Almost there... Quit Date Dec 31st 2013

[worktowin]

Well rickddd the one u were referring to has made his statement he caved and yes it sucked but he did not post roll while using. Mr neon I couldn't read all the way through your full post it wreaked of addict speak the same addict speak I used in the past when I got busted for dipping by my loved ones. I found this site 283 days ago and got a crash course in tobacco 101 the same one that is offered to every new quitter here some get it offered by rougher vets some by softer point is if you do nothing w the teachings then you are not quit u are just stopped. IMO you have not transformed yourself you just hid in plain sight your spots came through when you got pushed. We all have our stories we all have our issues but those that know me here know I have remained quit through some of the biggest obstacles I have ever faced know why because I am here doing it the KTC way. Giving our promise and posting roll is the corner stone of the site our word with that is sacred. Caves rattle people even those w the strongest resolve but lying about being quit and posting roll is not tolerated. A person who does that cheapens the site and endangers others who may be quit but haven't gotten a complete handle on it. Same way a cancer cell starts the cell gets mutated and effects others around it and poof full blown cancerous mass that needs to be cut out. I know this site and I know admin and the mods are looking at this thread and I don't envy their position they will do what's right I will respect it.

As for u Mr Neon you prolly should get a check up from the neck up. I also hope that this incident has rocked you to the core and you now see what addiction is even though your poison is legal.
Trauma out

X2 every word posted above.

[traumagnet]

Well rickddd the one u were referring to has made his statement he caved and yes it sucked but he did not post roll while using. Mr neon I couldn't read all the way through your full post it wreaked of addict speak the same addict speak I used in the past when I got busted for dipping by my loved ones. I found this site 283 days ago and got a crash course in tobacco 101 the same one that is offered to every new quitter here some get it offered by rougher vets some by softer point is if you do nothing w the teachings then you are not quit u are just stopped. IMO you have not transformed yourself you just hid in plain sight your spots came through when you got pushed. We all have our stories we all have our issues but those that know me here know I have remained quit through some of the biggest obstacles I have ever faced know why because I am here doing it the KTC way. Giving our promise and posting roll is the corner stone of the site our word with that is sacred. Caves rattle people even those w the strongest resolve but lying about being quit and posting roll is not tolerated. A person who does that cheapens the site and endangers others who may be quit but haven't gotten a complete handle on it. Same way a cancer cell starts the cell gets mutated and effects others around it and poof full blown cancerous mass that needs to be cut out. I know this site and I know admin and the mods are looking at this thread and I don't envy their position they will do what's right I will respect it.

As for u Mr Neon you prolly should get a check up from the neck up. I also hope that this incident has rocked you to the core and you now see what addiction is even though your poison is legal.
Trauma out

[Diesel2112]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

Sorry I am a very slow typist I have been working on this since I got of work.

What happened?
On Wednesday January 15th I chose to get drunk. I chose to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. My wife could tell I was drinking again and was upset, so I chose to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday January 16th, I chose to stop and buy a can and dip. After passing out, and waking up 30 minutes late for work, I chose to post roll as soon as I got to a computer. I told myself if I counted that drunk dip as caving, if I accepted defeat that I would give up and fail. I had made it 42 days, I knew what to do, I could overcome this mistake. Alone. It was an addicts lies, to myself and all of you, to avoid taking responsibility for my actions. I made it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, telling myself I was succeeding. Tuesday afternoon I started craving, went straight to the nearest 7-11 and bought another can. Dipped and dumped it. Then I stopped on the way to work and dipped again this morning. Then posted roll.
What happened? I chose to make repeatedly bad decisions, I chose to drink, I chose to ignore all the people that have extended their support, and not ask for their help. I chose to cave and I chose to lie to all of you about it for a week, while posting roll. Then dip again.

Why did it happen?
Alcohol and Nicotine have always gone hand in hand for me. My 1st dip was while drunk, and when I started I only dipped while drinking. If told myself if I only dipped when I was drinking, I must not be getting addicted. But it wasn't long before I was dipping every chance I could, drunk or not. I would dip with out drinking, but I never drank without dipping.
I when I quit nicotine on December 5th, and chose not to quit drinking. I ignored the warnings on the site to not drink. I have probably drank at least one to four times a week since I quit.
Over the last 2 weeks, I chose to wallow in a pointless, very depressed funk. I let normal life issues like car repairs and other finances and anything and everything overwhelm and drag me down.
I chose to stop taking responsibility for my quit. I posted roll when it was convenient, when I finally remembered or when one of my supporters would text and ask where the heck I was and why I hadn't posted roll. And the whole time I was choosing these bad decisions, I chose not to ask for help or seek support.


What are you doing differently to insure that it will not happen that way again?
The first think I am going to do differently is not use my failure as an excuse to give up. Admitting that I caved was harder than hell. If I didn't desperately want to Quit I couldn't have done it. I will not let my decisions this day be for nothing.
I am going to make my Quit my number one priority, and I am going to include God this time. Whether you believe in God or not, I do, and I hope you can respect this. Every morning when I wake up, it's straight to my knees in prayer and then straight here post roll. I will focus daily on protecting my quit at all costs.
I have been depressed for a very long time. The last few weeks have been far worse, I don't know if the depression I was experiencing is a normal part of the quitting, or if I have real clinical depression. I really do not want pills or a therapist, but if it comes to that I will. For now I hope I can keep it at bay with fitness. Which is another recommendation for new quitters that I ignored... Went on 2 hikes and a bike ride over this 3 day weekend and felt so much better mood-wise. I sold my best rifle last week to buy a mountain bike. It is my favorite outdoor activity, but I haven't had a bike in over a decade. So, after I post roll, I'm going to the gym for at least an hour before work. After work, at least 1h30m – 2h ride. If I continue to suffer from mood issues, I will speak to a professional.
Alcohol is not an excuse, the alcohol didn't make me cave. But it has no place in the life of the man I want to be. Not now, not at day 100, not ever. Some of you can drink and stay quit. I don't want alcohol in my life and I won't risk it again. Today is 7 days without alcohol. Not today.
I have reached out via call or text in previous times of need. It is so simple, and has always been very positive. Instead I chose to deal with things alone, my way. I won't make that mistake again. I have a phone full of #'s for people, that even after this, are supporting me. I will reach out to them at the 1st sign of trouble. And before trouble ever arises.
I will be more active on this site, not just posting roll and not looking at the site again for 24 hours. For now I will read quietly and keep in touch with those of you that somehow still think I am worth supporting. When I have earned it, I will continue to expand my support base and offer support in-turn. I hope to continue to give and get phone numbers. Every new name I add to my support group is one more person I am determined not to let down. Sending the text to all the people that have given me their numbers today, to tell them that I chose to cave. There are no words for how hard that was, I never, ever want to do that again.

