Day 60
Today I hit day 60 and it is also my daughter's 16th birthday. Things are still out of whack with her. My wife and I are butting heads over this, and it is all just pissing me off and it is pushing me back to the old Dustin. Old Dustin would shut down and just go numb and that is where I fear I am heading. I am still upset with my daughter and her actions, but I feel as my wife, and I are on different grounds when it comes to discipline and what not. I do think she needs to be punished and remain punished, but I also feel as though she needs our support, but she has burnt us more than once. It is a huge fucking struggle for me since I burnt people and bridges here, but I was given a second and third chance. I get it she did some bad shit, and she made some mistakes, but she is a kid... We all fucking did, shit I still am making mistakes all the damn time... I'm at a loss to be honest. I won't cave today; I made a promise to my brothers and sisters. Nicotine won't fix any of these issues. No matter what happens in this cluster fuck I have going on currently I swear to all of you that nicotine will not be a crutch or fix to my problems. I am stronger than a dead fucking plant in a plastic can and this bitch won't trick me today...