Day 1

[Jlud007]

Day 303 and inspired by a very deep and thought provoking post by a close quit brother thought I would post an update.

My quit is stronger than ever and when I stop and realize how much life has happened to me dip free now I am amazed. By no means am I "on a ledge" or anything remotely close to that but I don't have many outlets to bitch and complain freely so I am dumping some shit here.

I have an 18 year old step daughter that graduated high school last summer, went off to college in August, quit and came home in September. Since then she has done pretty much nothing aside from sleep. Some may say I should just put my foot down, but anyone who has been stepparent knows that it can be a difficult and complicated situation. My wife, her mother defends her like a lioness protects her cub if I speak my mind. The excuses being "she's trying" and is "depressed". We have a 10 year old son together so I try to make due for his sake, but it is getting harder and harder to keep my mouth shut. At this point I have to blame my wife as well for enabling her behavior as well. I know this is not directly dip or quit related....right now, but I needed a place to vent some of it because I don't know how long I can continue to just "grin and bear it" and at some point for my own quit sanity there is going to have to be a come to Jesus moment.

Thanks to all of you, I quit with you today.

[Done4Me]

Congrats on 300 and thanks to all the vets for supporting new quitters.

[cbird65]

Jeff, you have been instrumental in my quit. We went through the fog together, we faced every fucking hurdle together. We served together has conductors, we have talked, texted and been side by side for 300 days. I give you my word daily that I am quit. Today I give you my word that I will always be here by your side in this quit. Life happens and shit will happen too, but you are never alone.

Corey

Niiice work brother.

Keep pushing pulling and dragging others in your quit

'ninja' 'drool'

[srans]

Jeff, you have been instrumental in my quit. We went through the fog together, we faced every fucking hurdle together. We served together has conductors, we have talked, texted and been side by side for 300 days. I give you my word daily that I am quit. Today I give you my word that I will always be here by your side in this quit. Life happens and shit will happen too, but you are never alone.

Corey

Niiice work brother.

[Pinched]

Jeff, you have been instrumental in my quit. We went through the fog together, we faced every fucking hurdle together. We served together has conductors, we have talked, texted and been side by side for 300 days. I give you my word daily that I am quit. Today I give you my word that I will always be here by your side in this quit. Life happens and shit will happen too, but you are never alone.

Corey

[worktowin]

Congratulations Jeff! Your strength and leadership over the past 300 has strengthened many a quit. The only thing better than 300 is 301!

[Derk40]

300 days! That is a heck of a quit you got going brother. Proud to be quit with you... Let's keep this thing rolling today!

[traumagnet]

Day 248 -

What a ride this thing we call quit.  I have had two very stressful weeks at work.  I am going to see my oldest son graduate High School in late May and visit my brother (who still dips) which I am already dreading... I had a day or two of some of the worst cravings I have had in quite some time.

Then I get on last night and skim the intros, check in on live chat and wow! New cavers, retreads and drama! Then today my first dental appointment in nearly 20 yrs and I'm scared shitless. 

When I got to craving, I texted a brother, posted roll for that day.... No excuses, going back is not an option.  My trip to the dentist was much better than I had feared, need some fillings and a heavy duty 2 appointment cleaning.  But considering 23 years of tobacco use and not seeing the inside of a dentist office for 20 years I feel quite blessed.  Some leukoplakia in my cheek, but she was not overly concerned at this time, just made a note to keep an eye on it down the road.

I cannot express enough my gratitude to my brothers that help me stay quit everyday and have no words to describe the life changing journey that being quit is when you really give in to it, fucking beautiful.

Quit on brothers!

Awesome bro.

I'll ride the ride with ya...

Yea 250 was a bitch for me as well. You know what to do. With you today bad ass.

mount up strap up I am here too Lud you got this....ODAAT

[Erussell]

Day 248 -

What a ride this thing we call quit.  I have had two very stressful weeks at work.  I am going to see my oldest son graduate High School in late May and visit my brother (who still dips) which I am already dreading... I had a day or two of some of the worst cravings I have had in quite some time.

Then I get on last night and skim the intros, check in on live chat and wow! New cavers, retreads and drama! Then today my first dental appointment in nearly 20 yrs and I'm scared shitless. 

When I got to craving, I texted a brother, posted roll for that day.... No excuses, going back is not an option.  My trip to the dentist was much better than I had feared, need some fillings and a heavy duty 2 appointment cleaning.  But considering 23 years of tobacco use and not seeing the inside of a dentist office for 20 years I feel quite blessed.  Some leukoplakia in my cheek, but she was not overly concerned at this time, just made a note to keep an eye on it down the road.

