Day 225
The last 2 weeks for me have been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. In the midst of a divorce, turmoil at work and of course the retreads here, all of which had me looking inward. What could I have done, what can I do, how can I be different? Answers which use to be so easy all of a sudden, I'm second guessing myself. Did I make the correct decision ect ect ect...
Well, it all comes full circle back to ktc and my quit. My quit brought me here, without KTC I would not be quit. Without KTC I wouldn't have re-discovered working out and discovering endurance running. Without ktc, I wouldn't have met some kickass people who not only take time out of their day to check on my quit, but do check on me personally. Most of these people I haven't even met. The divorce is what it is, and I'm not going back to that, work is currently being ironed out. The retreads, well they seem to be coming back a dime a dozen. Key phrase there
coming back. I know when I am here, I am quit, I know that when I am here, I am bettering myself as a person. Why would anyone mess with that? They would have to be completely stupid, right? Yes, that's the simple answer.
They are, when the coin and milestone came in, the first thing I noticed was the "Botherhood, accountability and success". Always the motto here, but really, as bad as this sounds, I'm just starting to understand this. Brotherhood, men/women you've never met before willing to drop everything to help your ass out. Whether they have reached out to you or not, every person (that I have ran into so far) would do this. Accountability, well that's the easy one, exchanging numbers posting roll ect... Success. Success, is the end result we are all searching for. When have you won? I am on day 225, and I still don't feel like I've won this war. Each day is a battle and I have won 225 days in a row, but still, there is no end in sight. Success is what I feel when I am here, success is not using any nicotene today. Because of this, I am not leaving ktc, I owe this site too much. I may step back, but I will not leave. And, that, I believe is my success.
Sorry for my rambling and horrible grammEr and speelin', quit on
So did your mother in law cause the divorce? If this is getting too personal just tell me to go away! Did dip rage cause problems... I'm on day 23 actually my GF and I are having some serious shit.. I'm thinking it may be because of nic-rage.. truthfully what I am doing is telling the truth.. normally I sugar coat everything.. in withdrawl there is absolutely no filter! I say exactly what I think.. which may not exactly be a good thing? I told her the other day to her face I didn't like her parents at all! she said she didn't either! who know? Whatever happens you don't have to dip... "Life is a never ending series of temporary events!".. my mentor and coach says that all the time.. See ya.. Gooch
No man, it wasn't because of my mother unlaw even though she did play a part. Couples fight and being quit 23 days, honestly, may play some part in it. You're not raging as much anymore but your "bullshit tolerance" is very low. Or you could be experiencing some sort of funk. Ultimately, if you need to left off some steam do it here, NOT to your girlfriend. That's not healthy man, if you find yourself being overly assholey, take a step back and apologize, then come here and let us know Wtf was pissing you off. I'm not using nic today, I know that bitch ain't gonna fix none of my problems. I hate the nic bitch more then my mother inlaw and bin laden combined, so I'm not coming back.
