Day 5

[RAZD611]

'clap'

[Ready]

That is outstanding.

Freedom is great.

Congrats on the 300 brother.

Never again, for any reason.

[redtrain14]

Wonderful post sensei. This is what freedom is all about gentlemen.....the freedom we are all striving for.

Congrats on 300 sensei!

[sensei]

Day 300

I just returned from vacation for Thanksgiving. I took the wife and 8 month old daughter to Cabo San Lucas for the week. It was 85 degrees and perfect, we all had a great time. Looking back I realize that this was the first dip free vacation since I was 15 years old. I can remember being 15 and on a family vacation in Lake Havasu hiding from my parents with a face full of Skoal Straight. Fucking worthless, I still cant believe that I wasted so much of my life and so many relationships with people over that shit.

Anyway, this vacation was awesome, no more hiding and staying up late after everyone is sleeping so I can be with my tobacco mistress. I'll be perfectly honest, I still thought about dipping, but in a different way. I was not craving a dip, I was just reflecting how I would have been doing things differently had I been dipping. I remembered how I would make shit up (read lying) so I could get away for 20 minutes and pack my fucking lip as full as I could. I bet I looked like a white Bubba from Forest Gump.... Idiotic. Instead this time I got to spent the entire vacation, every single minute with my beautiful wife and daughter... It was paradise.

Another cool side note. I have been putting $30.00 in a jar every Friday since I quit, that is about what I would spend weekly on 7 cans of poison. After 41 weeks this was $1230.00. I spent that on fun shit all week, I went fishing, went to dinner a few times, bought a bunch of fun crap, a bottle of REALLY nice tequila, gave my wife a spa day at the resort. Damn it was a good time.

So here I am at 300 days, for me it is quite an accomplishment considering I never missed a day dipping for 22 years. I still have dip dreams a few times a month, some are subtle and some are really nasty and emotional. I still persevere and I POST ROLL EVERY DAY. I don't miss that shit if my life depended on it, because it does.

"King Leonidas: This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!"

[sensei]

I noticed some weird shit happening to me today, so I wanted to write it down.

This is Day 21 of my quit and I am a grumpy SOB today. It was one of those days that I had to remember my grandma saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I was really quiet today.

The fog returned tonight. My wife and I went to dinner and I was getting out of the car and as I stood up I started spinning and I had to put my hand out against the side of the car to prevent myself from falling over. I must have looked like a drunk driver. When we were inside the restaurant, they called my name to seat us and I just went blank, my wife looks at me and says “are you ok?” I can see her talking to me, but it’s like the volume was turned down. It’s really a strange experience, walking in the fog is an excellent metaphor.

The poor waitress, she was really nice but dumber than a bag of hammers. She screwed everything up on our order and I was about to lose it. I guess I looked pissed because my beautiful loving wife says “is there anything I can help you with Dear?” I smiled and relaxed, reminding myself to just enjoy being with her.

We finish dinner and headed home, about a 15 minute drive. When I arrive home I am feeling so foggy, so bitchy, so fucking irritated for no reason other than for the first time in over 22 years there is no nicotine pumping through my veins.

I sit down and start to journal this and I became really emotional. This is not something that I am used to feeling but itÂ’s like this pent up frustration started boiling out of me. I feel like I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Instead, tears started rolling from my eyes. I realize I have been lying to myself and my family while secretly killing myself a little each day for the past 22 years.

How did I let this happen? Am I one of those boiled frogs? What I do know is that I will never allow it to happen again. From today forward I am basing my family relationships on honesty and full disclosure. There can be no other way.

What really pisses me off is that my addiction to nicotine created all the bullshit that I think I am missing without it. All the triggers that are creating this massive craving, frustration and irritabilityÂ… They are all created by the addiction. It is a vicious cycle, and unless I made the decision stop, it would keep on going until my death. That will not happen, not any more. I decided.

Today I understand my addiction better
Today I am a better man
Today I am quit

'clap' Good stuff Sensei

OUTSTANDING.

NICE!

I like your total honesty. You won't believe how much quitting will make you humble you before your are done!!! It is all WORTH it to break free of this shit!!!! I look forward to seeing you hit HOF!!! You can and will do this!!! Congrats on your 21 days so far!!!!!!

im am with you sensei...lets kick this shit, i better see you in the roll call tomorrow

very.....well.....done



thank you for posting this and reminding me.....it took some time to realize....

i like me pretty good w/o cope and do not need it to help define me.

nicely done post!

However, you lost me on the boiled frog reference....wtf?

Thank man, at the time I wrote that we were having a discussion about in our group about how we got ourselves in this mess (addicted to nicotine). The metaphor of the boiled frog was being used. The premise is that if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. It is used as a metaphor for the inability of people to react to significant changes that occur gradually.

So in a way we as nicotine addicts are all boiled frogs because we did not or could not react to the gradual changes that occurred in our life that lead us to spend tens of thousands of dollars, waste years of our lives and try our best to kill ourselves all for the sake of dipping.