I have never met any of you in person, and I came here preaching my way! Yet you all chose to set me straight and throw out a lifesaver. You told me I could reach it, you told me I could save myself. I chose to grab it and quit. You pulled me aboard the KTC life raft and saved me. You gave me everything I needed to be free. You offered me support and brotherhood. After 42 days... with no explanation I chose to throw it all away and dive back off the boat? Then I chose to lie to you about it? What?!? I cannot believe myself. I can't apologize for this. I don't deserve to be here or any of your support. You quit or die. I chose death. I don't deserve a second chance, but I really, really want to live.

I think a vote is fair. If you want me gone I will not press the issue. I made my choices and I will have to live with the consequences.

NeonPanther Nicotine Day 1- Alcohol day 7

Did you post roll while using?

Yes.

Posting while using. Oh boy....

I've been quit 599 days but there is still one thing that flips my stomach, and that's a cave.

Some say their quit is strengthened when someone caves. Mine is not.

When I read of a cave it gets my mind wondering...."I wonder if they liked it?". "I wonder if they felt "better" about things?". " I wonder if it did what they thought it would do for them?'. "I wonder if they got sick when they put it in?" Etc...

I know the answers to all the "wonders", it's NO.

I was close with a guy early on who caved after about a month. He said he was sitting in his truck with a can of dip on one leg, a pistol on the other, and the number of his old drug dealer punched in his cell, and that hitting send meant he could have an 8 ball of coke in 15 minutes. He chose the dip.

I asked him, "was it worth it"? He said no, and was very insistent that I NEVER cave. Yet, he said he was giving up and I never heard from him again, despite some texts and pm's.

I sometimes wonder what happened to him, especially after someone else caves.

I fucking HATE wondering.

Right now I'm wondering if lite might be the site for you.

[jake frawley]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

Sorry I am a very slow typist I have been working on this since I got of work.

What happened?
On Wednesday January 15th I chose to get drunk. I chose to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. My wife could tell I was drinking again and was upset, so I chose to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday January 16th, I chose to stop and buy a can and dip. After passing out, and waking up 30 minutes late for work, I chose to post roll as soon as I got to a computer. I told myself if I counted that drunk dip as caving, if I accepted defeat that I would give up and fail. I had made it 42 days, I knew what to do, I could overcome this mistake. Alone. It was an addicts lies, to myself and all of you, to avoid taking responsibility for my actions. I made it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, telling myself I was succeeding. Tuesday afternoon I started craving, went straight to the nearest 7-11 and bought another can. Dipped and dumped it. Then I stopped on the way to work and dipped again this morning. Then posted roll.
What happened? I chose to make repeatedly bad decisions, I chose to drink, I chose to ignore all the people that have extended their support, and not ask for their help. I chose to cave and I chose to lie to all of you about it for a week, while posting roll. Then dip again.

Why did it happen?
Alcohol and Nicotine have always gone hand in hand for me. My 1st dip was while drunk, and when I started I only dipped while drinking. If told myself if I only dipped when I was drinking, I must not be getting addicted. But it wasn't long before I was dipping every chance I could, drunk or not. I would dip with out drinking, but I never drank without dipping.
I when I quit nicotine on December 5th, and chose not to quit drinking. I ignored the warnings on the site to not drink. I have probably drank at least one to four times a week since I quit.
Over the last 2 weeks, I chose to wallow in a pointless, very depressed funk. I let normal life issues like car repairs and other finances and anything and everything overwhelm and drag me down.
I chose to stop taking responsibility for my quit. I posted roll when it was convenient, when I finally remembered or when one of my supporters would text and ask where the heck I was and why I hadn't posted roll. And the whole time I was choosing these bad decisions, I chose not to ask for help or seek support.


What are you doing differently to insure that it will not happen that way again?
The first think I am going to do differently is not use my failure as an excuse to give up. Admitting that I caved was harder than hell. If I didn't desperately want to Quit I couldn't have done it. I will not let my decisions this day be for nothing.
I am going to make my Quit my number one priority, and I am going to include God this time. Whether you believe in God or not, I do, and I hope you can respect this. Every morning when I wake up, it's straight to my knees in prayer and then straight here post roll. I will focus daily on protecting my quit at all costs.
I have been depressed for a very long time. The last few weeks have been far worse, I don't know if the depression I was experiencing is a normal part of the quitting, or if I have real clinical depression. I really do not want pills or a therapist, but if it comes to that I will. For now I hope I can keep it at bay with fitness. Which is another recommendation for new quitters that I ignored... Went on 2 hikes and a bike ride over this 3 day weekend and felt so much better mood-wise. I sold my best rifle last week to buy a mountain bike. It is my favorite outdoor activity, but I haven't had a bike in over a decade. So, after I post roll, I'm going to the gym for at least an hour before work. After work, at least 1h30m – 2h ride. If I continue to suffer from mood issues, I will speak to a professional.
Alcohol is not an excuse, the alcohol didn't make me cave. But it has no place in the life of the man I want to be. Not now, not at day 100, not ever. Some of you can drink and stay quit. I don't want alcohol in my life and I won't risk it again. Today is 7 days without alcohol. Not today.
I have reached out via call or text in previous times of need. It is so simple, and has always been very positive. Instead I chose to deal with things alone, my way. I won't make that mistake again. I have a phone full of #'s for people, that even after this, are supporting me. I will reach out to them at the 1st sign of trouble. And before trouble ever arises.
I will be more active on this site, not just posting roll and not looking at the site again for 24 hours. For now I will read quietly and keep in touch with those of you that somehow still think I am worth supporting. When I have earned it, I will continue to expand my support base and offer support in-turn. I hope to continue to give and get phone numbers. Every new name I add to my support group is one more person I am determined not to let down. Sending the text to all the people that have given me their numbers today, to tell them that I chose to cave. There are no words for how hard that was, I never, ever want to do that again.

