thing that I did. That kind of outpouring is why I am as active around here. Without some of the veterans here I would have folded my hand a long time ago.

This whole reasoning for accountability is why I also choose to post roll daily with damn near 20 quit groups. Each of those groups has at least one quitter in it that stepped up and either handed me my ass or grabbed my hand to help me.

Unfortunately there has been a lot of other distractions and other quitters sharing their discontent with the veterans, moderators and/or admins. I cannot say that I am 100% in support of every decision made but I can support the fact that a decision was made and followed through on. I post here for my own accountability and in turn I opened myself up let people know who I am and have gained some lifelong friends in the process.

I go back to one quitter in chat that is not the most active guy on here anymore but that Son of a Bitch saved me way early. I had one Keyboard cowboy that had me so mad I threw my mouse across the room because what he said to me hurt deep into the fiber of my being and I know his ass wouldn't have the balls to say that to my face, but this veteran quitter pulled me aside got my phone number and called me to calm me down before the time bomb in my head went off and injured anyone else.

You should also be aware that your posts that dictate the physical and emotional feelings you face daily also help those of us that are a few days ahead of you remember that shitty part, that crappy day or even that great day. All this helps this Brotherhood of quitters static and current.

Great post and thank you for sharing!

[brettlees]

Quit date 43, captains log.....

I gotta say i saw in Pinched's intro thread where he had a rough day, and there was this convergence of the all-KTC all-stars squad of quitters (from the time I've been here at least, to allow props for others that have scaled back or "retired" earlier) who gathered around and offerred support/encouragement. That was an amazing show of "quit force" and I was simply impressed by the depth to which we can earn strong people having our backs when we need it around here. Amazing.

I also have some new thoughts to log, and of course symptoms update for myself to see in the future so I damn sure dont put myself through this addiction recovery suck process any more. So I still get headaches, maybe once per day on average. Is it withdrawal/rewiring or some other factor- i don't know. And my head still gets fuzzy at random times. Could it be the new rush of oxygen after 30+ years of enslavement? I don't know. I still get anxiety, frequently, but most of the time that's kind of fun because i'm a bit of an adrenaline junky too so I ride the buzz of it, all natural and no UST poison involved. And road rage-- wow! Today it's snowy and bad traffic here, and I could have tore some stupid mother-f-ers' heads off and pissed and more down their throats if I would have indulged my road rage feelings- scary, gotta get a handle on that one! And, i'm not sleeping well yet. Hard to get to sleep, then I wake at 4 am and stay awake-- about an hour and a half earlier than needed. Is this withdrawal/rewiring still, or other stresses given that I'm having some tough times at home for the past month? I don't know.

So, there are a lot of "I don't know" the real causes of some things that may be continued withdrawal/rewiring symptoms. I am curious, if anyone has opinions, but in the end, I found myself realizing last night that I really don't give a damn what they are from, in a way-- my continuing quit and the nic-bitch's protestations and tricks, or my stressful home life situation. Either way, I am moving my life towards the better and that's what matters. The home life will work itself out however it does, and I will still be quit. Maybe it would have all fallen apart at a different time, or maybe my quitting somehow helped me step into a setting things right mode and hurried it along.Either way, I don't have the added problem of a nicotine addiction and poison slowly killing me in addition to whatever else I am dealing with.

Sure, there have been some tough times to make through in this quit- symptoms and the like, but I'm making it and determined to continue to make it, and i have a much better approach than most due to KTC. So fuck it all, whatever I am dealing wiht is mine to deal with and I know my course is set in a better direction than it has been the entire rest of my adult life. So fuck it all, I"ll deal with it all, and I'm a damn sight better off than I've ever been before, and I'm glad about that. Fuck the nic-bitch, fuck UST, fuck caving, fuck everyone's addiction, I want to beat this addiction out of every where it exists sometimes, including in other people!!! I know I"m still in the early stages of my own quit, so maybe I can't be super-nic-bitch killer yet, but I can be my own nic-bitch killer for now and do that well, and I continue to be up to the task.