Hope that explains it, thanks for reading.

[tarpon17]

I noticed some weird shit happening to me today, so I wanted to write it down.

This is Day 21 of my quit and I am a grumpy SOB today. It was one of those days that I had to remember my grandma saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I was really quiet today.

The fog returned tonight. My wife and I went to dinner and I was getting out of the car and as I stood up I started spinning and I had to put my hand out against the side of the car to prevent myself from falling over. I must have looked like a drunk driver. When we were inside the restaurant, they called my name to seat us and I just went blank, my wife looks at me and says “are you ok?” I can see her talking to me, but it’s like the volume was turned down. It’s really a strange experience, walking in the fog is an excellent metaphor.

The poor waitress, she was really nice but dumber than a bag of hammers. She screwed everything up on our order and I was about to lose it. I guess I looked pissed because my beautiful loving wife says “is there anything I can help you with Dear?” I smiled and relaxed, reminding myself to just enjoy being with her.

We finish dinner and headed home, about a 15 minute drive. When I arrive home I am feeling so foggy, so bitchy, so fucking irritated for no reason other than for the first time in over 22 years there is no nicotine pumping through my veins.

I sit down and start to journal this and I became really emotional. This is not something that I am used to feeling but itÂ’s like this pent up frustration started boiling out of me. I feel like I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Instead, tears started rolling from my eyes. I realize I have been lying to myself and my family while secretly killing myself a little each day for the past 22 years.

How did I let this happen? Am I one of those boiled frogs? What I do know is that I will never allow it to happen again. From today forward I am basing my family relationships on honesty and full disclosure. There can be no other way.

What really pisses me off is that my addiction to nicotine created all the bullshit that I think I am missing without it. All the triggers that are creating this massive craving, frustration and irritabilityÂ… They are all created by the addiction. It is a vicious cycle, and unless I made the decision stop, it would keep on going until my death. That will not happen, not any more. I decided.

Today I understand my addiction better
Today I am a better man
Today I am quit

'clap' Good stuff Sensei

OUTSTANDING.

NICE!

I like your total honesty. You won't believe how much quitting will make you humble you before your are done!!! It is all WORTH it to break free of this shit!!!! I look forward to seeing you hit HOF!!! You can and will do this!!! Congrats on your 21 days so far!!!!!!

im am with you sensei...lets kick this shit, i better see you in the roll call tomorrow

very.....well.....done



thank you for posting this and reminding me.....it took some time to realize....

i like me pretty good w/o cope and do not need it to help define me.

nicely done post!

However, you lost me on the boiled frog reference....wtf?

[sensei]

Day 269

Had a vivid dip dream last night, I haven't had one in 5+ months but t was every bit as real as the ones I had early on.

Glad to be quit this Halloween.

[Fort]

I am so glad Sensci's post was bumped. His words need to be read by all new quitters and soon to be quitters.

Mike - I am so glad you posted so i can look at your avatar.

[sensei]

Day 200

Ding-Ding as the elevator door opens on the second floor. I peek out the door and look around and see a clean room with a couple windows and a decent view. I have a choice to make, do I get off here on the second floor to enjoy the fruit of my labor or do I stay on the elevator, keep working and go to the next floor where the view is even better?

Ding-Ding, next stop is the third floor... I'm staying on the elevator.

Without the accountability of KTC I doubt that I would have stayed quit this long. However KTC doesn't mean shit if I don't honor my own word, and keep my promise every day.

I strengthen my own self worth and integrity every day that I post roll and keep my promise.

Life is awesome without dip, I don't answer to the can anymore. Sure I still feel the light tug and soft whispers of the mistress, but I am stronger that this addiction and I continue to get stronger every day.

For you newbie's, stay the course...Quitting is paradise, I promise.

[LaQuitter]

Sensei's guide to a successful quit.

I woke up this morning and was giving thanks to God for all the blessings in my life just like I do every morning and I was reminded just how grateful I am for having the daily strength to beat this addiction.

I thought about my quit and specifically about the behaviors and attitudes necessary for my quit to be a success. Quitting can be a fragile thing, I understand that I am one dip away from a can a day habit, but I persevere one day at a time.

By no means am I an expert, I am battling an addiction just like everyone here. I thought I would share in the hope that these will resonate with someone and help them in their battle.


The Four Absolute Necessities:

1. Make the decision to quit.
2. Make a promise not to use tobacco today.
3. Be a man and keep your promise.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 daily.

After I do step 1-3, I did these and my quit became significantly easier:

1. I Decided that I am stronger than this addiction.
2. I decided that I would NEVER use tobacco ever again....Ever
3. I Stayed away from known triggers like alcohol for over 100 days.
4. I significantly limited my time with friends who dip for over 100 days

Lastly, I decided that nothing in my life was better with dip and everything is better without it. When a strong craving comes, I remember these last four attitudes and the promise I made. If it take it seriously, I get through the craving every time.

