Derk40

[srans]

Day 20... Head on a swivel today! Back home after a 4 day work trip away from home w/o dip. A little bit of a good wave, so I am paying close attention to this quit today. I got to. The last 20 have been a battle won, but this a lifetime war. Need to remain vigilant. Learned a couple things over the last 4 days.

(1) Don't really enjoy spitting in a cup. Had some fake chew for the road and noticed that when I used it I was not getting what I used to get from Copenhagen. I used to get a relief from a nic withdrawal as I was keeping my poison levels up. Without that poison injection, sitting around with black crap in my lip and spitting into a cup was not all that great. In fact, almost zero pleasure gained. I don't want that poison in me ever again damnit.

(2) On day 2 away, Mrs. Derk asked me how my quit was going. Sort of shocked me, I shot back I was at Day 18 and she was pumped about that. She has quit using Diet Coke for her addiction and we were comparing days. She was on day 8 and I congratulated her. Another person to be accountable to in this quit along with KTC. Feeling a different vibe from her. A good vibe and I think my quit has much to do with it. Still a lot of trust to earn back there, but with todays +1 it will be better. Thanks for ya'll pushing me to tell her asap. Early here, but for me that was an absolute necessity for this quit. Need to lay it all on the table and move forward with the quit. No more lies or BS.

(3) Last night was stuck in an airport and noticed that the addicted folks really stand out to me now. I noticed a guy in the Nascar Cafe sitting at his table with a fatty in and spitting into a styrofoam cup, another guy walking by and lobbing a tobacco enhanced spit bomb into the trash can as he passed by, and another guy entering the plane with a 1/2 full coke bottle he was using to conceal his spitting. Those are just a few, but I'm pretty fucking glad that is not me anymore. I am quit today.

(4) Still have urges daily and I am thinking about the quit constantly, but the plan is holding tight. I need to keep thinking about this quit everyday in order stay quit. One day focus is key to this quit. Still roll into a store and my first look is to the tobacco section to see if they have copenhagen snuff. That is fine, but my focus remains on my quit.

(5) Feel like I built up some credibility the past 20 days. This credibility is mainly with myself. I am beating out some demons and I know I'm heading down the right path.

So, I am quit and I will stay quit today. Head on swivel since I know I am in her sights. She is waiting to pounce on me, but will be ready today. Quit on!

Good post Derk. You got this! I'll quit with you today and any day that ends with y....

[Derk40]

Day 20... Head on a swivel today! Back home after a 4 day work trip away from home w/o dip. A little bit of a good wave, so I am paying close attention to this quit today. I got to. The last 20 have been a battle won, but this a lifetime war. Need to remain vigilant. Learned a couple things over the last 4 days.

(1) Don't really enjoy spitting in a cup. Had some fake chew for the road and noticed that when I used it I was not getting what I used to get from Copenhagen. I used to get a relief from a nic withdrawal as I was keeping my poison levels up. Without that poison injection, sitting around with black crap in my lip and spitting into a cup was not all that great. In fact, almost zero pleasure gained. I don't want that poison in me ever again damnit.

(2) On day 2 away, Mrs. Derk asked me how my quit was going. Sort of shocked me, I shot back I was at Day 18 and she was pumped about that. She has quit using Diet Coke for her addiction and we were comparing days. She was on day 8 and I congratulated her. Another person to be accountable to in this quit along with KTC. Feeling a different vibe from her. A good vibe and I think my quit has much to do with it. Still a lot of trust to earn back there, but with todays +1 it will be better. Thanks for ya'll pushing me to tell her asap. Early here, but for me that was an absolute necessity for this quit. Need to lay it all on the table and move forward with the quit. No more lies or BS.

(3) Last night was stuck in an airport and noticed that the addicted folks really stand out to me now. I noticed a guy in the Nascar Cafe sitting at his table with a fatty in and spitting into a styrofoam cup, another guy walking by and lobbing a tobacco enhanced spit bomb into the trash can as he passed by, and another guy entering the plane with a 1/2 full coke bottle he was using to conceal his spitting. Those are just a few, but I'm pretty fucking glad that is not me anymore. I am quit today.