I have never met any of you in person, and I came here preaching my way! Yet you all chose to set me straight and throw out a lifesaver. You told me I could reach it, you told me I could save myself. I chose to grab it and quit. You pulled me aboard the KTC life raft and saved me. You gave me everything I needed to be free. You offered me support and brotherhood. After 42 days... with no explanation I chose to throw it all away and dive back off the boat? Then I chose to lie to you about it? What?!? I cannot believe myself. I can't apologize for this. I don't deserve to be here or any of your support. You quit or die. I chose death. I don't deserve a second chance, but I really, really want to live.

I think a vote is fair. If you want me gone I will not press the issue. I made my choices and I will have to live with the consequences.

NeonPanther Nicotine Day 1- Alcohol day 7

Did you post roll while using?

Yes.

Oh man..... When I read your text earlier I was at work. A cave I can understand. I have been there and refuse to judge it. But posting role while chewing is unreal. I am disappointed. I have followed your quit, and this made me think about caving. I will not cave. But it reminded me that it is easy to do if you are not commited. You have to be 100%. Or you will fail. I can't trust your word now and I am a believer in giving a caver a second chance. Some of our best leaders are retreads. But a liar is different. We have no room for that here. Most people who cave at least have the decency to leave until they are quit again! You showed us that our brotherhood means shit to you!

[NeonPanther]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

Sorry I am a very slow typist I have been working on this since I got of work.

What happened?
On Wednesday January 15th I chose to get drunk. I chose to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. My wife could tell I was drinking again and was upset, so I chose to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday January 16th, I chose to stop and buy a can and dip. After passing out, and waking up 30 minutes late for work, I chose to post roll as soon as I got to a computer. I told myself if I counted that drunk dip as caving, if I accepted defeat that I would give up and fail. I had made it 42 days, I knew what to do, I could overcome this mistake. Alone. It was an addicts lies, to myself and all of you, to avoid taking responsibility for my actions. I made it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, telling myself I was succeeding. Tuesday afternoon I started craving, went straight to the nearest 7-11 and bought another can. Dipped and dumped it. Then I stopped on the way to work and dipped again this morning. Then posted roll.
What happened? I chose to make repeatedly bad decisions, I chose to drink, I chose to ignore all the people that have extended their support, and not ask for their help. I chose to cave and I chose to lie to all of you about it for a week, while posting roll. Then dip again.

Why did it happen?
Alcohol and Nicotine have always gone hand in hand for me. My 1st dip was while drunk, and when I started I only dipped while drinking. If told myself if I only dipped when I was drinking, I must not be getting addicted. But it wasn't long before I was dipping every chance I could, drunk or not. I would dip with out drinking, but I never drank without dipping.
I when I quit nicotine on December 5th, and chose not to quit drinking. I ignored the warnings on the site to not drink. I have probably drank at least one to four times a week since I quit.
Over the last 2 weeks, I chose to wallow in a pointless, very depressed funk. I let normal life issues like car repairs and other finances and anything and everything overwhelm and drag me down.
I chose to stop taking responsibility for my quit. I posted roll when it was convenient, when I finally remembered or when one of my supporters would text and ask where the heck I was and why I hadn't posted roll. And the whole time I was choosing these bad decisions, I chose not to ask for help or seek support.


What are you doing differently to insure that it will not happen that way again?
The first think I am going to do differently is not use my failure as an excuse to give up. Admitting that I caved was harder than hell. If I didn't desperately want to Quit I couldn't have done it. I will not let my decisions this day be for nothing.
I am going to make my Quit my number one priority, and I am going to include God this time. Whether you believe in God or not, I do, and I hope you can respect this. Every morning when I wake up, it's straight to my knees in prayer and then straight here post roll. I will focus daily on protecting my quit at all costs.
I have been depressed for a very long time. The last few weeks have been far worse, I don't know if the depression I was experiencing is a normal part of the quitting, or if I have real clinical depression. I really do not want pills or a therapist, but if it comes to that I will. For now I hope I can keep it at bay with fitness. Which is another recommendation for new quitters that I ignored... Went on 2 hikes and a bike ride over this 3 day weekend and felt so much better mood-wise. I sold my best rifle last week to buy a mountain bike. It is my favorite outdoor activity, but I haven't had a bike in over a decade. So, after I post roll, I'm going to the gym for at least an hour before work. After work, at least 1h30m – 2h ride. If I continue to suffer from mood issues, I will speak to a professional.
Alcohol is not an excuse, the alcohol didn't make me cave. But it has no place in the life of the man I want to be. Not now, not at day 100, not ever. Some of you can drink and stay quit. I don't want alcohol in my life and I won't risk it again. Today is 7 days without alcohol. Not today.
I have reached out via call or text in previous times of need. It is so simple, and has always been very positive. Instead I chose to deal with things alone, my way. I won't make that mistake again. I have a phone full of #'s for people, that even after this, are supporting me. I will reach out to them at the 1st sign of trouble. And before trouble ever arises.
I will be more active on this site, not just posting roll and not looking at the site again for 24 hours. For now I will read quietly and keep in touch with those of you that somehow still think I am worth supporting. When I have earned it, I will continue to expand my support base and offer support in-turn. I hope to continue to give and get phone numbers. Every new name I add to my support group is one more person I am determined not to let down. Sending the text to all the people that have given me their numbers today, to tell them that I chose to cave. There are no words for how hard that was, I never, ever want to do that again.

I have never met any of you in person, and I came here preaching my way! Yet you all chose to set me straight and throw out a lifesaver. You told me I could reach it, you told me I could save myself. I chose to grab it and quit. You pulled me aboard the KTC life raft and saved me. You gave me everything I needed to be free. You offered me support and brotherhood. After 42 days... with no explanation I chose to throw it all away and dive back off the boat? Then I chose to lie to you about it? What?!? I cannot believe myself. I can't apologize for this. I don't deserve to be here or any of your support. You quit or die. I chose death. I don't deserve a second chance, but I really, really want to live.

I think a vote is fair. If you want me gone I will not press the issue. I made my choices and I will have to live with the consequences.

NeonPanther Nicotine Day 1- Alcohol day 7

Did you post roll while using?

Yes.

[luby]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

Sorry I am a very slow typist I have been working on this since I got of work.

