Day 1

[worktowin]

Saturday morning. Day 5 I think. And last night you went to the races, right - something you used to really enjoy - one long date with a can of poison and some fast cars.

Look forward to hearing what it was like without nicotine. What did your eyes see, what did your brain think? Did anything seem different?

[B-loMatt]

I was just contemplating my evening yesterday and how glad I am to be quit this morning.  Yesterday was day 3 and during work the fog felt a little thinner, the suck was sucking a bit less.  I had no illusions that I had this "beat" or "cured" by any means but I was feeling strong.  Last night was a different story, hour by hour it was a struggle. I stayed close to the site, got in to chat with some great Vets (thanks Cdaniels, Philster and everyone else that was hanging in there last night).

So, I woke up multiple times during the night, haven't been sleeping great anyway.  Every time I woke up, dip, popped into my brain.  It was just a reminder to my quit self that the mindgames are just getting going, not to let my guard down and protect my infant quit with the truth.  Nic has taken more from me than I ever received.  I don't know how much sense I make but I want to be sure to record my journey here for future reference.  I never want to forget the suck the first few days and all my early struggles.

Quit on brothers!

Bro... It won't always be a fight! That's the good news. Right now, though, it's gonna be. No way around it. We messed up our mind, body, and soul with this awful shit. Healing is gonna take awhile. You know your tools... Use 'em like you did last night. Fight this good fight correctly right now in your quit. Every moment of hell is something that makes you stronger. Never. Again! Quit on bro! I'm sending you a pm with my number...

You are doing it! Gonna suck for a while, but you just keep fighting. It will get better. The first 3 days were the worst for me, and by week 2 I caught a breather. Just stay close to KTC and read as much as you can. Best way to fight the nic bitch mind games is with knowledge. I will PM you with my # too. Never Again For Any Reason!

[AppleJack]

I was just contemplating my evening yesterday and how glad I am to be quit this morning. Yesterday was day 3 and during work the fog felt a little thinner, the suck was sucking a bit less. I had no illusions that I had this "beat" or "cured" by any means but I was feeling strong. Last night was a different story, hour by hour it was a struggle. I stayed close to the site, got in to chat with some great Vets (thanks Cdaniels, Philster and everyone else that was hanging in there last night).

So, I woke up multiple times during the night, haven't been sleeping great anyway. Every time I woke up, dip, popped into my brain. It was just a reminder to my quit self that the mindgames are just getting going, not to let my guard down and protect my infant quit with the truth. Nic has taken more from me than I ever received. I don't know how much sense I make but I want to be sure to record my journey here for future reference. I never want to forget the suck the first few days and all my early struggles.

Quit on brothers!

Bro... It won't always be a fight! That's the good news. Right now, though, it's gonna be. No way around it. We messed up our mind, body, and soul with this awful shit. Healing is gonna take awhile. You know your tools... Use 'em like you did last night. Fight this good fight correctly right now in your quit. Every moment of hell is something that makes you stronger. Never. Again! Quit on bro! I'm sending you a pm with my number...

[Jlud007]

I was just contemplating my evening yesterday and how glad I am to be quit this morning. Yesterday was day 3 and during work the fog felt a little thinner, the suck was sucking a bit less. I had no illusions that I had this "beat" or "cured" by any means but I was feeling strong. Last night was a different story, hour by hour it was a struggle. I stayed close to the site, got in to chat with some great Vets (thanks Cdaniels, Philster and everyone else that was hanging in there last night).

So, I woke up multiple times during the night, haven't been sleeping great anyway. Every time I woke up, dip, popped into my brain. It was just a reminder to my quit self that the mindgames are just getting going, not to let my guard down and protect my infant quit with the truth. Nic has taken more from me than I ever received. I don't know how much sense I make but I want to be sure to record my journey here for future reference. I never want to forget the suck the first few days and all my early struggles.

Quit on brothers!