(4) Still have urges daily and I am thinking about the quit constantly, but the plan is holding tight. I need to keep thinking about this quit everyday in order stay quit. One day focus is key to this quit. Still roll into a store and my first look is to the tobacco section to see if they have copenhagen snuff. That is fine, but my focus remains on my quit.

(5) Feel like I built up some credibility the past 20 days. This credibility is mainly with myself. I am beating out some demons and I know I'm heading down the right path.

So, I am quit and I will stay quit today. Head on swivel since I know I am in her sights. She is waiting to pounce on me, but will be ready today. Quit on!

[Its_Got2Happen]

Day 2 on the ground in Aguadilla, PR.  Nic biatch does not have a chance today.    I am enjoying the views and scene in PR.  Not being a slave and jonesin for a fix is making this work trip very different.  Pretty weird feeling actually, but a good weird.   I am thinking more clearly and quite honestly feel proud of myself.   I am 17 days quit and I feel pretty damn good.  You all are a big part of this and although you cant be here physically... u r all here in spirit and making my quit stronger.  Posting roll, committing to the quit, and working the plan.  Committing to today and only today... it is that simple.  Wi-fi is in and out, may lose power to the TS Chantal, but don't matter.  We got a quit goin on here.

Fantastic. I understand, I feel proud of my quit so far as well. It isn't that often that we get the chance to face demons face to face and beat them down. Glad to be quit with you.

Hell yeah! Have a great trip man! There are beautiful parts of the island and I hope you enjoy the beaches before the storm hits. 17 days is kick ass. One day at a time will get you there, and it sounds like you are enjoying the tropics at the same time you are enjoying being quit. Just don't forget your sunscreen!

You should feel proud Derk40. The decision to take your life back is something that should make anyone proud. 17 days is a great accomplishment. Keep it up man. And remember, we are quit on the "good" day and on the bad days. There will be bad days my friend, be prepared, use the tools.

Ryan

[worktowin]

Day 2 on the ground in Aguadilla, PR.  Nic biatch does not have a chance today.    I am enjoying the views and scene in PR.  Not being a slave and jonesin for a fix is making this work trip very different.  Pretty weird feeling actually, but a good weird.   I am thinking more clearly and quite honestly feel proud of myself.   I am 17 days quit and I feel pretty damn good.  You all are a big part of this and although you cant be here physically... u r all here in spirit and making my quit stronger.  Posting roll, committing to the quit, and working the plan.  Committing to today and only today... it is that simple.  Wi-fi is in and out, may lose power to the TS Chantal, but don't matter.  We got a quit goin on here.

Fantastic. I understand, I feel proud of my quit so far as well. It isn't that often that we get the chance to face demons face to face and beat them down. Glad to be quit with you.

Hell yeah! Have a great trip man! There are beautiful parts of the island and I hope you enjoy the beaches before the storm hits. 17 days is kick ass. One day at a time will get you there, and it sounds like you are enjoying the tropics at the same time you are enjoying being quit. Just don't forget your sunscreen!

[CaliforniaSlim]

Day 2 on the ground in Aguadilla, PR.  Nic biatch does not have a chance today.    I am enjoying the views and scene in PR.  Not being a slave and jonesin for a fix is making this work trip very different.  Pretty weird feeling actually, but a good weird.  I am thinking more clearly and quite honestly feel proud of myself.  I am 17 days quit and I feel pretty damn good.  You all are a big part of this and although you cant be here physically... u r all here in spirit and making my quit stronger.  Posting roll, committing to the quit, and working the plan.  Committing to today and only today... it is that simple.  Wi-fi is in and out, may lose power to the TS Chantal, but don't matter.  We got a quit goin on here.

Fantastic. I understand, I feel proud of my quit so far as well. It isn't that often that we get the chance to face demons face to face and beat them down. Glad to be quit with you.

[Derk40]

Day 2 on the ground in Aguadilla, PR. Nic biatch does not have a chance today. I am enjoying the views and scene in PR. Not being a slave and jonesin for a fix is making this work trip very different. Pretty weird feeling actually, but a good weird. I am thinking more clearly and quite honestly feel proud of myself. I am 17 days quit and I feel pretty damn good. You all are a big part of this and although you cant be here physically... u r all here in spirit and making my quit stronger. Posting roll, committing to the quit, and working the plan. Committing to today and only today... it is that simple. Wi-fi is in and out, may lose power to the TS Chantal, but don't matter. We got a quit goin on here.