What happened?
On Wednesday January 15th I chose to get drunk. I chose to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. My wife could tell I was drinking again and was upset, so I chose to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday January 16th, I chose to stop and buy a can and dip. After passing out, and waking up 30 minutes late for work, I chose to post roll as soon as I got to a computer. I told myself if I counted that drunk dip as caving, if I accepted defeat that I would give up and fail. I had made it 42 days, I knew what to do, I could overcome this mistake. Alone. It was an addicts lies, to myself and all of you, to avoid taking responsibility for my actions. I made it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, telling myself I was succeeding. Tuesday afternoon I started craving, went straight to the nearest 7-11 and bought another can. Dipped and dumped it. Then I stopped on the way to work and dipped again this morning. Then posted roll.
What happened? I chose to make repeatedly bad decisions, I chose to drink, I chose to ignore all the people that have extended their support, and not ask for their help. I chose to cave and I chose to lie to all of you about it for a week, while posting roll. Then dip again.

Why did it happen?
Alcohol and Nicotine have always gone hand in hand for me. My 1st dip was while drunk, and when I started I only dipped while drinking. If told myself if I only dipped when I was drinking, I must not be getting addicted. But it wasn't long before I was dipping every chance I could, drunk or not. I would dip with out drinking, but I never drank without dipping.
I when I quit nicotine on December 5th, and chose not to quit drinking. I ignored the warnings on the site to not drink. I have probably drank at least one to four times a week since I quit.
Over the last 2 weeks, I chose to wallow in a pointless, very depressed funk. I let normal life issues like car repairs and other finances and anything and everything overwhelm and drag me down.
I chose to stop taking responsibility for my quit. I posted roll when it was convenient, when I finally remembered or when one of my supporters would text and ask where the heck I was and why I hadn't posted roll. And the whole time I was choosing these bad decisions, I chose not to ask for help or seek support.


What are you doing differently to insure that it will not happen that way again?
The first think I am going to do differently is not use my failure as an excuse to give up. Admitting that I caved was harder than hell. If I didn't desperately want to Quit I couldn't have done it. I will not let my decisions this day be for nothing.
I am going to make my Quit my number one priority, and I am going to include God this time. Whether you believe in God or not, I do, and I hope you can respect this. Every morning when I wake up, it's straight to my knees in prayer and then straight here post roll. I will focus daily on protecting my quit at all costs.
I have been depressed for a very long time. The last few weeks have been far worse, I don't know if the depression I was experiencing is a normal part of the quitting, or if I have real clinical depression. I really do not want pills or a therapist, but if it comes to that I will. For now I hope I can keep it at bay with fitness. Which is another recommendation for new quitters that I ignored... Went on 2 hikes and a bike ride over this 3 day weekend and felt so much better mood-wise. I sold my best rifle last week to buy a mountain bike. It is my favorite outdoor activity, but I haven't had a bike in over a decade. So, after I post roll, I'm going to the gym for at least an hour before work. After work, at least 1h30m – 2h ride. If I continue to suffer from mood issues, I will speak to a professional.
Alcohol is not an excuse, the alcohol didn't make me cave. But it has no place in the life of the man I want to be. Not now, not at day 100, not ever. Some of you can drink and stay quit. I don't want alcohol in my life and I won't risk it again. Today is 7 days without alcohol. Not today.
I have reached out via call or text in previous times of need. It is so simple, and has always been very positive. Instead I chose to deal with things alone, my way. I won't make that mistake again. I have a phone full of #'s for people, that even after this, are supporting me. I will reach out to them at the 1st sign of trouble. And before trouble ever arises.
I will be more active on this site, not just posting roll and not looking at the site again for 24 hours. For now I will read quietly and keep in touch with those of you that somehow still think I am worth supporting. When I have earned it, I will continue to expand my support base and offer support in-turn. I hope to continue to give and get phone numbers. Every new name I add to my support group is one more person I am determined not to let down. Sending the text to all the people that have given me their numbers today, to tell them that I chose to cave. There are no words for how hard that was, I never, ever want to do that again.

I have never met any of you in person, and I came here preaching my way! Yet you all chose to set me straight and throw out a lifesaver. You told me I could reach it, you told me I could save myself. I chose to grab it and quit. You pulled me aboard the KTC life raft and saved me. You gave me everything I needed to be free. You offered me support and brotherhood. After 42 days... with no explanation I chose to throw it all away and dive back off the boat? Then I chose to lie to you about it? What?!? I cannot believe myself. I can't apologize for this. I don't deserve to be here or any of your support. You quit or die. I chose death. I don't deserve a second chance, but I really, really want to live.

I think a vote is fair. If you want me gone I will not press the issue. I made my choices and I will have to live with the consequences.

NeonPanther Nicotine Day 1- Alcohol day 7

Did you post roll while using?

[NeonPanther]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

Sorry I am a very slow typist I have been working on this since I got of work.

What happened?
On Wednesday January 15th I chose to get drunk. I chose to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. My wife could tell I was drinking again and was upset, so I chose to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday January 16th, I chose to stop and buy a can and dip. After passing out, and waking up 30 minutes late for work, I chose to post roll as soon as I got to a computer. I told myself if I counted that drunk dip as caving, if I accepted defeat that I would give up and fail. I had made it 42 days, I knew what to do, I could overcome this mistake. Alone. It was an addicts lies, to myself and all of you, to avoid taking responsibility for my actions. I made it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, telling myself I was succeeding. Tuesday afternoon I started craving, went straight to the nearest 7-11 and bought another can. Dipped and dumped it. Then I stopped on the way to work and dipped again this morning. Then posted roll.
What happened? I chose to make repeatedly bad decisions, I chose to drink, I chose to ignore all the people that have extended their support, and not ask for their help. I chose to cave and I chose to lie to all of you about it for a week, while posting roll. Then dip again.

Why did it happen?
Alcohol and Nicotine have always gone hand in hand for me. My 1st dip was while drunk, and when I started I only dipped while drinking. If told myself if I only dipped when I was drinking, I must not be getting addicted. But it wasn't long before I was dipping every chance I could, drunk or not. I would dip with out drinking, but I never drank without dipping.
I when I quit nicotine on December 5th, and chose not to quit drinking. I ignored the warnings on the site to not drink. I have probably drank at least one to four times a week since I quit.
Over the last 2 weeks, I chose to wallow in a pointless, very depressed funk. I let normal life issues like car repairs and other finances and anything and everything overwhelm and drag me down.
I chose to stop taking responsibility for my quit. I posted roll when it was convenient, when I finally remembered or when one of my supporters would text and ask where the heck I was and why I hadn't posted roll. And the whole time I was choosing these bad decisions, I chose not to ask for help or seek support.


