Withdrawal sux

[Ready]

Day 84: The Decision to be Free

Every time I do something without nic, I realize how much my addiction held me back, how it cheated me out of bits and pieces of life. Time that I could of been spending with family and friends, but, instead I was sneaking off to feed my addiction. Time spent between dipping and planning the next dip. Being grumpy when I was "trapped" in situations where I couldn't dip. You know things like family outings, visits to friends, mission trips, every part of life that should have been the most enjoyable. Cheated, by some stupid addiction. One that was cleverly engineered by big tobacc0. No more. The decision's final. I'm finally free.

I know the nic bitch is still gonna knock on my door. It's bolted. It's not getting unbolted. Because I know that life without her is so much better than life ever was with her. The "stress" she used to relieve is gone. Sure I have life stresses, but they will be there with or without nic. Nic didn't help me cope with those anyway. Matter of fact she added a significant number of stress-ors to my life - cancer fear, acid reflux, hyper-tension, withdrawal stress and dental problems, among others.

The turning point in my quit was when my "want to" quit gave way to my decision to be quit. It happened about day 3 or 4 for me. In the words of my May group, that's when I grew my 3rd Ball. It's when I had my first "good day", I decided that I would pursue this freedom. No matter how tough it was, I wanted freedom from this. I wanted the rest of my days lived without this addiction robbing me of joy that was rightfully mine. That pursuit has had some tough times. But those tough times have made victory that much sweeter. Now, 84 days in, my quit is priceless to me. How do you put a price on Freedom?

So to those of you who are newly quit: I know you "want" to stay quit. We all "wanted" to quit. Did you make the decision to quit today? That no matter what you were going to live up to your promise to not use today? No matter what stresses come up. No matter what triggers there are to tempt you. Have you decided to be Quit? It's a simple concept with 100% chance of success. It'll lead you to freedom. It is beyond compare. You will look back and be overwhelmed by what you got back. I promise.

Stay quit my friends,

30

Very wise words indeed.

[30yraddict]

Day 84: The Decision to be Free

Every time I do something without nic, I realize how much my addiction held me back, how it cheated me out of bits and pieces of life. Time that I could of been spending with family and friends, but, instead I was sneaking off to feed my addiction. Time spent between dipping and planning the next dip. Being grumpy when I was "trapped" in situations where I couldn't dip. You know things like family outings, visits to friends, mission trips, every part of life that should have been the most enjoyable. Cheated, by some stupid addiction. One that was cleverly engineered by big tobacc-0. No more. The decision's final. I'm finally free.

I know the nic bitch is still gonna knock on my door. It's bolted. It's not getting unbolted. Because I know that life without her is so much better than life ever was with her. The "stress" she used to relieve is gone. Sure I have life stresses, but they will be there with or without nic. Nic didn't help me cope with those anyway. Matter of fact she added a significant number of stress-ors to my life - cancer fear, acid reflux, hyper-tension, withdrawal stress and dental problems, among others. Perhaps the worst was that defeated feeling every time I took a dip. My first post here is the first post in this thread:

Hi Everyone,

Been on the can for 30yrs, once in a while switched to cigars, quit once for a few months once or twice. Back at it, 7 hrs off the can, sucks....Evil nicotine pushing B@$T@RD$! Looking forward to succeeding this time...not feeling all that confident in me, though.

30yA

...pathetically weak. Already telling everyone I wasn't strong enough. When I read this, I would have bet against me quitting. So how did I get to this point? What changed?

The turning point in my quit was when my "want to" quit gave way to my decision to be quit. It happened about day 3 or 4 for me. In the words of my May group, that's when I grew my 3rd Ball. It's when I had my first "good day", I decided that I would pursue this freedom. No matter how tough it was, I wanted freedom from this. I wanted the rest of my days lived without this addiction robbing me of joy that was rightfully mine. That pursuit has had some tough times. But those tough times have made victory that much sweeter. Now, 84 days in, my quit is priceless to me. How do you put a price on Freedom?