I have to say, Pinched's post I mentioned early triggered a lot of this for me, as I realized really deeply, maybe for the first time so deeply, that whatever life deals us, once we are quit at least we don't have the damned nicotine addiction involved to deal with as well. And whatever problems come up, it would be stupid/silly/assenine to think that somehow they created a reason to chew again. Fricking ridiculous! And though kicking the addiction is tough, i am starting to feel some clarity and freedom, and I want SO MUCH MORE of that! I'll continue to earn my freedom day by day, and i'm so thankful for all of you who know about this struggle as well and are on this journey with me.

[brettlees]

I say congrats on your birthday present to yourself. We got along road ahead of us ,but if we use this site to its full advantage all of us together can get through this road one day at a time.

Heck yeah but we gotta be on one road or another and I'm proud to be on this particular one with you bro- all us Killing the Can types are changing lives and dropping nic bitch to the curb withou mercy! Thanks for being in my journey!

keep documenting your '1st time sans nic' it's a great ride and only gets better. I would caution you about posting in April 12 - we're a little off center in here 'winker'

Thanks for the support! and LOL! I thought that might be my sort of crowd in there!

[cbird65]

I say congrats on your birthday present to yourself. We got along road ahead of us ,but if we use this site to its full advantage all of us together can get through this road one day at a time.

Heck yeah but we gotta be on one road or another and I'm proud to be on this particular one with you bro- all us Killing the Can types are changing lives and dropping nic bitch to the curb withou mercy! Thanks for being in my journey!

keep documenting your '1st time sans nic' it's a great ride and only gets better. I would caution you about posting in April 12 - we're a little off center in here 'winker'

[brettlees]

I say congrats on your birthday present to yourself. We got along road ahead of us ,but if we use this site to its full advantage all of us together can get through this road one day at a time.

Heck yeah but we gotta be on one road or another and I'm proud to be on this particular one with you bro- all us Killing the Can types are changing lives and dropping nic bitch to the curb withou mercy! Thanks for being in my journey!

[Dave1903]

I say congrats on your birthday present to yourself. We got along road ahead of us ,but if we use this site to its full advantage all of us together can get through this road one day at a time.

[brettlees]

So yesterday was my birthday, and i want to put down in writing that but for finding this site and the support and education it provides, the event would have gone something like the past umpteen birthdays, new years days, first of certain months, anniversaries of certain events, first day of seasons, etc : I would have planneed it as a quit date. Probably taking the "last chew" the night before, intending to be clean the whole actual birthday. The next morning I would get up, and might subconsciously take the morning dip. Or, alternatively, wait a while then after breakfast have "just one more, to celebrate that this is the last day". Then, later, probably after lunch, take one more, to "Celebrate, because this is the last day, there will be no more after this, I'm quitting." Then, at least by after supper, "Just one more, to celebrate, because starting tonight, on this special day, I will be clean, quit." Then, before, bed, "Just one more, last dip, because I'm quitting- this was my last day, i'll be clean every day after this one from here on out." Lather, rinse, and repeat the next day. For years! What a trap. After a few years, I even knew inside I'd do it each time i chose the next "quit" date.

Instead of another failed birthday, yesterday I gave myself a day free of nicotine in any form. It really passed without much significance to me, and I"m happy about that really. I succeeded on that day, first time ever. What a gift! That's plenty for me. Maybe I"ll have a new personal holiday in the future- maybe October 23 will be my "life day" in honor of the day I decided to give myself freedom from the nicbitch. Wouldn't have done it without stumbling on this site and this site's urging me to drop all nicotine, including the nicotine gum i had been on exclusively for 22 days before. Wouldn't have done it without Bean, traumagnet, and ParadigmDawg popping in for immediate support once I first posted, making sure i was prepared and completely nicotine free. And I wouldn't have made it through to celebrate it by being nic free again today, without each and every person who has ever posted in my thread, sent me a PM, sent a text, or posted things for the benefit of other quitters like me that I have read here. So thanks everyone, here's to you! And here's to me, dammit! I did it! Next up, i'll be doing a +1 QLF with all my bros here!

Symptom log: still big strong craves, 3-5 times a day. They are not very tempting anymore, so I expect a change in nicbitch tactics. Bring it bitch, i'll smack it down.

[ihatecope]

Thanks for the encouragement guys!  

I noticed that Syndrome had posted a list of questions for Feb 14 FFFoQ to answer. Reminded me that i never did a full intro here either. I'll answer the questions he posted, below.