What are you doing differently to insure that it will not happen that way again?
The first think I am going to do differently is not use my failure as an excuse to give up. Admitting that I caved was harder than hell. If I didn't desperately want to Quit I couldn't have done it. I will not let my decisions this day be for nothing.
I am going to make my Quit my number one priority, and I am going to include God this time. Whether you believe in God or not, I do, and I hope you can respect this. Every morning when I wake up, it's straight to my knees in prayer and then straight here post roll. I will focus daily on protecting my quit at all costs.
I have been depressed for a very long time. The last few weeks have been far worse, I don't know if the depression I was experiencing is a normal part of the quitting, or if I have real clinical depression. I really do not want pills or a therapist, but if it comes to that I will. For now I hope I can keep it at bay with fitness. Which is another recommendation for new quitters that I ignored... Went on 2 hikes and a bike ride over this 3 day weekend and felt so much better mood-wise. I sold my best rifle last week to buy a mountain bike. It is my favorite outdoor activity, but I haven't had a bike in over a decade. So, after I post roll, I'm going to the gym for at least an hour before work. After work, at least 1h30m – 2h ride. If I continue to suffer from mood issues, I will speak to a professional.
Alcohol is not an excuse, the alcohol didn't make me cave. But it has no place in the life of the man I want to be. Not now, not at day 100, not ever. Some of you can drink and stay quit. I don't want alcohol in my life and I won't risk it again. Today is 7 days without alcohol. Not today.
I have reached out via call or text in previous times of need. It is so simple, and has always been very positive. Instead I chose to deal with things alone, my way. I won't make that mistake again. I have a phone full of #'s for people, that even after this, are supporting me. I will reach out to them at the 1st sign of trouble. And before trouble ever arises.
I will be more active on this site, not just posting roll and not looking at the site again for 24 hours. For now I will read quietly and keep in touch with those of you that somehow still think I am worth supporting. When I have earned it, I will continue to expand my support base and offer support in-turn. I hope to continue to give and get phone numbers. Every new name I add to my support group is one more person I am determined not to let down. Sending the text to all the people that have given me their numbers today, to tell them that I chose to cave. There are no words for how hard that was, I never, ever want to do that again.

I have never met any of you in person, and I came here preaching my way! Yet you all chose to set me straight and throw out a lifesaver. You told me I could reach it, you told me I could save myself. I chose to grab it and quit. You pulled me aboard the KTC life raft and saved me. You gave me everything I needed to be free. You offered me support and brotherhood. After 42 days... with no explanation I chose to throw it all away and dive back off the boat? Then I chose to lie to you about it? What?!? I cannot believe myself. I can't apologize for this. I don't deserve to be here or any of your support. You quit or die. I chose death. I don't deserve a second chance, but I really, really want to live.

I think a vote is fair. If you want me gone I will not press the issue. I made my choices and I will have to live with the consequences.

NeonPanther Nicotine Day 1- Alcohol day 7

[jbradley]

Quitsmokeless has a home for this liar, send him packing. Roll is sacred, period. I hope you do quit but I can never trust you again.

[ParadigmDawg]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

I'm going to go against the grain on this one.

He has called everyone of his supporters, whom he has a contact number for.

He is in true pain and remorseful and made a big fucking mistake and lost his integrity(which is huge to me).

I told him to stay off the intro's and just post roll every day. Action...not words...

I read people, I make a living doing it and I am good at it. He should get one more chance and I will stand by him on it. If I'm wrong, it's on me but lets not ban him.

Trust me on this one brother.

Greg

[Derk40]

You obviously did not learn anything. Your post is full of BS. You sound like an addict telling a loved one what they know needs to happen but you never follow thru with. Empty promises. A lot of garbage that I am not buying.

Now I see someone posted on your thread... "I wonder how many other people are posting using while using." That really chaps my a$$. The answer to that fine quitter is.... It better be ZERO!!!

You messed up got hammered and caved.... It happens I guess. But then you decided to crap on the site and everyone here by posting roll while stuffing your face. That my friend is inexcusable.

What a waste of a good quit.

[rickddd]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

Its not the first time its happened. A few months ago it happened with a guy I wont name here, and the admins let it go. They basically said they don't wanna shut a guy out in the cold, or leave him without a lifeline. So he's still here as far as I know.

[Erussell]

1/22/2014 Nicotine 0 Alcohol Day 7.

I caved.

I will not make excuses. On Wednesday Jan 15th I CHOSE to get obliteratedly drunk. The reasons and excuses for this are meaningless, I should have CHOSEN to post, call, or text for help. Instead I selfishly CHOSE to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. I CHOSE to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday Jan 16, I CHOSE to stop and buy a can of dip. I CHOSE to cave. Alcohol is not an excuse, I CHOSE to drink. I CHOSE to cave. I CHOSE to fill 12 hours of that night with events I seriously regret, and will for a very long time. I CHOSE to put everything I value aside. I CHOSE to risk my life, my career, my family, myÂ… everything.

For some reason, my wife forgave me again. I posted day 1 for alcohol and promised myself I was Quit for alcohol and nicotine. I told myself, and my wife that if I accepted that drunk dip as a cave, I would just use it as a reason to fail. I told myself and my wife that I was not going to let one mistake reset all the progress I had made. I mostly didnÂ’t want to face all of you. I CHOSE to lie to all of you, and lie to myself that I could keep going. We had an awesome 3 day weekend, spent the entire time together as a family outdoors. I was craving most of the time, but we were busy, having a great time, and there was no time for dip. If there had been, IÂ’m sure I would have CHOSEN to dip again. Then, yesterday, completely sober, I CHOSE to stop and buy another can. I CHOSE to drive to 7-11. I CHOSE to circle around the parking lot twice while I decided if I wanted to buy it. I CHOSE to wander around the store as I acted like I was looking for a drink, half-assed trying to talk myself out of it. I CHOSE not to leave. I CHOSE to buy a can. I CHOSE to dip. I regretted it. I spit it out in disgust and threw it out in the closest trash can. This morning I CHOSE to stop and buy another can and dip again and then flushed it.