So to those of you who are newly quit: I know you "want" to stay quit. We all "wanted" to quit. Did you make the decision to quit today? That no matter what you were going to live up to your promise to not use today? No matter what stresses come up. No matter what triggers there are to tempt you. Have you decided to be Quit? It's a simple concept with 100% chance of success. It'll lead you to freedom. It is beyond compare. You will look back and be overwhelmed by what you got back. I promise.

Stay quit my friends,

30

[30yraddict]

Day 82:  Logging the Journey...

Lots of depression over the past week.  Separate from the family stuff, can't put my finger on what so  I assume this is the "funk". FU nic... I'm QUIT.

Life is funny man. It absolutely sucks sometimes.

Read this.

We've all walked our own path, but I know the journey you're on. Dipping fixes nothing. You CAN make it through this.

Thanks for all you do around here, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Some real words of wisdom there, NOLAQ. Damn right nic doesn't solve anything, but it sure works hard to convince you it does. That crap's all in our mind. There is no way anyone but another addict who has quit could understand. Thanks for that, and thanks for all of your support of me and all the folks here.

Glad to be quit with you,

30

[30yraddict]

Day 82:  Logging the Journey...

Lots of depression over the past week.  Separate from the family stuff, can't put my finger on what so  I assume this is the "funk". FU nic... I'm QUIT.

My depression started in the late 60's and went through the 80's. Didn't break out until 89 or 90, just in the last week. Stay strong brother. My doctor said this is a year long journey of ups and downs....we can make it together.

Thanks for the encouragement ODAAT. Today was actually a much better day. It helps to be reminded that the withdrawal symptoms are temporary. Together we will get through this indeed!

:)

[ODAAT]

Day 82: Logging the Journey...

Lots of depression over the past week. Separate from the family stuff, can't put my finger on what so I assume this is the "funk". FU nic... I'm QUIT.

My depression started in the late 60's and went through the 80's. Didn't break out until 89 or 90, just in the last week. Stay strong brother. My doctor said this is a year long journey of ups and downs....we can make it together.

[Nolaq]

Day 82:  Logging the Journey...

Lots of depression over the past week.  Separate from the family stuff, can't put my finger on what so  I assume this is the "funk". FU nic... I'm QUIT.

Life is funny man. It absolutely sucks sometimes.

Read this.

We've all walked our own path, but I know the journey you're on. Dipping fixes nothing. You CAN make it through this.

Thanks for all you do around here, and I'll see you tomorrow.

[30yraddict]

Day 82: Logging the Journey...

Lots of depression over the past week. Separate from the family stuff, can't put my finger on what so I assume this is the "funk". FU nic... I'm QUIT.

[TheMissingPeace]

30 - Right here with you. Peace

[Boilerbates]

Thinking  Praying for you and your family.

[loot]

Hang in there 30...

[30yraddict]

Thanks to all of you for your support. I am overwhelmed by it. I am proud to be quit with all of you.

Dale

[Greg5280]

Day 75

I just found out today that my 50 year old brother's throat cancer has come back with a vengeance.  He now has a trach. He has a tumor growing on his cardioid artery, which the doctors don't have any way to treat.  A max of 5 years is what they give him. 5 years lived more like a sentence than a life....Indeed a sad day for me.  He was a smoker for the last 36 years or so.  He was still smoking in Feb when I saw him, despite going through chemo and radiation.  Reminded me of watching my mother smoking and then strapping the oxygen to her nose.  The oxygen that she needed because of emphysema.  As loot said the other day Addiction is a motherfucker.  And while we are all responsible for ourselves, and nobody forces us to use nicotine, the fact is there is a pusher out there.  That pusher doesn't give a damn about the lives, the misery, the destroyed families. Doesn't care about widows, or orphans.  Doesn't care about cancer. Doesn't care about someone who will never be able to talk again. Doesn't care that I lost my mother when she was 54.  A slow death by asphyxiation.  Or that I will probably loose my brother by the time he is 54.  Doesn't care that he will have surgery after surgery.  Doesn't care that my father has to watch his son in so much misery just like he watched his wife of 35 years. It's enough to break even the strongest of men - and it has.

