Quitting

[Steakbomb18]

I was traveling yesterday and just hit up the intro board. Not wanting to believe what Diesel and Griz wrote, I went to Oct 2014's page. Man, was that a punch in my face and kick to the nuts. Sure, I ain't an October Titan, but I sure as hell have been quitting day in and day out with you since your first weeks.

I'm pretty F'n pissed and now I have an idea about how much you valued your quit brothers; people like myself and those in your Quit group. And to that I say, so be it. I don't need nor want decrepit stones in my castle of quit.

[Diesel2112]

Well, if I remember correctly your name came about from your decision to quit for yourself. I believe it was For Me By Me on July 7th, hence...FMBM707.

Would be fitting now to change your handle to QFTB622...Quit Fighting The Battle June 22nd.

Hey, at least you came and went on your own terms. You'll always have that going for you.

Best of luck to you. I hope you keep trying, get fully addicted again and back to feeling normal. I'm sure your wife and family will be proud.

Dip on...

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Unbelievable horse shit. Some people are just moronic.

[Tuco]

GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!

Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.

I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.

NAFAR.

Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.

Proud of you. Keep the focus.

Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.

Keep up the good Quit man.

Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!

Never be here again brother. Stay quit every damn day! I'll be here with you.

PHEW!!! That is a huge relief, now isn't it? Glad you finally have some much-needed peace of mind along with some wise words from the ENT doc.

Quit with you today, buddy.

Don't know why you wouldn't take my word for it that you were fine. Too, much straining with your mouth open trying to catch your own load.
But, seriously, I am really glad you got a good report. Now, back to quitting!

Back to worrying about this shit bump.

AKA: Gum lump bump.

[Tuco]

DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.

We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.

It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.

Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.

This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others

The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.

This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.

Whichever wolf you feed will win.

Feed your quit EDD.

QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.

Nice post, boat burner.

Right fucking on! Love this post

Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.

Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.

LOL Gmann- you can call me a boat burner all day, everyday. In fact you can call me anything you want as long as you never call me a caver.


Who is stronger: a lone wolf or the pack?

Great post.

Research burn your boats. Gmann just gave you quite the compliment.

Scowich-
Gmann told me about boat burners and it is a complement to be called one! I really enjoy the story behind that as well. For anyone that wants to read it (it's worth it), here it is:

http://www.johnboe.com/articles/burn_your_boat.html

Burn the boats. Feed the right wolf. Do what it takes to stay quit.

Bump.

[Tuco]

There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.

Keep on rolling.

That's right you have to QLF EDD.

Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.

Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.

Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.

It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.

Bump.

[trigerhapy]

I'm no expert but feels to me like life might be stacking up on you man. I know that when I feel that way I just want to stick my head in the sand and make the world go away. We may not know exactly what you are going thru but PM some one please? Hope you find some clarity and come back. Support is here, even if some days shit is piled so high we don't even know where to start...

[Done4Me]

You posted support in the Anxiety thread so you know it's out there. Saw you post in Alc Quit as well. Yeah this shit is hard especially when you are quitting alc as well and/or are having increased anxiety issues. Who said this shit should be easy? Given two choices, is the right path ever the easy one? Jump back in while you still can.

You did well posting in your intro for the first 180 days and then went silent. Was that when your quit starting getting full of anxiety? That's my word, yours were tension and stress. If your choice is to continue to use, don't you think regret and declining self-respect will endlessly eat at you? Throw the risk of cancer on top and that's a shit sandwich with you in the middle. Make the right call and get back in here. Post a day 1 and figure out what's going on with professional help. Plenty of doctors and meds out there and there's no shame in pursuing. Plenty of self inflicted shame in abusing again. You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out.

[danojeno]

Steve, reading your intro was what caused me to sign up here. Although I'm sad you chose to start killing yourself again, I am glad for the wisdom you shared, if you believed it or not. I plan on using it EDD.

[Pinched]

From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:

Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.

Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.

For what it's worth:

that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust

all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.

i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit

I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.

Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.

Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.

To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!

'facepalm''

^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^

I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.

Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.

P

Just to clarify Pinched, Steve caved. He pissed away almost a year of freedom. For what? Pathetic and sad. I thought he wanted this. NAFAR.

Perhaps life just got to hard to bear by itself...and he needed his addiction as a blanket of security.

I am certainly glad that nothing traumatic happened during my quit. I certainly never had caving as an option.

PROOF that all of us are one bad decision away from being just another addict. Cancer must not scare you at all. It scares the fuck out of me.

[rdad]

From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:

Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.

Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.

For what it's worth:

that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust

all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.

i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit

I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.

Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.

Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.

To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!

'facepalm''

^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^

I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.

Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.

P

Just to clarify Pinched, Steve caved. He pissed away almost a year of freedom. For what? Pathetic and sad. I thought he wanted this. NAFAR.

[Pinched]

From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:

Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.

Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.

For what it's worth:

that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust

all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.

i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit

I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.

Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.

Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.

To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!

'facepalm''

^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^

I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.

Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.

P

[Smeds]

From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:

Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.

Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.

For what it's worth:

that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust

all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.

i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit

I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.

Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.

Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.

To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!

'facepalm''

[rdad]

Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD

Gratz bro!

Congrats, slowly it does get easier; you have the tools and the knowledge to use them.

He'll yes 707! Way to be man! Proud of you.

[Pinched]

Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD

Gratz bro!

Congrats, slowly it does get easier; you have the tools and the knowledge to use them.