[FIGHTIN-IGNORANCE]

Underway enroute PR and working the GoGo wif-fi right now at 35k.  TS Chantel churned up in the Caribbean.  .... Should get some rain but looking like this thing will be south of my destination.    Holding tight with my quit, working my plan while  smashed into a window seat.  Already noted some folks ninja dipping...  Poor bastards.  I am way quit today.  Bring it on nic biatch... I own u today!

This is the type of resolve that it takes to whip the nic bitch!

We are all quit with you today brother!

Totally agree!

Good for u Derk40. I didn't post on my vacation. I am sorry for that. Thanks for the convictions and the motivation. I have never really been a forum guy before. However, I am becoming more convinced how important it is in this change.

Quitting with you bro!

[Grizzly25]

Underway enroute PR and working the GoGo wif-fi right now at 35k. TS Chantel churned up in the Caribbean. .... Should get some rain but looking like this thing will be south of my destination. Holding tight with my quit, working my plan while smashed into a window seat. Already noted some folks ninja dipping... Poor bastards. I am way quit today. Bring it on nic biatch... I own u today!

This is the type of resolve that it takes to whip the nic bitch!

We are all quit with you today brother!

[Derk40]

Underway enroute PR and working the GoGo wif-fi right now at 35k. TS Chantel churned up in the Caribbean. .... Should get some rain but looking like this thing will be south of my destination. Holding tight with my quit, working my plan while smashed into a window seat. Already noted some folks ninja dipping... Poor bastards. I am way quit today. Bring it on nic biatch... I own u today!

[Its_Got2Happen]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit.  Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today.  Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit.  Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me.  Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more.  Dip, reload, dip, reload.  Could not get enough.  Crazy, but it was me.  I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking.   So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude.  My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB.  Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake.  Gonna be a fight the next couple days.  But I am in this fight.  Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.

Do what you have to to get that mind in other places derk. Don't sit still to long. Exercice,, (push ups, running, burpies) whatever. The longer you sit there giving the thoughts time they don't deserve the harder it will be.

Enjoy the trip. You don't need the poison to enjoy a trip. You never needed it. When the trip gets here and you start going through the motions you will be surprised at how you handle everything. Start believing in yourself bro.

Your mind is going through a lot of changes, i've been there. You will go through a lot before this gets easier, trust me, but know that it does get easier. I make you one promise bro. Stay the course and everything gets easier.

Anytime your mind starts playing the tricks,, say it with me now. ((((((I hate the poison)))))....

To me,, day 1,2,3 were easy compared to where your at right now. The 2 to 3 or even 4 week mark was the hardest time by far. Meaning it lasted the longest. I've had other rough times, but nowhere near the length of that. Get to the next door bro. Quit with you.

This is where you need to step back and focus on the task at hand. Get through 1 day. That's it.. srans is right about the exercise. It will help you big time. It will release your mind from the negative thoughts. Put on some good music, go for a walk, run, swim, anything. Exercise was at the core of my quit.
If it makes you feel better, I used to think like you.. Now I'm free, POSTING everyday  focusing on one day at a time got me here. Remember no matter how bad it get's, it WILL get better.. you have my word on that.. peace :D

Thanks for that advice cd, srans and kana. I am getting too far ahead of myself and not focusing on this day. Difficult since I need to prep/plan for the trip, but I need to get back today. I need to be quit today. I do hate that fuckin poison. Also, great advice on the working out. No better way to burn off nervous energy than that. Quit on!

Yep. Been there. Done that. Used to order room service at the San Juan Marriott rather than walk down the beach... Didn't want to dip on the beach, so I stayed in the room. Or the el conquistador - which my company spent $500 a night to stay in... Never left the room except for meetings. Dip city those days. What a goddamn shame man. Get out, enjoy Puerto Rico and the rest if your life. I slap myself every time I think about those 25 wasted years. You need another contact you let me know. Ill be living vicariously through you while you do something I didn't...