I CHOSE to go no further down this path. I have been typing this and talking to my wife all morning. She and I have tasted success and freedom. I will not let it go. I regret my CHOICES last Wednesday. I regret not making this choice Thursday morning. I regret being a despicable hypocrite for the last 7 days. I regret lying to my wife, to all of you and to myself these past 7 days. I regret that before every CHOICE I made, I could have CHOSEN to ask for help, and instead I CHOSE not to. I know it would have been answered with a landside of support.

I failed myself. I failed all of you. I failed my wife and my children. I will not let these mistakes destroy me, I cannot. I know I cannot be dishonest and succeed. Lies are addictions fuel. I cannot lie to my supporters. I cannot lie to myself or my loved ones any longer. I owe you all an apology. I want to fall to the ground and apologize, but I do not believe any words will make a difference. I know I am going to hurt and disappoint so many of you by posting this. I know some of you will take this as a very personal F.U., I know this will destroy any trust you have had in me. IÂ’m terrified of the responses I will be met with. But I am more terrified of completely falling back into all my old ways. I will lose EVERYTHING if I do. The only way I think I can apologize to you, to my family and to myself is to man up, be honest and accepting complete responsibility for myself, and my actions. I will accept the consequences of my actions, post day one and proving myself one day at a time.

I gotta tell everyone here and be honest about something. This is the shit I hate the most here at KTC! There isn't a lot we can do to protect ourselves from this, except to protect our own quits above all else. I have struggled through this crap and made it so far. I am still a newbie rookie here at KTC and I don't want to sound like a sanctimonious asshole but here we go....

Neon, you really hurt a lot of people here. Screw the replies and the anger you will get from all of us here. What you have done is jeopardize our good quits today. Believe or not I actually expect people to post roll and mean it. This stinks all the way back to Paddymac and his shit too. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

These are the only times I can remember ever thinking about caving. People fighting the good fight and then get knocked down by a horrendous punch to the groin like this.

Well, I hope you continue on in your fight. It looks to me like you have a lot more to focus on than quitting dip. I hope you can handle all of it at the same time. A word of advice. STOP DRINKING PERIOD!!!!!

I will watch for you in April, but will watch from the sideline on this one. I do quit with you today!!!! IF YOU POST ROLL!!!!!

Read doc's response closely, Neon. What you did was hurt others. I'm not your psychologist or your psychiatrist, if you even have one, but your whole night resulted in hurting OTHERS. Think about that before you say anything else.

Doc is right...we don't need that kind of stuff here. I don't feel sad for you. I feel sad for all of my KTC brothers (and myself included). You hurt the ones that reached out to help you. If you haven't been to see a counselor of some sort, perhaps it is time? Look at the wake of wreckage and shit you left behind. What do you have to look forward to...more of the same until you address the underlying root cause.

Don't shit on us again. If you do, then you can just stay gone. Btw, you posted in December 13 with that shit in your system. You asked about Texas 22. I'm not the group spokesperson by any means but I'm sure my December quit brothers feel exactly as I do...don't come back to December 13 with that shit in your system. I doubt any group here will welcome you with the nic-bitch's tit fresh on your breath.

One last thing, in the words of Razd "Keep the shit out of your face."

I do want to pile on because both of these quitters are absolutely right. Every cave hurts the extended network of quitters who tried to help and are still battling.
I don't want words from you (no credibility now that you lied on roll), but I would like to see more of a quit plan. What is going to be different next time? How will you ensure that? Approach it the same way you did and expecting a different outcome isn't the smartest path...

Aw Shit Neon
Just saw this and what a kick in the nards. I will miss you in our group. Earlier Catty brought it to my attention in a PM that there are a lot of badass quit monsters here that caved before. Be one of them. Do this right this time. What the fuck dude. I just don't get it. You were one of my layers of quit and now I am in a funk. Not a miss dip funk just a miss my brother funk. Pissed and Sad at the same time. FUCK!!!!!!

Ugh. Very mixed emotions from a newbie with only 25 days quit.

The word "only" can be very powerful. For someone looking in, "only" 25 days seem very insignificant. For me and other quitters, "only" feels like a lifetime of physical struggles and mental mind games and a constant battle of protecting our quit. It is actually the "only" thing I have know for 25 days. It is the "only" thing I can know for today. It is the "only" thing, I can deal with tomorrow.

It is unfortunate that you didn't use the tools you have gained from KTC. It is sad that you didn't protect yourself that day. It is frustrating to read your entry. It is unacceptable that you lied on roll. That is the "only" thing I won't be able to forgive. I depend on this site. I depend on word that these fellow quitters give to me. I give them my word every day with the same honor. Do not take that away from me or any other quitter because you were weak. You do not have that right.

Good luck to you and your quit. I do hope you find a true quit!

Annnd, it looks like I accidentally bumped you from roll in May 2014...I'm not fixing it. Are you quit? I don't know? Have you answered the 3 questions in your NEW group (May 14) and your old group? I haven't seen your answers in May 14. Maybe coincidence worked one for the quitters by my accidentally bumping you from roll.

What will be different this time/what is your quit plan??

PS: I can't hold this in anymore...you messed with one of my quit brother's quit. He told you point blank that these are the times that have really made him think about caving. We are here to reach out and "support" each others' quits, not make someone struggle more. Pay it forward, not destroy it backwards and forward. I hope you do quit. I hope you answer the questions in your old and new group like you are supposed to do--all of the questions.

You came in here on day one, and argued up and down with each one of us, stating that you knew what was best, and you knew the way to quit. Somehow, we managed to reach you, you decided to dump whatever NRT you were harboring. We then watched as you slowly built strong quit ties, not only with your group, but also with some pretty top notch vets.

You caved and posted roll for the next week. You lied on roll call, posted with Nic in your mouth or in your system and that is unforgivable. I will never be able to trust that you are clean again. I wish you the best of luck in your quit. If you are allowed to remain on the site, you'll do it without my support.

A precedent has been sent, if you were posting roll with a dip in your mouth that tears apart the fabric of our brotherhood. Its one thing to cave, its a whole different thing to actively lie about it, what the hell were you thinking.

