What are you prepared to do ?
I was sitting in chat the other night when a younger quitter came into the room and announced this would be his last night on the site. He was shutting off his cell phone, turning off his internet and basically cutting off all unnecessary expenses. His reason for doing this was to assist a friend who was fighting cancer. While this is a very noble cause and certainly to be commended I as well as others in the room cautioned against him leaving. We offered up options, such as going to a friendÂ’s house to post, go to the library, use your home phone and call a brother. All of these were met with a reason they would not work or could not be done.
I certainly hope he keeps his young quit going, but I have my doubts. Sadly we are all addicts; addicted to the perfect addictive drug. As one quitter I was talking to told me, “ man nicotine/ tobacco is dangerous stuff. We were messing with something we should not have been.” It took me awhile to be able to admit I was an addict but it is true none the less. I am, you are, we all are. For many of us this site/ community has been the one thing that has worked to keep us quit. Coming here and posting our promise, finding other addicts, listening to their stories, talking to them in chat, on the phone, developing friendships and understanding the phases you will go through all make this place the one place we can turn to and remain quit. Leaving here is never a good idea no matter what you think.
In my short time here I have seen many people cave. Some were brand new quitters that were just simply not ready, I hope they make it back. Some were very young quitters that did not use the tools provided and fell back into old habits. Others were long term quitters who allowed the lies and mind games we all tell ourselves to win. And some were Very long term quitters who thought they had the addiction beaten and wandered away from the site. Never kid yourself, nicotine is some bad ass shit..
As I was logging off for the night the quote from the Untouchables came to my mind. “ What are you prepared to do?” I thought about it and decided this was an excellent question. What are you prepared to do to keep your quit… ?
I thought about it for awhile and for me the answer to that question is very simple. I will do whatever I have to do. If I have to text a brother because I cannot get internet, I will do that. If I have to call a brother because I cannot text them, I will do that. If I have to go to a friendÂ’s house and pay them to use their internet, I will do that. If I have to walk to the library to use a computer, I will do that. If I have to post roll every day for the rest of my life, I will do that. Whatever it takesÂ….
Knowing what I know now about nicotine, tobacco, and addiction; there is no way I would go back to using. Not only does it scare the shit out of me, but I also have developed a growing hatred for the fucks that make it, market it, and sell it.
None for me; not today, not tomorrow.
So what are you prepared to do ??