[jrod]

So, I leave work today. I need to hit the ATM and quickie mart for some seeds for the evening. Immediately my brain says head down to my usual spot for a Diet Coke and some Sunflower Seeds. Addiction works in funny ways....

I thought of the usual guy at the counter and how he always asks if I need one or two cans today. I paused and thought better than to go the usual place. However even the busier corporate gas station quickie mart I usually avoid was still a shaky affair. I didn't even realize what a close call I had until I got home. I had felt pretty good today (day 3), not that I felt cured or anything but I was confident in today. I did not break my promise today, I kept my daily oath to all of you, but I was reminded that my addiction will continue to test me when I am not expecting it. Thank goodness I have kept KTC close all day, reading all of your struggles and stories keeps that promise fresh in the mind. A dip and a problem equals 2 problems. I am rambling now but I wanted to share my experience today.

...and the best part was when I did get home and sat down with a cheek full of seeds, my 9 year old son told be how proud he was of me that I stopped using "that stinky Kodiak stuff".....just beautiful this thing called quit.

Damn proud to be quit with all of you today.

Good stuff. Don't hesitate to contact me in this situation. Call me up, I can sit idle on your phone while you go in and out of the store. Sounds dumb, but do whatever is necessary to guard your quit.

[Jlud007]

So, I leave work today. I need to hit the ATM and quickie mart for some seeds for the evening. Immediately my brain says head down to my usual spot for a Diet Coke and some Sunflower Seeds. Addiction works in funny ways....

I thought of the usual guy at the counter and how he always asks if I need one or two cans today. I paused and thought better than to go the usual place. However even the busier corporate gas station quickie mart I usually avoid was still a shaky affair. I didn't even realize what a close call I had until I got home. I had felt pretty good today (day 3), not that I felt cured or anything but I was confident in today. I did not break my promise today, I kept my daily oath to all of you, but I was reminded that my addiction will continue to test me when I am not expecting it. Thank goodness I have kept KTC close all day, reading all of your struggles and stories keeps that promise fresh in the mind. A dip and a problem equals 2 problems. I am rambling now but I wanted to share my experience today.

...and the best part was when I did get home and sat down with a cheek full of seeds, my 9 year old son told be how proud he was of me that I stopped using "that stinky Kodiak stuff".....just beautiful this thing called quit.

Damn proud to be quit with all of you today.

[CaliforniaSlim]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one.  Not today...today I am free of nicotine.  Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday.  The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal.  It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today.  Carry on KTC!

Two thumbs way, way up, jlud!!
Keep pressing forward, you have just begun to experience the freedom!

Freedom is so damn cool! Nice job man. Each day... Another day stronger. Quit on...

Those poor guys/gals. I sure hope that isn't the puff of nicotine that ends up giving them cancer. Was this too direct, Jlud? These are the sorts of thoughts that I used in the early days to get through any craves.

I've got a 45-year-old cousin with a wife and 2 kids that is probably going to die in the next couple of days from aggressive brain cancer - he never smoked or chewed in his life. And he was vegan. Ever heard of a vegan in Kansas? That's jacked man! (I got off subject there for a minute.) The last few days I've been thinking about him a lot. How on earth could I disrespect this man by going back to my bad ways? There but by the grace of God go I...

Lots on my mind this morning. Most of them bad thoughts about my addiction. Screw nicotine!

Great job. It is those early victories that start to add up and give you the strength to beat the more difficult Times. You are on your way buddy.
Quit with you.

[srans]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one.  Not today...today I am free of nicotine.  Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday.  The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal.  It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today.  Carry on KTC!

Two thumbs way, way up, jlud!!
Keep pressing forward, you have just begun to experience the freedom!

Freedom is so damn cool! Nice job man. Each day... Another day stronger. Quit on...

Those poor guys/gals. I sure hope that isn't the puff of nicotine that ends up giving them cancer. Was this too direct, Jlud? These are the sorts of thoughts that I used in the early days to get through any craves.