That pusher only cares to keep you addicted. So the pusher can make money. I am ANGRY.  I HATE THE PUSHER, There is no justice.  There is no revenge to be had except this:  The only thing I can do to get even is to stay quit. And help you do the same.

I'll be back here tomorrow.  And my mission has more resolve than it ever has.  God help big tobacco.

Gold Bless 30. Prayers to you and yours.

X2

X3, i'm in on this crusade.

Prayers

Stay strong.

[jaygib]

Sending prayers out on behalf of your family 30 year

[nomosko]

Day 75

I just found out today that my 50 year old brother's throat cancer has come back with a vengeance.  He now has a trach. He has a tumor growing on his cardioid artery, which the doctors don't have any way to treat.  A max of 5 years is what they give him. 5 years lived more like a sentence than a life....Indeed a sad day for me.  He was a smoker for the last 36 years or so.  He was still smoking in Feb when I saw him, despite going through chemo and radiation.  Reminded me of watching my mother smoking and then strapping the oxygen to her nose.  The oxygen that she needed because of emphysema.  As loot said the other day Addiction is a motherfucker.  And while we are all responsible for ourselves, and nobody forces us to use nicotine, the fact is there is a pusher out there.  That pusher doesn't give a damn about the lives, the misery, the destroyed families. Doesn't care about widows, or orphans.  Doesn't care about cancer. Doesn't care about someone who will never be able to talk again. Doesn't care that I lost my mother when she was 54.  A slow death by asphyxiation.  Or that I will probably loose my brother by the time he is 54.  Doesn't care that he will have surgery after surgery.  Doesn't care that my father has to watch his son in so much misery just like he watched his wife of 35 years. It's enough to break even the strongest of men - and it has.

That pusher only cares to keep you addicted. So the pusher can make money. I am ANGRY.  I HATE THE PUSHER, There is no justice.  There is no revenge to be had except this:  The only thing I can do to get even is to stay quit. And help you do the same.

I'll be back here tomorrow.  And my mission has more resolve than it ever has.  God help big tobacco.

Gold Bless 30. Prayers to you and yours.

X2

X3, i'm in on this crusade.

Prayers

[tarpon17]

Day 75

I just found out today that my 50 year old brother's throat cancer has come back with a vengeance.  He now has a trach. He has a tumor growing on his cardioid artery, which the doctors don't have any way to treat.  A max of 5 years is what they give him. 5 years lived more like a sentence than a life....Indeed a sad day for me.  He was a smoker for the last 36 years or so.  He was still smoking in Feb when I saw him, despite going through chemo and radiation.  Reminded me of watching my mother smoking and then strapping the oxygen to her nose.  The oxygen that she needed because of emphysema.  As loot said the other day Addiction is a motherfucker.  And while we are all responsible for ourselves, and nobody forces us to use nicotine, the fact is there is a pusher out there.  That pusher doesn't give a damn about the lives, the misery, the destroyed families. Doesn't care about widows, or orphans.  Doesn't care about cancer. Doesn't care about someone who will never be able to talk again. Doesn't care that I lost my mother when she was 54.  A slow death by asphyxiation.  Or that I will probably loose my brother by the time he is 54.  Doesn't care that he will have surgery after surgery.  Doesn't care that my father has to watch his son in so much misery just like he watched his wife of 35 years. It's enough to break even the strongest of men - and it has.

That pusher only cares to keep you addicted. So the pusher can make money. I am ANGRY.  I HATE THE PUSHER, There is no justice.  There is no revenge to be had except this:  The only thing I can do to get even is to stay quit. And help you do the same.

I'll be back here tomorrow.  And my mission has more resolve than it ever has.  God help big tobacco.

Gold Bless 30. Prayers to you and yours.

X2

X3, i'm in on this crusade.