Who are you?  Brett

Are you married? No, but living together for 4 years, with a "common law" wife, and that seems to be coming apart at the seams lately. Was married for 3 years once, ended in divorce.

Do you have kids? 3 steps that I"ve taken as my own for the past 6+ years: 12 yr Girl, 10 yo boy, 8 yo boy (9 this week!). 

Where you from? South Dakota originally, Colorado now, with long stays in California, Kansas in between.

How Old are you? 49 and holding!

Worst trigger so far?  Habitual times- when  I let my guard down.

What do you do for a living? attorney- Native American rights and Estate planning, mostly, for the past 17 years

How long and what did you dip? 1st dips- 5th grade in summers, mostly leaf. Cope and Skoal later, but didn't get addicted until later in high school- Skoal then. Probably age 17. Cope came later- college. Cope was my main mistress ever since. The fresher the better. I"ve been a master ninja dipper for decades. and now I"m going to be a master quitter and quitter sherpa for others, for decades to come!

There it is, for the record. Glad to quit with you all, this is a life-changing site!

Hey Brettlees, Didn't know you were an attorney too. There are a bunch of us on this site. Heck, we may be running a close second to drivers as the most common profession around here.
My intro has a few updates about dipping in trial and my first dip free court appearances, might be worth a look.
Keep up the good work

Thanks Slim- sent you a PM too. Your intro string has been worth a look for me for a lot more than just shared job experiences, too! For years, I thought I must be the only one in my job that had a dirty little secret. Figured it was from my "backwoods" childhood. Don't know what to think now what i'm discovering it's a common profession here- other than I"m glad we're all quit here!

Sharks are mean quit winners. I'm glad you are in my accountability network. QLF

[brettlees]

Thanks for the encouragement guys! 

I noticed that Syndrome had posted a list of questions for Feb 14 FFFoQ to answer. Reminded me that i never did a full intro here either. I'll answer the questions he posted, below.

Who are you?  Brett

Are you married? No, but living together for 4 years, with a "common law" wife, and that seems to be coming apart at the seams lately. Was married for 3 years once, ended in divorce.

Do you have kids? 3 steps that I"ve taken as my own for the past 6+ years: 12 yr Girl, 10 yo boy, 8 yo boy (9 this week!). 

Where you from? South Dakota originally, Colorado now, with long stays in California, Kansas in between.

How Old are you? 49 and holding!

Worst trigger so far?  Habitual times- when  I let my guard down.

What do you do for a living? attorney- Native American rights and Estate planning, mostly, for the past 17 years

How long and what did you dip? 1st dips- 5th grade in summers, mostly leaf. Cope and Skoal later, but didn't get addicted until later in high school- Skoal then. Probably age 17. Cope came later- college. Cope was my main mistress ever since. The fresher the better. I"ve been a master ninja dipper for decades. and now I"m going to be a master quitter and quitter sherpa for others, for decades to come!

There it is, for the record. Glad to quit with you all, this is a life-changing site!

Hey Brettlees, Didn't know you were an attorney too. There are a bunch of us on this site. Heck, we may be running a close second to drivers as the most common profession around here.
My intro has a few updates about dipping in trial and my first dip free court appearances, might be worth a look.
Keep up the good work

Thanks Slim- sent you a PM too. Your intro string has been worth a look for me for a lot more than just shared job experiences, too! For years, I thought I must be the only one in my job that had a dirty little secret. Figured it was from my "backwoods" childhood. Don't know what to think now what i'm discovering it's a common profession here- other than I"m glad we're all quit here!

[CaliforniaSlim]

Thanks for the encouragement guys!

I noticed that Syndrome had posted a list of questions for Feb 14 FFFoQ to answer. Reminded me that i never did a full intro here either. I'll answer the questions he posted, below.

Who are you? Brett

Are you married? No, but living together for 4 years, with a "common law" wife, and that seems to be coming apart at the seams lately. Was married for 3 years once, ended in divorce.

Do you have kids? 3 steps that I"ve taken as my own for the past 6+ years: 12 yr Girl, 10 yo boy, 8 yo boy (9 this week!).

Where you from? South Dakota originally, Colorado now, with long stays in California, Kansas in between.

How Old are you? 49 and holding!

Worst trigger so far? Habitual times- when I let my guard down.