I've got a 45-year-old cousin with a wife and 2 kids that is probably going to die in the next couple of days from aggressive brain cancer - he never smoked or chewed in his life. And he was vegan. Ever heard of a vegan in Kansas? That's jacked man! (I got off subject there for a minute.) The last few days I've been thinking about him a lot. How on earth could I disrespect this man by going back to my bad ways? There but by the grace of God go I...

Lots on my mind this morning. Most of them bad thoughts about my addiction. Screw nicotine!

I Hate the poison. I hated it this morning. I'm hating it right now, middle of the day. Pretty sure I'm going to hate it for the remainder of today.

Stole my Mother in law. Stole one of my friends. In the process of taking another friend.

Probably going to take my mother and father. Dad has already several health issues and continues taking days off his life.

Your co workers can have it. Me and you are done. Screw the poison.

[worktowin]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one.  Not today...today I am free of nicotine.  Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday.  The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal.  It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today.  Carry on KTC!

Two thumbs way, way up, jlud!!
Keep pressing forward, you have just begun to experience the freedom!

Freedom is so damn cool! Nice job man. Each day... Another day stronger. Quit on...

Those poor guys/gals. I sure hope that isn't the puff of nicotine that ends up giving them cancer. Was this too direct, Jlud? These are the sorts of thoughts that I used in the early days to get through any craves.

I've got a 45-year-old cousin with a wife and 2 kids that is probably going to die in the next couple of days from aggressive brain cancer - he never smoked or chewed in his life. And he was vegan. Ever heard of a vegan in Kansas? That's jacked man! (I got off subject there for a minute.) The last few days I've been thinking about him a lot. How on earth could I disrespect this man by going back to my bad ways? There but by the grace of God go I...

Lots on my mind this morning. Most of them bad thoughts about my addiction. Screw nicotine!

[AppleJack]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one.  Not today...today I am free of nicotine.  Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday.  The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal.  It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today.  Carry on KTC!

Two thumbs way, way up, jlud!!
Keep pressing forward, you have just begun to experience the freedom!

Freedom is so damn cool! Nice job man. Each day... Another day stronger. Quit on...

[Keddy]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one. Not today...today I am free of nicotine. Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday. The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal. It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today. Carry on KTC!

Two thumbs way, way up, jlud!!
Keep pressing forward, you have just begun to experience the freedom!

[Jlud007]

Couple of coworkers just stepped out to smoke....I used to step out and have a dip while they were burning one. Not today...today I am free of nicotine. Day 3 is going ok, less foggy today than yesterday. The goal is clearer to me than ever.....freedom, freedom is the ultimate goal. It feels very liberating to just give in to the quit, I feel very good today. Carry on KTC!

[KC_Guy]

So after some thought here are my answers to the 3 questions:

What happened: I caved, twice.....on day 2. 

Why it happened: I have always had trouble asking for help, I am also not very social.  I don't know if its an inferiority complex or lack of self esteem, I haven't had many close friends since I was in school.  Some of the shit that goes on here can be intimidating to someone who would rather keep their head in the sand away from others.  That's just some of my mental junk anyway.

What am I going to do different:  What to say to this one, well obviously my quit will not go very far if I do not reach out and talk to someone when the going gets tough, that much is clear to me.  Beyond that I think very much like my earlier post, talk is cheap until I hang around and put some days and roll calls together

I hope this suffices, if not....well too bad.  I'll just keep coming back.

Nice to talk to you tonight, and glad to hear you reached out to others. Looks now like a plan is in action. From your words tonight, it is clear that the poison is eating at you. The next few days, as you said, are gonna be tough. Not as tough as Sean Marsee's last days. Read that story, then read it again. Or the Kerns. Those stories tell the real story of kodiak. Check out the pictures. That, my friend, is what the bear brings to our lives. Not one good thing comes out of using nicotine. Not a single one.

I know today was tough. Reaching out to strangers isn't easy. It takes integrity to admit your mistakes. To send me a text after being gone for months. And to own up to your failures. This, Jeff, sounds like the real deal. This time is THE time. And I'm glad to be on your team.