I'm sorry but maybe I'm a little to desensitized. Anybody read this dudes initial posts ??? Read between the lines. Tha dude is a squirrel. He hides his nuts in trees. Nobody need get their hearts trampled on by this Quit poser. Why the Hell is he even here ? His posts have all been about he's right and KTC is wrong. Just let him move on. He's a freakn expert. Go ask your wife what to do poser 'bang head' 'finger point' 'bang head'

Only one thing to add, and it's just my personal opinion: if you post roll here while you are using nicotine, you need help that we can't give you. To say the same thing differently, I think that if you are actively using when you post roll, you probably have deeper psychological issues to work on. We're here to help just about anyone quit nicotine, but we can't help you with whatever it is that compelled you to lie for a week on the internet.

People have been banned for what you've done, NeonPanther. I'm not going to express a view on that option. I am only here to encourage you to consider speaking with a mental health professional.

Neon, if nobody cared, we wouldn't bother replying to your intro thread. Dude you need to not only post roll and mean what you say, but you need to become more involved man. This is your quit. Don't leave it at posting roll. Reach out and be somebody on ktc. I personally believe you can do this man. Don't prove me wrong please. Post day one and be somebody. Pm me if you need another contact



Winter Green

This makes me wonder how many liars are posting roll on a daily basis. The bigger failure is not the cave, but the lack of honor. Anyone else who has secretly caved should either come clean now or just slink away in silence. This is like someone spiking my water with nicotine. Brotherhood + Accountability = Success This equation doesn't work if there is no honor. How can this program work without trust?

Dude. Seek help. The help you need is beyond the scope of this forum. Telling everyone on KTC. that you are quit when you know that to be a lie... Really? I don't see how you could ever recover and be an asset to a new quit group. They would always question everything you say or post. You would only make their quit that much more difficult having you present among them.

How many times did we text one another? Nearly everyday for awhile and several times a day for a good bit. We talked on the phone. Yet you lie strait to my face. On your text today when you admitted to your cave somehow I missed the fact you had been posting while using. I can take a lot, a hell of a lot,,,, but posting while using ain't one of them. I would literally slam my dick in the door before I would go against my word to this band of brothers and sisters. It's the very fabric that makes this work. Really hope you quit,,, I really do,,,, however there are other quit sites that would likely suit you better, I would suggest you go join one of those, best of luck neon. Erussell 268

[traumagnet]

He hasn't come back to say a thing I am w evil i would like admin to call for a vote caves are one thing out right lies about being nicotine free are another. We absolutely can not lower the bar it is too dangerous to everyone involved.

[Ron_Cross]

1/22/2014 Nicotine 0 Alcohol Day 7.

I caved.

I will not make excuses. On Wednesday Jan 15th I CHOSE to get obliteratedly drunk. The reasons and excuses for this are meaningless, I should have CHOSEN to post, call, or text for help. Instead I selfishly CHOSE to stop after work and start drinking as soon as I got home. I CHOSE to leave the house and drink all night till 3am. At 3:30 am on Thursday Jan 16, I CHOSE to stop and buy a can of dip. I CHOSE to cave. Alcohol is not an excuse, I CHOSE to drink. I CHOSE to cave. I CHOSE to fill 12 hours of that night with events I seriously regret, and will for a very long time. I CHOSE to put everything I value aside. I CHOSE to risk my life, my career, my family, myÂ… everything.

For some reason, my wife forgave me again. I posted day 1 for alcohol and promised myself I was Quit for alcohol and nicotine. I told myself, and my wife that if I accepted that drunk dip as a cave, I would just use it as a reason to fail. I told myself and my wife that I was not going to let one mistake reset all the progress I had made. I mostly didnÂ’t want to face all of you. I CHOSE to lie to all of you, and lie to myself that I could keep going. We had an awesome 3 day weekend, spent the entire time together as a family outdoors. I was craving most of the time, but we were busy, having a great time, and there was no time for dip. If there had been, IÂ’m sure I would have CHOSEN to dip again. Then, yesterday, completely sober, I CHOSE to stop and buy another can. I CHOSE to drive to 7-11. I CHOSE to circle around the parking lot twice while I decided if I wanted to buy it. I CHOSE to wander around the store as I acted like I was looking for a drink, half-assed trying to talk myself out of it. I CHOSE not to leave. I CHOSE to buy a can. I CHOSE to dip. I regretted it. I spit it out in disgust and threw it out in the closest trash can. This morning I CHOSE to stop and buy another can and dip again and then flushed it.

I CHOSE to go no further down this path. I have been typing this and talking to my wife all morning. She and I have tasted success and freedom. I will not let it go. I regret my CHOICES last Wednesday. I regret not making this choice Thursday morning. I regret being a despicable hypocrite for the last 7 days. I regret lying to my wife, to all of you and to myself these past 7 days. I regret that before every CHOICE I made, I could have CHOSEN to ask for help, and instead I CHOSE not to. I know it would have been answered with a landside of support.

I failed myself. I failed all of you. I failed my wife and my children. I will not let these mistakes destroy me, I cannot. I know I cannot be dishonest and succeed. Lies are addictions fuel. I cannot lie to my supporters. I cannot lie to myself or my loved ones any longer. I owe you all an apology. I want to fall to the ground and apologize, but I do not believe any words will make a difference. I know I am going to hurt and disappoint so many of you by posting this. I know some of you will take this as a very personal F.U., I know this will destroy any trust you have had in me. IÂ’m terrified of the responses I will be met with. But I am more terrified of completely falling back into all my old ways. I will lose EVERYTHING if I do. The only way I think I can apologize to you, to my family and to myself is to man up, be honest and accepting complete responsibility for myself, and my actions. I will accept the consequences of my actions, post day one and proving myself one day at a time.

I gotta tell everyone here and be honest about something. This is the shit I hate the most here at KTC! There isn't a lot we can do to protect ourselves from this, except to protect our own quits above all else. I have struggled through this crap and made it so far. I am still a newbie rookie here at KTC and I don't want to sound like a sanctimonious asshole but here we go....

Neon, you really hurt a lot of people here. Screw the replies and the anger you will get from all of us here. What you have done is jeopardize our good quits today. Believe or not I actually expect people to post roll and mean it. This stinks all the way back to Paddymac and his shit too. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

These are the only times I can remember ever thinking about caving. People fighting the good fight and then get knocked down by a horrendous punch to the groin like this.