BOOM, what he said Derk ^^^^^^^

Nice meeting you in chat bud. Keep killing it, you are on the only road that I know. One day at a time is the only way out. It is the simple but difficult. Make a promise, keep it, do it again tomorrow. I quit with you. You need help you have my number. Call anytime.

Ryan

[worktowin]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit.  Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today.  Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit.  Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me.  Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more.  Dip, reload, dip, reload.  Could not get enough.  Crazy, but it was me.  I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking.   So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude.  My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB.  Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake.  Gonna be a fight the next couple days.  But I am in this fight.  Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.

Do what you have to to get that mind in other places derk. Don't sit still to long. Exercice,, (push ups, running, burpies) whatever. The longer you sit there giving the thoughts time they don't deserve the harder it will be.

Enjoy the trip. You don't need the poison to enjoy a trip. You never needed it. When the trip gets here and you start going through the motions you will be surprised at how you handle everything. Start believing in yourself bro.

Your mind is going through a lot of changes, i've been there. You will go through a lot before this gets easier, trust me, but know that it does get easier. I make you one promise bro. Stay the course and everything gets easier.

Anytime your mind starts playing the tricks,, say it with me now. ((((((I hate the poison)))))....

To me,, day 1,2,3 were easy compared to where your at right now. The 2 to 3 or even 4 week mark was the hardest time by far. Meaning it lasted the longest. I've had other rough times, but nowhere near the length of that. Get to the next door bro. Quit with you.

This is where you need to step back and focus on the task at hand. Get through 1 day. That's it.. srans is right about the exercise. It will help you big time. It will release your mind from the negative thoughts. Put on some good music, go for a walk, run, swim, anything. Exercise was at the core of my quit.
If it makes you feel better, I used to think like you.. Now I'm free, POSTING everyday  focusing on one day at a time got me here. Remember no matter how bad it get's, it WILL get better.. you have my word on that.. peace :D

Thanks for that advice cd, srans and kana. I am getting too far ahead of myself and not focusing on this day. Difficult since I need to prep/plan for the trip, but I need to get back today. I need to be quit today. I do hate that fuckin poison. Also, great advice on the working out. No better way to burn off nervous energy than that. Quit on!

Yep. Been there. Done that. Used to order room service at the San Juan Marriott rather than walk down the beach... Didn't want to dip on the beach, so I stayed in the room. Or the el conquistador - which my company spent $500 a night to stay in... Never left the room except for meetings. Dip city those days. What a goddamn shame man. Get out, enjoy Puerto Rico and the rest if your life. I slap myself every time I think about those 25 wasted years. You need another contact you let me know. Ill be living vicariously through you while you do something I didn't...

[Derk40]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit.  Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today.  Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit.  Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me.  Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more.  Dip, reload, dip, reload.  Could not get enough.  Crazy, but it was me.  I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking.   So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude.  My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB.  Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake.  Gonna be a fight the next couple days.  But I am in this fight.  Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.

Do what you have to to get that mind in other places derk. Don't sit still to long. Exercice,, (push ups, running, burpies) whatever. The longer you sit there giving the thoughts time they don't deserve the harder it will be.

Enjoy the trip. You don't need the poison to enjoy a trip. You never needed it. When the trip gets here and you start going through the motions you will be surprised at how you handle everything. Start believing in yourself bro.

Your mind is going through a lot of changes, i've been there. You will go through a lot before this gets easier, trust me, but know that it does get easier. I make you one promise bro. Stay the course and everything gets easier.

Anytime your mind starts playing the tricks,, say it with me now. ((((((I hate the poison)))))....

To me,, day 1,2,3 were easy compared to where your at right now. The 2 to 3 or even 4 week mark was the hardest time by far. Meaning it lasted the longest. I've had other rough times, but nowhere near the length of that. Get to the next door bro. Quit with you.

This is where you need to step back and focus on the task at hand. Get through 1 day. That's it.. srans is right about the exercise. It will help you big time. It will release your mind from the negative thoughts. Put on some good music, go for a walk, run, swim, anything. Exercise was at the core of my quit.
If it makes you feel better, I used to think like you.. Now I'm free, POSTING everyday  focusing on one day at a time got me here. Remember no matter how bad it get's, it WILL get better.. you have my word on that.. peace :D

Thanks for that advice cd, srans and kana. I am getting too far ahead of myself and not focusing on this day. Difficult since I need to prep/plan for the trip, but I need to get back today. I need to be quit today. I do hate that fuckin poison. Also, great advice on the working out. No better way to burn off nervous energy than that. Quit on!