Feeling strong on Day 2, I have been here before. This time there is something different though, something I have never felt when quit, I can feel the freedom on the other side a little bit. I don't have any nostalgic feelings for the bear right now, only anger and regret. Diesel said it to me the first go round, get mad at the f##king bear. He took time from family from me, money, and plenty of health problems. So, yeah I'm mad at the bear and the nic bitch today. Proud to be a quitter here today. Sorry if I ramble, just putting my trash out on the street for pickup.

Besides the awesome support on here, there has been one thing that really helps my quit. Posting roll and keeping my word every damn day. INTEGRITY bro. That's what this shit is all about. Be a man of your word every day. You post roll and you keep your word. That's what badasses do. Show us you are a badass.

[Jlud007]

So after some thought here are my answers to the 3 questions:

What happened: I caved, twice.....on day 2. 

Why it happened: I have always had trouble asking for help, I am also not very social.  I don't know if its an inferiority complex or lack of self esteem, I haven't had many close friends since I was in school.  Some of the shit that goes on here can be intimidating to someone who would rather keep their head in the sand away from others.  That's just some of my mental junk anyway.

What am I going to do different:  What to say to this one, well obviously my quit will not go very far if I do not reach out and talk to someone when the going gets tough, that much is clear to me.  Beyond that I think very much like my earlier post, talk is cheap until I hang around and put some days and roll calls together

I hope this suffices, if not....well too bad.  I'll just keep coming back.

Nice to talk to you tonight, and glad to hear you reached out to others. Looks now like a plan is in action. From your words tonight, it is clear that the poison is eating at you. The next few days, as you said, are gonna be tough. Not as tough as Sean Marsee's last days. Read that story, then read it again. Or the Kerns. Those stories tell the real story of kodiak. Check out the pictures. That, my friend, is what the bear brings to our lives. Not one good thing comes out of using nicotine. Not a single one.

I know today was tough. Reaching out to strangers isn't easy. It takes integrity to admit your mistakes. To send me a text after being gone for months. And to own up to your failures. This, Jeff, sounds like the real deal. This time is THE time. And I'm glad to be on your team.

Feeling strong on Day 2, I have been here before. This time there is something different though, something I have never felt when quit, I can feel the freedom on the other side a little bit. I don't have any nostalgic feelings for the bear right now, only anger and regret. Diesel said it to me the first go round, get mad at the f##king bear. He took time from family from me, money, and plenty of health problems. So, yeah I'm mad at the bear and the nic bitch today. Proud to be a quitter here today. Sorry if I ramble, just putting my trash out on the street for pickup.

[worktowin]

So after some thought here are my answers to the 3 questions:

What happened: I caved, twice.....on day 2.

Why it happened: I have always had trouble asking for help, I am also not very social. I don't know if its an inferiority complex or lack of self esteem, I haven't had many close friends since I was in school. Some of the shit that goes on here can be intimidating to someone who would rather keep their head in the sand away from others. That's just some of my mental junk anyway.

What am I going to do different: What to say to this one, well obviously my quit will not go very far if I do not reach out and talk to someone when the going gets tough, that much is clear to me. Beyond that I think very much like my earlier post, talk is cheap until I hang around and put some days and roll calls together

I hope this suffices, if not....well too bad. I'll just keep coming back.

Nice to talk to you tonight, and glad to hear you reached out to others. Looks now like a plan is in action. From your words tonight, it is clear that the poison is eating at you. The next few days, as you said, are gonna be tough. Not as tough as Sean Marsee's last days. Read that story, then read it again. Or the Kerns. Those stories tell the real story of kodiak. Check out the pictures. That, my friend, is what the bear brings to our lives. Not one good thing comes out of using nicotine. Not a single one.

I know today was tough. Reaching out to strangers isn't easy. It takes integrity to admit your mistakes. To send me a text after being gone for months. And to own up to your failures. This, Jeff, sounds like the real deal. This time is THE time. And I'm glad to be on your team.