What do you do for a living? attorney- Native American rights and Estate planning, mostly, for the past 17 years

How long and what did you dip? 1st dips- 5th grade in summers, mostly leaf. Cope and Skoal later, but didn't get addicted until later in high school- Skoal then. Probably age 17. Cope came later- college. Cope was my main mistress ever since. The fresher the better. I"ve been a master ninja dipper for decades. and now I"m going to be a master quitter and quitter sherpa for others, for decades to come!

There it is, for the record. Glad to quit with you all, this is a life-changing site!

Hey Brettlees, Didn't know you were an attorney too. There are a bunch of us on this site. Heck, we may be running a close second to drivers as the most common profession around here.
My intro has a few updates about dipping in trial and my first dip free court appearances, might be worth a look.
Keep up the good work

[brettlees]

Thanks for the encouragement guys!

I noticed that Syndrome had posted a list of questions for Feb 14 FFFoQ to answer. Reminded me that i never did a full intro here either. I'll answer the questions he posted, below.

Who are you? Brett

Are you married? No, but living together for 4 years, with a "common law" wife, and that seems to be coming apart at the seams lately. Was married for 3 years once, ended in divorce.

Do you have kids? 3 steps that I"ve taken as my own for the past 6+ years: 12 yr Girl, 10 yo boy, 8 yo boy (9 this week!).

Where you from? South Dakota originally, Colorado now, with long stays in California, Kansas in between.

How Old are you? 49 and holding!

Worst trigger so far? Habitual times- when I let my guard down.

What do you do for a living? attorney- Native American rights and Estate planning, mostly, for the past 17 years

How long and what did you dip? 1st dips- 5th grade in summers, mostly leaf. Cope and Skoal later, but didn't get addicted until later in high school- Skoal then. Probably age 17. Cope came later- college. Cope was my main mistress ever since. The fresher the better. I"ve been a master ninja dipper for decades. and now I"m going to be a master quitter and quitter sherpa for others, for decades to come!

There it is, for the record. Glad to quit with you all, this is a life-changing site!

[Jayhawk]

What's up man?  How'd your weekend go?

Guess I better do an update- thanks for checking. On day 34 now.
The weekend quit was good overall. My gums are a little weird again, but it seems ok, they are probably just still heaing from decads of abuse. This is surely the longest they haven't been assaulted by shitjuice in at least a decade, when I last stopped for a while (using wellbutrin that time, but quitting for others and not myself).

The craves have changed. I don't have any fear of complacency, even though the fog seems to be cleared up pretty well lately. FOr a while, the craves were like ninja attacks with knives- sneaky, sharp, and deep. Now, they feel more like defensive linemen sacking an unaware quarterback. Sometimes when my guard is down, i'm not being wary at all, WHAM!!! big crave, hard, feeling like it is something purely and strongly habitual. THere doesn't seem to be any particular sort of trigger, rather than just being unaware. I"m still having spouse struggles-- and so craves from time to time there can be expected. I still get a crave now and then when I"m alone and aware of it. And I get them at other random times. They strike really hard, but i get through them. THere are probably 3-5 big ones per day.

I'm seeing these ones as strength training for later. Because they hit hard, I really have to try hard to get through them, and I do get through. Im thinking this little period will help prepare me for later, when I might get more complacent, and a crave come out of nowhere. At least I'll have some experience smacking some freight-train style craves back down (or maybe alternatively, flowing through them to let them pass).

Reading everyone else's posts continues to be source of strength to me, as to messages from some quit bros and sherpas. Thanks guys. I"m also noticing that it does help me to try and help others, just as the site promises. Proud to quit with KTC today!

Nice update. I remember that change in nic attack style too. I think it is your nic part of your brain realizing that the usual attacks don't work anymore, and is poking around for other paths.
As they kept telling me... You are making good use of your KTC library card... Keep using it. Reread some things you already read.. They will have new meaning at this point in your quit.
Stay strong... PM me if you need another number.
Glad to be quit with you

Keep going. Things are changing and will change, but for the better. Sounds like the craves and fog is easing up - and that is good. Life continues to get better.

Just don't forget - especially when those bastard out of the blue craves hit you - just fight this thing minute by minute if you have to. Power through it. You are not going to let this beat you.

Keep on posting those +1s.

Proud to be quit with you

Jayhawk