Well, I hope you continue on in your fight. It looks to me like you have a lot more to focus on than quitting dip. I hope you can handle all of it at the same time. A word of advice. STOP DRINKING PERIOD!!!!!

I will watch for you in April, but will watch from the sideline on this one. I do quit with you today!!!! IF YOU POST ROLL!!!!!

Read doc's response closely, Neon. What you did was hurt others. I'm not your psychologist or your psychiatrist, if you even have one, but your whole night resulted in hurting OTHERS. Think about that before you say anything else.

Doc is right...we don't need that kind of stuff here. I don't feel sad for you. I feel sad for all of my KTC brothers (and myself included). You hurt the ones that reached out to help you. If you haven't been to see a counselor of some sort, perhaps it is time? Look at the wake of wreckage and shit you left behind. What do you have to look forward to...more of the same until you address the underlying root cause.

Don't shit on us again. If you do, then you can just stay gone. Btw, you posted in December 13 with that shit in your system. You asked about Texas 22. I'm not the group spokesperson by any means but I'm sure my December quit brothers feel exactly as I do...don't come back to December 13 with that shit in your system. I doubt any group here will welcome you with the nic-bitch's tit fresh on your breath.

One last thing, in the words of Razd "Keep the shit out of your face."

I do want to pile on because both of these quitters are absolutely right. Every cave hurts the extended network of quitters who tried to help and are still battling.
I don't want words from you (no credibility now that you lied on roll), but I would like to see more of a quit plan. What is going to be different next time? How will you ensure that? Approach it the same way you did and expecting a different outcome isn't the smartest path...

Aw Shit Neon
Just saw this and what a kick in the nards. I will miss you in our group. Earlier Catty brought it to my attention in a PM that there are a lot of badass quit monsters here that caved before. Be one of them. Do this right this time. What the fuck dude. I just don't get it. You were one of my layers of quit and now I am in a funk. Not a miss dip funk just a miss my brother funk. Pissed and Sad at the same time. FUCK!!!!!!

Ugh. Very mixed emotions from a newbie with only 25 days quit.

The word "only" can be very powerful. For someone looking in, "only" 25 days seem very insignificant. For me and other quitters, "only" feels like a lifetime of physical struggles and mental mind games and a constant battle of protecting our quit. It is actually the "only" thing I have know for 25 days. It is the "only" thing I can know for today. It is the "only" thing, I can deal with tomorrow.

It is unfortunate that you didn't use the tools you have gained from KTC. It is sad that you didn't protect yourself that day. It is frustrating to read your entry. It is unacceptable that you lied on roll. That is the "only" thing I won't be able to forgive. I depend on this site. I depend on word that these fellow quitters give to me. I give them my word every day with the same honor. Do not take that away from me or any other quitter because you were weak. You do not have that right.

Good luck to you and your quit. I do hope you find a true quit!

Annnd, it looks like I accidentally bumped you from roll in May 2014...I'm not fixing it. Are you quit? I don't know? Have you answered the 3 questions in your NEW group (May 14) and your old group? I haven't seen your answers in May 14. Maybe coincidence worked one for the quitters by my accidentally bumping you from roll.

What will be different this time/what is your quit plan??

PS: I can't hold this in anymore...you messed with one of my quit brother's quit. He told you point blank that these are the times that have really made him think about caving. We are here to reach out and "support" each others' quits, not make someone struggle more. Pay it forward, not destroy it backwards and forward. I hope you do quit. I hope you answer the questions in your old and new group like you are supposed to do--all of the questions.

You came in here on day one, and argued up and down with each one of us, stating that you knew what was best, and you knew the way to quit. Somehow, we managed to reach you, you decided to dump whatever NRT you were harboring. We then watched as you slowly built strong quit ties, not only with your group, but also with some pretty top notch vets.

You caved and posted roll for the next week. You lied on roll call, posted with Nic in your mouth or in your system and that is unforgivable. I will never be able to trust that you are clean again. I wish you the best of luck in your quit. If you are allowed to remain on the site, you'll do it without my support.

A precedent has been sent, if you were posting roll with a dip in your mouth that tears apart the fabric of our brotherhood. Its one thing to cave, its a whole different thing to actively lie about it, what the hell were you thinking.

I'm sorry but maybe I'm a little to desensitized. Anybody read this dudes initial posts ??? Read between the lines. Tha dude is a squirrel. He hides his nuts in trees. Nobody need get their hearts trampled on by this Quit poser. Why the Hell is he even here ? His posts have all been about he's right and KTC is wrong. Just let him move on. He's a freakn expert. Go ask your wife what to do poser 'bang head' 'finger point' 'bang head'

Only one thing to add, and it's just my personal opinion: if you post roll here while you are using nicotine, you need help that we can't give you. To say the same thing differently, I think that if you are actively using when you post roll, you probably have deeper psychological issues to work on. We're here to help just about anyone quit nicotine, but we can't help you with whatever it is that compelled you to lie for a week on the internet.

People have been banned for what you've done, NeonPanther. I'm not going to express a view on that option. I am only here to encourage you to consider speaking with a mental health professional.

Neon, if nobody cared, we wouldn't bother replying to your intro thread. Dude you need to not only post roll and mean what you say, but you need to become more involved man. This is your quit. Don't leave it at posting roll. Reach out and be somebody on ktc. I personally believe you can do this man. Don't prove me wrong please. Post day one and be somebody. Pm me if you need another contact



Winter Green

This makes me wonder how many liars are posting roll on a daily basis. The bigger failure is not the cave, but the lack of honor. Anyone else who has secretly caved should either come clean now or just slink away in silence. This is like someone spiking my water with nicotine. Brotherhood + Accountability = Success This equation doesn't work if there is no honor. How can this program work without trust?

Dude. Seek help. The help you need is beyond the scope of this forum. Telling everyone on KTC. that you are quit when you know that to be a lie... Really? I don't see how you could ever recover and be an asset to a new quit group. They would always question everything you say or post. You would only make their quit that much more difficult having you present among them.

[Evil_Won]

People have been banned for what you've done, NeonPanther. I'm not going to express a view on that option. I am only here to encourage you to consider speaking with a mental health professional.

I don't believe in sugar coating so I'll say it. Be gone by your own doing or Admin vote. Please.