[kana]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit.  Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today.  Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit.  Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me.  Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more.  Dip, reload, dip, reload.  Could not get enough.  Crazy, but it was me.  I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking.   So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude.  My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB.  Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake.  Gonna be a fight the next couple days.  But I am in this fight.  Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.

Do what you have to to get that mind in other places derk. Don't sit still to long. Exercice,, (push ups, running, burpies) whatever. The longer you sit there giving the thoughts time they don't deserve the harder it will be.

Enjoy the trip. You don't need the poison to enjoy a trip. You never needed it. When the trip gets here and you start going through the motions you will be surprised at how you handle everything. Start believing in yourself bro.

Your mind is going through a lot of changes, i've been there. You will go through a lot before this gets easier, trust me, but know that it does get easier. I make you one promise bro. Stay the course and everything gets easier.

Anytime your mind starts playing the tricks,, say it with me now. ((((((I hate the poison)))))....

To me,, day 1,2,3 were easy compared to where your at right now. The 2 to 3 or even 4 week mark was the hardest time by far. Meaning it lasted the longest. I've had other rough times, but nowhere near the length of that. Get to the next door bro. Quit with you.

This is where you need to step back and focus on the task at hand. Get through 1 day. That's it.. srans is right about the exercise. It will help you big time. It will release your mind from the negative thoughts. Put on some good music, go for a walk, run, swim, anything. Exercise was at the core of my quit.
If it makes you feel better, I used to think like you.. Now I'm free, POSTING everyday  focusing on one day at a time got me here. Remember no matter how bad it get's, it WILL get better.. you have my word on that.. peace :D

[srans]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit.  Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today.  Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit.  Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me.  Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more.  Dip, reload, dip, reload.  Could not get enough.  Crazy, but it was me.  I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking.  So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude.  My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB.  Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake.  Gonna be a fight the next couple days.  But I am in this fight.  Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.

Do what you have to to get that mind in other places derk. Don't sit still to long. Exercice,, (push ups, running, burpies) whatever. The longer you sit there giving the thoughts time they don't deserve the harder it will be.

Enjoy the trip. You don't need the poison to enjoy a trip. You never needed it. When the trip gets here and you start going through the motions you will be surprised at how you handle everything. Start believing in yourself bro.

Your mind is going through a lot of changes, i've been there. You will go through a lot before this gets easier, trust me, but know that it does get easier. I make you one promise bro. Stay the course and everything gets easier.

Anytime your mind starts playing the tricks,, say it with me now. ((((((I hate the poison)))))....

To me,, day 1,2,3 were easy compared to where your at right now. The 2 to 3 or even 4 week mark was the hardest time by far. Meaning it lasted the longest. I've had other rough times, but nowhere near the length of that. Get to the next door bro. Quit with you.

[cdaniels]

Saturday morning with 14 days quit. Feeling good but very, very intense cravings today. Been boiling up for a few days and felt it happening in the back of my mind this week... Monday will be my first work trip since my quit. Traveling for work was a dipping oasis for me. Ridiculous, copious amounts of dipping... would blow thru a log in a couple days. And sometimes have to go buy more. Dip, reload, dip, reload. Could not get enough. Crazy, but it was me. I would sit in my hotel room just dipping and drinking. So this morning, my Ninja dipping mind keeps having the thoughts on how to go get my stash, hide it and roll out to solitude. My KTC mind is holding this quit tight and telling myself to get ur quit kit ready because this work trip will be your first real trip away from home where you dont act like a DB. Maybe you will even get out and enjoy some of the local sites - it is Puerto Rico for cripes sake. Gonna be a fight the next couple days. But I am in this fight. Stay quit my friends.

Be carefull with that line of thinking. You have done an awesome job so far. The mind games that the nic bitch plays on you can only hurt you if you act on them. I quit with you today. pm me if you need an extra number to help beat that bitch back.