I cannot express enough my gratitude to my brothers that help me stay quit everyday and have no words to describe the life changing journey that being quit is when you really give in to it, fucking beautiful.

Quit on brothers!

Awesome bro.

I'll ride the ride with ya...

Yea 250 was a bitch for me as well. You know what to do. With you today bad ass.

[AppleJack]

Day 248 -

What a ride this thing we call quit. I have had two very stressful weeks at work. I am going to see my oldest son graduate High School in late May and visit my brother (who still dips) which I am already dreading... I had a day or two of some of the worst cravings I have had in quite some time.

Then I get on last night and skim the intros, check in on live chat and wow! New cavers, retreads and drama! Then today my first dental appointment in nearly 20 yrs and I'm scared shitless.

When I got to craving, I texted a brother, posted roll for that day.... No excuses, going back is not an option. My trip to the dentist was much better than I had feared, need some fillings and a heavy duty 2 appointment cleaning. But considering 23 years of tobacco use and not seeing the inside of a dentist office for 20 years I feel quite blessed. Some leukoplakia in my cheek, but she was not overly concerned at this time, just made a note to keep an eye on it down the road.

I cannot express enough my gratitude to my brothers that help me stay quit everyday and have no words to describe the life changing journey that being quit is when you really give in to it, fucking beautiful.

Quit on brothers!

Awesome bro.

I'll ride the ride with ya...

[Jlud007]

Day 248 -

What a ride this thing we call quit. I have had two very stressful weeks at work. I am going to see my oldest son graduate High School in late May and visit my brother (who still dips) which I am already dreading... I had a day or two of some of the worst cravings I have had in quite some time.

Then I get on last night and skim the intros, check in on live chat and wow! New cavers, retreads and drama! Then today my first dental appointment in nearly 20 yrs and I'm scared shitless.

When I got to craving, I texted a brother, posted roll for that day.... No excuses, going back is not an option. My trip to the dentist was much better than I had feared, need some fillings and a heavy duty 2 appointment cleaning. But considering 23 years of tobacco use and not seeing the inside of a dentist office for 20 years I feel quite blessed. Some leukoplakia in my cheek, but she was not overly concerned at this time, just made a note to keep an eye on it down the road.

I cannot express enough my gratitude to my brothers that help me stay quit everyday and have no words to describe the life changing journey that being quit is when you really give in to it, fucking beautiful.

Quit on brothers!

[Derk40]

400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.

I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.

The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.

I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.

See you on roll.

Day 232 -

Been quite a while since I posted anything in here so why not today. I thought of this quote I posted from Evil today, because I feel the same quite often and need to remind myself of the daily battle. I post roll everyday with my group but lately I have not done much else. Quietly going about my quit day by day, I've felt alone lately. It falls on my me to get more active again and I'm proud to be quit with all you another day!

Atta boy! You know how this works.

Rock on m'brutha

You are posting roll EDD and I know your word is solid. You can always post up with the September Sluts EDD. That way you are doing more than the minimum. I am quit with you all day long bro!

[AppleJack]

400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.

I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.

The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.

I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.

See you on roll.

Day 232 -

Been quite a while since I posted anything in here so why not today. I thought of this quote I posted from Evil today, because I feel the same quite often and need to remind myself of the daily battle. I post roll everyday with my group but lately I have not done much else. Quietly going about my quit day by day, I've felt alone lately. It falls on my me to get more active again and I'm proud to be quit with all you another day!

Atta boy! You know how this works.

Rock on m'brutha

[Jlud007]

400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.

I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.

The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.

I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.

See you on roll.

Day 232 -

Been quite a while since I posted anything in here so why not today. I thought of this quote I posted from Evil today, because I feel the same quite often and need to remind myself of the daily battle. I post roll everyday with my group but lately I have not done much else. Quietly going about my quit day by day, I've felt alone lately. It falls on my me to get more active again and I'm proud to be quit with all you another day!

[srans]

Congrats on 200 today Jeff. You are one of the first people I talked to on this site, and I'm proud to be in this fight with you. Keep stacking up the days one at a time. Each milestone ahead will bring you more peace and freedom.  Enjoy today - you've earned it!

There are people that you meet that just plain get it. My friend Jeff here is one of those people. Congratulations brother, welcome to the second floor. You are a bad ass quitter now, together we can continue to do this. Failure is not an option.

Corey

Nice move to the second floor bro! Keep at it. Proud to be quit with you today.

'oh yeah' great job man awesome possum

Great job. It's apparent you came to just quit! Glad your a friend.