Quitting

[FMBM707]

FMBM...congrats on your decision and your determination to stay quit. Trust us...stay strong, drink the Kool-Aid and it gets better.

Make sure you schedule a dentist appointment...it will get your mind right to hear everything is okay.

I can say that exercise helped me tremendously...not a marathon but when craves hit, I get up and walk around the block. By the time I get back, I feel better.

Also, I have a daughter who has a $5K check on her bulletin board and I've told her I will sign if I ever put that poison in my mouth again.

Proud to quit with you today.

$5,000! That's a commitment right there! Tack another one up there with my name on it if that helps! LOL

Appreciate the advice on the dentist- I need to go face that head on as well! If it's bad news I need to deal with it sooner rather than later. If it's good news...then it's good news and it's one less thing to concern myself with.

Facing this demon head on has helped me in other aspects of my life. I'm happier. I'm more in the present with the people around me. I'm a better person knowing I don't have a dip of death in my lip.

Beat that fucker back every day and eventually he won't come around as often but I know he'll be there if I drop my guard. This IS a nasty addiction but it WAS a nasty habit. QUITTING is believing. QUITTING is freedom.

[sixercountry]

Keep it going dude....you are doing great...

[CBus50]

FMBM...congrats on your decision and your determination to stay quit. Trust us...stay strong, drink the Kool-Aid and it gets better.

Make sure you schedule a dentist appointment...it will get your mind right to hear everything is okay.

I can say that exercise helped me tremendously...not a marathon but when craves hit, I get up and walk around the block. By the time I get back, I feel better.

Also, I have a daughter who has a $5K check on her bulletin board and I've told her I will sign if I ever put that poison in my mouth again.

Proud to quit with you today.

[FMBM707]

FMBM
You've got a good quit going on here. Stay vigilant and you will prevail. Nice to have another Missouri brother even if your avatar is nowhere as good as p's and you are being tainted by texass.
Quit with you. Text or pm me if you need anything.

Thx Doc! Staying focused on the QUIT and catching up at work from my complete lack of concentration this week. I'm not even sure how to change an avatar or any of that shit. Way down on the priority list.

I've enjoyed all the physical withdrawal symptoms because they harden my resolve. They are starting to dwindle though- time for the mental aspect.

"QUITTING (sic) is about EXECUTION, the only ones who disagree are on Death Row" Mike Shannon- of course had the word 'baseball' instead of quitting but same rule applies

"Execution matters and lack of it loses" LaRussa

QUIT hard EDD!

[Doc Chewfree]

FMBM
You've got a good quit going on here. Stay vigilant and you will prevail. Nice to have another Missouri brother even if your avatar is nowhere as good as p's and you are being tainted by texass.
Quit with you. Text or pm me if you need anything.

[FMBM707]

it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!

everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.

1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!

A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.

I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.

Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.

Drink the KTC Kool-aide in moderation; it may cause constipation.

Pinched I can handle constipation and a lot of other types or lack there of 'shit'... as long as I'm QUIT

[Pinched]

it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!

everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.

1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!

A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.

I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.

Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.

Drink the KTC Kool-aide in moderation; it may cause constipation.

[FMBM707]

it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!

everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.

1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!

A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.

I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.

Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.

[FMBM707]

Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.

Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.

Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.

The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.

I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:

1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.

3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.

I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?

Don't forget the most important one FMBM... whatever it takes to keep the nicotine out of your mouth today.

Also don't forget the conversation we had in chat the other night, eruss and I figured you were a day behind in your count. Just because you found us after you "stopped" that day still counts so make sure to recognize your on Day 5 actually tomorrow. Every day is important and a journey on it's own early, keep doing what your doing. You got this brother!

I quit with you today.

Thanks Jlud007. Appreciate the post and words of advice. It all helps. I'm sticking to my guns on the quit date. Sunday when I took that dip out I didn't do it intending to quit. Monday when I woke up- that's when I said I'm done with the poison and found KTC. 7/07 is my quit date and so is 7/8, 7/9 and now 7/10. As you mentioned in the chat don't focus on the numbers right? Just ODAAT. Follow the process. STAY QUIT

[srans]

it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!

everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.

1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!

A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.

I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.

[Jlud007]

Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.

Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.

Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.

The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.

I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:

1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.

3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.

I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?

Don't forget the most important one FMBM... whatever it takes to keep the nicotine out of your mouth today.

Also don't forget the conversation we had in chat the other night, eruss and I figured you were a day behind in your count. Just because you found us after you "stopped" that day still counts so make sure to recognize your on Day 5 actually tomorrow. Every day is important and a journey on it's own early, keep doing what your doing. You got this brother!

I quit with you today.

[FMBM707]

Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.

Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.

Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.

The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.

I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:

1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine

2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.

3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.

I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.

I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?

[Spence249]

srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.

Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.

I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:

1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.

2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.

I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!

I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.

The alternative is worse.

This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend

You are building an awesome foundation of quit!

Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.

Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to put pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and them do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.

I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.

I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.

There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.

I really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.

So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.

The alternative is worse.

Well, I have been quit for a year (3 days shy of that but damn close) and still yet lastnight I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream for my kids because I promised them Sundaes if they helped clean the house while my wife worked on her homework. I went straight in grabbed the ice cream, a magazine and some chocolate syrup; stood in line staring at the jeweled glass case full of poison with no urge. Then while walking out to my truck I had the feeling that something was missing. Didn't at the time correlate the missing link until today.

See when I was a dipper although I was not a ninja about it at all I still took "trips" away from the house to have some one on one time with my can of cancerous weed. I am almost ashamed to admit it but yeah I am still an addict. However, I make the choice to be a quit addict in recovery today. No bad decisions about cancer for me today.

maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.

Fuck the little nod. Keep that bitch in the junk! Let her know you mean business and that she is NOT WELCOME!!!

Quit on quitter! Love the attitude.

[Pinched]

srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.

Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.

I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:

1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.

2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.

I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!

I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.

The alternative is worse.

This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend

You are building an awesome foundation of quit!

Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.

Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to put pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and them do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.

I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.

I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.

There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.

I really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.

So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.

The alternative is worse.

Well, I have been quit for a year (3 days shy of that but damn close) and still yet lastnight I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream for my kids because I promised them Sundaes if they helped clean the house while my wife worked on her homework. I went straight in grabbed the ice cream, a magazine and some chocolate syrup; stood in line staring at the jeweled glass case full of poison with no urge. Then while walking out to my truck I had the feeling that something was missing. Didn't at the time correlate the missing link until today.

See when I was a dipper although I was not a ninja about it at all I still took "trips" away from the house to have some one on one time with my can of cancerous weed. I am almost ashamed to admit it but yeah I am still an addict. However, I make the choice to be a quit addict in recovery today. No bad decisions about cancer for me today.

[FMBM707]

srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.

Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.

I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:

1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.

2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.

I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!

I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.

The alternative is worse.

This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend

You are building an awesome foundation of quit!

Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.

Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and then do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.

I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.

I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.

There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.

I'm really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.

So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.

The alternative is worse.