What I am.............
An Addict!
I have a story I need to tell.
The background is unnecessary. We are all human and have shit in our lives. My shit is not any different than yours.
I Want to Quit. My reasons are the same now as they were three days ago.
I don't want my mouth to hurt anymore.
I don't want brown teeth.
I don't want bad breath.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to spend the money.
Since then I failed. I had a chew and now I can't get this quit out of my head. It lingers.
The chew I had did nothing for me. It just started the clock over again.
Today is my first day of my quit. Today I will be quit one hour at a time.
I will tell people about my quit. Most of them don't even know that I chew. If I tell them and don't quit I will loose my job. They can over look many things but tobacco is not one of them.
I also use food. I was a very very fat man at 400 pounds. On April of 2010 I set out on another attempt at losing weight. I am still a work in progress but I have taken off 133 pounds. If I can quit that I can quit this.
I used food too keep people away. I used snuff to keep people away. I lived in my own little world and kept people away. I have done more to take part in life in the past few months than I ever have. The snuff was a killer though. It is hard to smile when you have a big ass brown wad of shit in your mouth. It is just a road block in the way of life. A road block that I put there because of fear. I get something from the snuff. I get acceptance I guess. Like the food it made me feel better somehow. I striped away the food and now I will strip away the snuff. I will be Quit today.
I will sign the roll today as Day 1.
You just decided on your way home, right? Well ... that didn't seem to work out too well. Now what? Now you have a plan? Sorry - no - you don't have a plan. WE have a plan that YOU must follow.
You haven't been here long enough for your apology to mean a fucking word to anyone on this site. The best aplogy you can offer is posting Day1. Then Day 2. And so on. When you get to day 50, maybe... MAYBE your word will mean something. But clearly your word meant nothing yesterday, when you promised you were quit and when you told Soul you were "still here." - bull fucking shit.
This is not some "hey I'll give it a try" quit site. You come here, you get with the program or you get the fuck out.
Today is Day 1. You're starting over. NEVER EVER let yourself start over again. You lost nearly half your size in the past year. You don't want to lose half your jaw.
Use the tools available to you on this site and don't be back with another day 1.