Good stuff Sensei. Very simple concepts that work very well, once a quitter sees the light.

I personally think that too many quitters don't take #3 on your list of necessities as serious as is required to maintain a strong quit. A person has to have a strong faith and belief in the methods that are taught here at KTC. Accountability that brotherhood provides doesn't mean squat if you have NO INTEGRITY, and are untrustworthy. You have to give a damn about yourself and the man next to you.

It was affirming to read your thoughts, and it strengthened my resolve. Hopefully many new quitters heed your words. Keep up the strong quit.

[sensei]

Sensei's guide to a successful quit.

I woke up this morning and was giving thanks to God for all the blessings in my life just like I do every morning and I was reminded just how grateful I am for having the daily strength to beat this addiction.

I thought about my quit and specifically about the behaviors and attitudes necessary for my quit to be a success. Quitting can be a fragile thing, I understand that I am one dip away from a can a day habit, but I persevere one day at a time.

By no means am I an expert, I am battling an addiction just like everyone here. I thought I would share in the hope that these will resonate with someone and help them in their battle.


The Four Absolute Necessities:

1. Make the decision to quit.
2. Make a promise not to use tobacco today.
3. Be a man and keep your promise.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 daily.

After I do step 1-3, I did these and my quit became significantly easier:

1. I Decided that I am stronger than this addiction.
2. I decided that I would NEVER use tobacco ever again....Ever
3. I Stayed away from known triggers like alcohol for over 100 days.
4. I significantly limited my time with friends who dip for over 100 days

Lastly, I decided that nothing in my life was better with dip and everything is better without it. When a strong craving comes, I remember these last four attitudes and the promise I made. If it take it seriously, I get through the craving every time.

[john101477]

Day 179

So this Wednesday will mark six months since I packed a wedge of death in my face. I will admit that I would not have made it this far without this circus of webfolks here at KTC. Posting roll has become a ritual in my life, I have not missed a single day since I quit. Regardless of travel, work, vacation, or memory lapse I always seem to find the 30 seconds each day to post my promise. You could say that I replaced my dip habit with a posting roll habit.

I like to periodically reflect on things that have changed since I quit that worthless habit on February 5th and here are a few of my favorites:

1. My cock got bigger
2. I get a boner when the wind blows
3. I'm really horny all the time
4. My wife smiles a lot more

In addition to these fine qualities I noticed these bonuses:

1. I physically save $35.00 cash every Friday which is now $885.00
2. I am not a slave to the can
3. I like myself a lot more
4. My wife likes me a lot more

Yes; I still think about dip, I still crave dip, but it feels like a distant memory. I am stronger than this addiction and I will continue to fight for what is important in my life. I am winning the fight one day at a time and it gets better and better everyday.

Dude that's awesome
I gotta say. It seems like I never get enough now. I am not quite as spry as I was in highschool but not to fucking far from it lol.

[sensei]

Day 179

So this Wednesday will mark six months since I packed a wedge of death in my face. I will admit that I would not have made it this far without this circus of webfolks here at KTC. Posting roll has become a ritual in my life, I have not missed a single day since I quit. Regardless of travel, work, vacation, or memory lapse I always seem to find the 30 seconds each day to post my promise. You could say that I replaced my dip habit with a posting roll habit.

I like to periodically reflect on things that have changed since I quit that worthless habit on February 5th and here are a few of my favorites:

1. My cock got bigger
2. I get a boner when the wind blows
3. I'm really horny all the time
4. My wife smiles a lot more

In addition to these fine qualities I noticed these bonuses:

1. I physically save $35.00 cash every Friday which is now $885.00
2. I am not a slave to the can
3. I like myself a lot more
4. My wife likes me a lot more

Yes; I still think about dip, I still crave dip, but it feels like a distant memory. I am stronger than this addiction and I will continue to fight for what is important in my life. I am winning the fight one day at a time and it gets better and better everyday.

[MikeA]

I am so glad Sensci's post was bumped. His words need to be read by all new quitters and soon to be quitters.

[Greg5280]

Day 153

I returned from July 4th weekend where I went camping in the mountains with the family. This was the first time I have been camping without dip in over 22 years.
I realized a few things.

1. I can set up a campsite without a dip
2. I can build a raging campfire without a dip
3. I can cook on charcoal without a dip
4. Camping was just as fun without a dip

Looking back I understand that life is so much better without dip. I did not once have to worry if I brought enough cans to make it through the weekend. I didn't stress if I forgot my can when I went on a hike or when I left the campsite.

I think I will stay quit, I like my life better this way.

I would have to agree with you Sensei. The more +1's I add the more I like the new me.

I look at dippers now and wonder how the hell I ever did that. What a nasty fucking habit. If it is OK with you I will just stay quit too....

Great Post !!